Page 4 Advertisements Column 7

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XLI, Issue 21, 27 January 1906, Page 4

A very peculiar leUer Ka9 tteen received by the Chief Post Office at , Christchurch from a gentleman' named Murphy, who is residing . in the United States, but who originally came from Freshford. County Claro, Island. Evidently ho has irreat faith— no doubo from Wa oxperi enee in America— ln the almighty dollar, as he oilers the Chief Postmaster one pond as a reward for information of some relatives if forwarded within thirty days. The description of the supposed location of the relatives has a delightfully Hibernian vagueness about it, beimg described as "Australia, New Zealand, or somewhere else. - ;It is perhaps needless to say that the reward offered has not been. earned, although inquiries have been mado in the colony., ■ • ■, „ A telephone inspector had occasion to visit a country house to repair the instrument, which had been out of ordor. After executing the necessary repairs, he was informed by one of the servants that the lady of the house would like to see him in the drawing room. He -was shown into the room, by the servant, and at once noticed an old ladv seated by the fire. The old lady informed the inspector that sho was slightly deaf, tt t the same time putt ng a largo oartrumpet to her ear, in order that he might inform her what had none wrong with the telephone. Imagine her look of surprise when the inspector commenced by shouting down tho ear-trumpet, ! Exchange ! Are you there ? - In what is called a "Picked Par " in a contemporary *says the Westminster "Gazette") we read the knowing remarkable information >:— "Snakeskin Clothes.-Serpent s;kin is now being used for clothing, ihe akin chos«-<n is that of the anaconda snake, and by special treatment, it is statedi the scales become firmly attached to the skin and make it not only pliable, but Watertight a-n^ exceedngly warm." Of course the feeautv of the joke which has been, so successfully played off upon the editor is the fact that no serpent has scales ! Little wonder if 'special treatment" is needed to make the nan-existent scales "become firmly attached" and the skin made "into clothing." • * » • A "would-be if he could" sort of haw-haw visitor was viewing the still incomplete street decorations for the Nelson Carnival the other day, and with the usual " cheaptripper" sneer he asked ono of the superintendents of tho work "what those dirty pocket handkerchiefs were for" (meaning the bunting , "They are for the noses of snotty fellows like you," came the prompt roply. The inquirer then left. Fact. MOFIUS SILITE . CABLEGRAMS AND TELEGRAMS. (Press Asaooiatior .—By Telegraph, Copyright./ BERLIN, Jan, 26. In the Prussian Diet PrJlnoo v o n Uulow appealed to the Bourgeoisie to assist the Government to combatl the revolutionary social democracy. LONDON, Jan. 2<>. Mr John Burns, President of the Local Government Board, at tho instigation of tho BattiVKja Borough, hn.s eng-agKxl 2000 uiuinip! eyed on road-mnking. Lord Elgin retains a white fo' ce of artillery and engineers in Jamaica pcrmauuntly, stations a f.'.st cruiser in the West In'i'>.'S, and sends a cruiser squadron there on an annual visit. ST. PETERSBURG, Jan. 20. An American firm offers to construct a Baltic Black Sea canal from Riga to Kherstan, at a cost of forty million sterling. WASHINGTON, Jan. 26. Tho Houso, by 194 to 150, has adopted a Bill admitting Arizona, New Mexico and Oklahama as two new States. NEW ZEALAND. WELLINGTON, Jan. 26. Tho Government has decided to abandon the projected Labour Parliament owing to a number of the Employers' Associations refusing to take part and some jabour organisations making impossible demands.. Mrs Mackenzie died suddenly at Opoho, Otago, from heart failure. Charles Teak, of the Eighth Contingent, has died at Johanne:|bfir'g'. The Government has given a grant of £358 for a technical school building of brick nt Npw Plymouth. The sale of the leases 'of suctions; in the Itotorua township -was very successful. Most of tmmi ibf ought more than thu upset price, wjvilo some fetched double. The escaped prisoner named Cronk has been captured at Wellington. Ho had on a fresh suit of clothes, supposed be the proceeds of a burglary. The death is announced at Napier of Mi- Frederick Sutton, ex-M.H.R:., who was an oarly settler. A series of life-size models of Maori" chiefs are to bo placed im the International Exhibition at Christ-, church. Statuary will be procured from Italy for decorative purposes. Commemorative postage stamps will bo sold in the Exhibition. A circular has been issued to tho Stipendiary . Magistrates regarding) I the method of dealing with juvenile offenders. No child is Oo be kept :m a gaol oi" lock-up pending, tria l . A Chamber of Commerce has been re-establishad at Timaru, Mr J. P. Newman toeing the President. The Arbitratioa Court has for over a, week been engaged with the seamen's dispute, which is not finished. The Court will not be able to leave Dunedin for Westland on the date first proposed. An excursion train from! Hawera to Wanganui met with an accident. The engine and three carriages were derailed, the rails were bent and spread badly. Some of the passengers wi>re slightly injured. BBITISH POLITICS. LAST NIGHTS CABLES, FINAL ELECTION RETURNS. STATE OF PARTIES. MAKING ROOM FOR MR BALFOUR THE TARIFF QUESTION. 'Press Association,— By Telegraph. —Copyright.) LONDON, Jan. 26. There havo been re-elected : — Arfon Division Carnarvon, W. Jones (L.); Lanark North Eastern, A, Findlay; Keighley Division Yorks, Alderman Briggg. Liberal gains : — Patrick Division Lanark, R. Balfour ; Altrincham Division Cheshire, W. J. Crossley, 8358, C. DisI raeli (C.) 5667; Renfrew Eastern, Laidlaw. Unionist gain:— Goyan, R. Duncan. . Liberals elected : — Brecknock, S. Robincon; Harborough, Leighmann. . Mr Alban Gibbs, member for London, has offered to resign in Mr Arthur Balfour's favour. Mr Balfour has gratefully accepted on public grounds. It is unlikely that he will be opposed. The position is now : — Liberals 338, Labourites 50, Nationalists 81, Unionists 141. Mr Moreing, the- Tariffite candidate for Gainsborough, sent three Libera! and three Conservative workers to study labour conditions in Germany. They are unanimous as to the necessity of a change some advocating a duty on foreign goods, but all are agreed in the absence of unemployed in Germany, and that the unskilled worker is better off there than in England, while there is a greater demand for skilled labour. The members of the deputation are no longer Freetraders on the existing basis. (Received Jan. 27, 8.50 a.m.) LONDON, Jan. 26. No Unionist has been elected throughout Wales. 1.. ■ — i C According to the "Daily Telegraph," an electric "spanker" has been introduced ipto a public school at East Penna, Illinois. A recalcitrant pupil is placed in a stooping, position over a chair, a button is pressed, nurt a nrarjber o! revolving paddles spank tho anatomy of the wilful child Into tractalbilUty. The power can be regulated to a nicety. TKe parents of children atteradinm j tho school are indignant, but the inventor thinks he has manufactured tho best punitive a'g^nt in' existence! i 1