THE BRITISH SNORE.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XIV, Issue 145, 19 June 1879, Page 4

THE BRITISH SNORE.

(May fair). For solidity, emphasis, and variety, for an importunatenees that will not be denied, for a great deal of what may be called funeralistn of sound, the typical British snore takes precedence of all other kinds of 'snoring ; and in respect of noise is only beaten by the negro's. One might be willing to attribute much of the strength and volume of the British snore to British dishes and cooking, were it not that the Scotch — the trugalest swains among them — who eat burgoo that they may drink whisky — do, of all the British islanders, snore the very loudest. It will not be denied, even by the author of Black's picturesque guide-books, that a Highlander's snore is a sound — nay, a roar, often — quite beyond the reach of the fattest and oilieat eon of the London Mansion House, and outside the possibilities of the most dexterous nose this side the Tweed. The British snore, therefore, if it owes something: to meat and ale, does not owe all ; it is, indeed, an outcome of the national character ; a naval and military gale ; at once a protest and a defiance; something to respect by all but sleepy men. Further, ifc is respectable because of its extreme variety. We mean to gay, that there is no species of sound more remarkable as an expression of individual character than an Englishman's snore. The turtle is always in the throat of the sleeping alderman ; trade breathes in his splutter ; and one hears a metallic echo in the singular groan that denotes an expiration. The snore of the tired waiter is the sleeping gurgle of a man whose slumber is haunted by a sense of wakefulness, and the music of his nose is but the language of a soul harassed by a dread that some one calls whose voice cannot be heard. Can you misjudge the character of the snore that breaks from yonder arm-chair, in which, with his cheek upon hia shoulder, his half-smnked cigar upon the floor, sleeps a shape of square shoulders and helpless legs ? Is there no self-complacency in that fervid pouring ? Dreamless if you will ; yet there are tones in the dismal solid utterances which convey thoughts surely clearer than fancies to the listening ear, and help to an impression which a litfcle spell of intimacy moat shrewdly confirm. Xet the snore is often disappointing, but not as an illustration of character It will break a spell sometimes ; it will disturb '• an idealism ; and the vulgarising influence of it is perhaps the re:son why the charge of snoring is universally and indignantly denied and repudiated. The poet would be held aa ruthless and mad who should figure sleeping beauty disturbing the calm rest of Cupid by snoring. Yet it must be owned that sleeping beauty does sometimes snbre, and very loudly too. This is the unruliest condition of snoring. One pardons the disturbance in a man, and forgives it more readily in a fat nkn, who would be acting unnaturally if he did not snore in his sleep. But pne cannot think, without emotion, of a lovely girl, sleeping as sweetly as a rosebud in dew, breaking the sa<jred silence of her chamber with cries like those of a rook in a tree. When snoring takes this form it loses all claim to be philosophically discussed. ; It becomes nothing more nor less than a

heathen viVation. It would be simply impious to accept it as an expression of character. One prefers to deal wit h. it as an infirmity, and to ask, for the Fake of the dark and pink beauties, how it may be cured.