WEEKLY WHISPERS.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XLIII, Issue XLIII, 6 March 1909, Page 2

WEEKLY WHISPERS.

// there's a hole in a? your coats, I rede ye tent it • A ehieCs among ye takiii" notes, And, fault, he v j.rent it. „,, . — Burna; iho vagaries of the increased water pressure may be said to be Weir-d, if Dne did not dread being thrown out of a window. Just imagine the awful underground journey of those unfortunate eels from the moment they entered the mains till they wercjammed at the angle where the plumber puts his joint for the tap ! With hope in front and the irresistible behind those wretched creatures make fheir cramped way in Cimmerian darkness, till at last, when the voyage is done, they come out in sections. It is difficult to get at the exact view-point of the eel ; but one can imagine the state of mind we should be in if, like Jean Valjean, in the Cloaca Maxima of Paris, we had to make our way along endless pipes, to find a policeman at the first grating, and be clubbed by him into pulp. [Alas, for your romancing ! According to the City Engineer those eels were hatched out in the mains, and never became trapped at all.— Ed. N.E.M.— Another illusion destroyed! Eheu!— Moff,] But there are stranger things than eels that can obstruct the water supply from a tap. The other day, .at the business establishment of a well-known local firm, the water from the storeroom tap would not flow. "Oh! it's an eel!" was the unanimous verdict, so the staff proceeded lo hunt out that eel and make parcels of it. The tap happens to be enclosed in an old-fashioned box which in the old red sandstone epoch probably did duty for a sink. When the box was opened," it was found that it was not an eel that had got into the pipe, but the neck of an ancient bottle of beer. There were also two or three other bottles of beer in the receptacle, and no one knows how long they had been there — several years probabty. They had not been opened ; their contents were intact; and the surmise is that some one of a past generation "planted" them there when he heard the "boss" coming, and never took them out. By degrees the neck of one of the bottles worked into the tap opening, and hence the trouble with the water, and the subsequent discovery. Fact ! Here are some further curious developments due to increased water pressure. The other evening, at one of the club rooms, a member took a thick glass of the common or garden variety to get some water from a tap. He turned on the water, when the bottom of the glass was immediately blown out, as cleanly as if it had been cut by a diamond, and a broad ring of glass was left in the member's hand. Only that the member is known to be a strict lifelong teetotaller his fellow members might hint that it was the strength of the stuff in the bottom of the glass rather than the force of the water that blew out the botom. [Next! Ed. N.E.M.— Fact. Honest Injun. Ask any angler. Moff. — Now who asks anglers for facts ? Go on to the other fairy tales.— Ed. N.E.M.— You are personal ! — Moff.] It seems hard lines that one cannot get believed by his editor on the rare occasions when ho tells the truth, but one has to take the risk with the soulless and grovelling commercial minds that cannot rise above their curving waistcoat buttons. [For whom do you mean that?— Ed. N.E.M. — Never mind. Them as the cap fits, let 'em wear it.— Moff, — It isn't a question of caps ; it's a mattei of waistcoats ov«r curves. — Ed. N.E.M.— Ahem!— Moff.] Well, to return to^oui buttons — I mean, muttons: — One even ing within the statutory hour and during the period when the increased pres sure first burst as a revelation upon th< people and then burst pipes, a lady was using her garden hose, and her deal little poodle was sitting at a respectfui distance from the nozzle, but near tht hose itself, about three yards from th« junction with the tap. Suddenly th< hose sprang a leak, and a jet of watei with the force of that ±1 x>attery gur that won't shoot straight struck th< poodle right in the loins. That poodl< gave a yolp that was both surprised and indignant, and fled, and to this hour it looks askance at anything resembling a hose. The mistress tried t<: get hold of her pet to see if Mr Atcheson Smith's new weir had drilled a hole in him such as Satanite might do ; but the pup "wasn't having any," and kept aloof till pa6t the statutory hosing hour. This also is more or less a fact, although probably it will be called only a. "fish yarn." *«••♦# • One of the most curious accidents on record occurred recently at Narromine, in N.S. Wales, when a man was entombed while digging a well in o. k hotel yard. The extraordinary feature of the affair is that there were no means nearer than Sydney — about 400 miles away — of getting rescuing appliances. All the resources of the telegraph, works, and railway departments were set in motion to get aid from Bathurst, the nearest civilised town ; but there were no cylinders there, so delay was inevitable till they were got through from Sydney. Meantime efforts to feed the man by means of tubes were made more or l«ss successfully, and everything .was in readiness awaiting the arrival of the cylinders. The entombed man was in a recess where he could just move about. At latest accounts the cylinders were on their way from Sydney post haste, and it is hoped that the man was rescued. • • • • • To demonstrate how severely the dry weather is affecting the water supply of some of the farmsteads, Captain Kichardson, of the Artillery, tells a story of thirst during the recent H Battery field practice. He and some others with him called at a country place and asked for a drink of water. After considerable delay, during which it was evident that the residents had gone to fetch the precious nectar, hree small glasses, containing a brownish fluid, were offered the thirsty warriors. The lady of the house said she fully appreciated the services of tha Volunteers in training for the defence of the Empire, and gave of her best and all. But the good man was away ; the domestic store of water had run out ; and till the fresh supply was brought from a part of the creek about half-a-mile away there was literally not a drop in the house except in the three glasses. The water was accepted in the spirit in which it was offered — but three tumblers of water among four or five dry gunners are not calculated to assuage a thirst that was worth ten shillings to any publican. • • » • • The appended extract from the "Sydney Daily Telegraph" is of interest to a fruit-growing centre such as Nelson : —"The present grape season is proving the most profitless experienced by New South Wales vignerons for some years. In spite of the fact that the crop of table grapes was reduced to about half, by the heat wave at the beginning of the year, the price to the grower is no more than is realised in seasons of .plenty. As a matter of fact values have gone .below those of previous years, but the public ; are, all the. same, asked to pay more, and growers are much perplexed in con*-; sequence. "Speaking to a well-known vigneron, who sells his own fruit in the Sydney market, and is in a position to study trade tactics, a representative of tftli "Daily Telegraph' was given an insight into the workings of the market, which goes a- long way towards explaining the anomalies which «rist. It is alleged that the majority of the city fruiterers work in unison; each market morning, they arrive, at a tacit understanding regarding the price- to be paid for various varieties of fruit, and act accordingly. To simplify the carrying into effect of theso decisions, one individual will buly for a number of shopkeepers, and by this

means there" is- less likelihood of the prices arranged being diverged from. After tho shopkeepers- have concluded their purchases — some time before 10 a.m. — the market becomes quiet, until the "jammies" begin to operate — usually in the afternoon — when agents are tired md weary of trying to dispose of big lots of fruit which they know well is deteriorating with every hour, that passes. The "jammie" knowe this, too, and waits his opportunity. At the last moment hs swoops down, and, buying in big lots of fruit that would be useless on the morrow, gets it at his own price. Then comes the opportunity for the itinerant hawker, who for a few pence buys what the others hare left. • • • « • "At the present time, growers say they see no way of remedying matters, alf° U , S \ I ? ombin «) movement is now afoot, to bring about an alteration of existing conditions with the completion of the new farkets, which will, they hope, afford lacii...es for disposing of the fruit to the general public direct. As fruit to the general public direct. As aa instance of the abnormal charges made to the public by retaielrs, it is only necessary, the speaker said, to deal with pasion fruit. This fruit although in great demand among consufers, would not pay to send to market, .the ruling price being 2s 6d a "gin" case of 40 dozen. The consequence was that thousands of cases were allowed to rot on. the ground, and it is estifated that in the Glenorie district alone -6000 cases went to waste in this way. At the same time, the retail price in Sydney was from 4d to 6d a dozen, the profit to the retailer being about 18s a case. While these thousands of cases of feoit were rotting a few miles out of the city, thousands of families were wanting it, because passion fruit is looked upon as absolutely necessary for fruit salads. They could not obtain it, however, owing to the high prices asked. The same sate of affairs applies to' almost all varieties of fruit in a more or les degree, and the speaker felt confident that two-thirds of city and suburban residents regav dfruit as a luxury which they «£&sgft ITE .