Odds and Ends.

North Canterbury Gazette, Volume I, Issue 7, 23 September 1932, Page 12

Odds and Ends.

Holiday Exhibits from the “ Manchester Guardian ”:

Interesting development of the “permanent wave” idea in beauty culture: There was a young lady of Dinting Who said "I'm fed up with this tinting: I shall tattoo my toes, And my ears and my nose, ’Cos I’m all for indelible printing.”

Severe comment on modern “ beachwear ’ ’:—

A sea-nymph from Hale (of all places!) Said “ What price my wide, open spaces? ” Her Papa replied, “ Lass, Things have reached a nice pass— You might as well bathe in my braces! ”

Sad evidence of uncertain moral values:—

There was a young man from Parr’s Wood Who said “I try hard to be good; But I often forget, And it’s always a sweat— And I really don’t know why I should.”

Commendable example of resistance to modern ideas: — There was an old girl from Miles Platting Who sat on the front doing tatting: When they said “ Don’t you hike? Mountaineer? - Motor bike? ” She replied “ Why, I’d rather go ratting! ”

Deliberate affront to ancient mariners :

A flapper residing up Hyde ways Went tooling around sluices and tideways As a platinum blonde Prom the Back o’ Beyond, Till she knocked all the fishermen sideways.

The Bride Who Game Back to Vote:

Serious students of “ changes in family life ” —who, of course, need no assistance from the Beveridges and 8.8. C. in order to pursue that interesting subject—should certainly, says an exchange, take note of the remarkable achievement of the' bride who returned specially from her honeymoon to vote at the Wednesbury election. Here we have arrived at something which should reduce to shame the decriers of Votes for Women. Only four years ago we were being asked to imagine the frightful consequences of the “flapper vote,” and, with a charming if characteristic inconsistency, were warned on the one hand that enfranchised woman would never trouble to /go to the poll, and on the other hand that her votes must inevitably ruin the country. Satirists and even some serious observers lamented what they said would be the feminine tendency to regard polling as a nuisance to be avoided if possible; political canvassers were reported to have torn their hair on; doorsteps when told by the newly enfranchised: “I leave all that to the men.” But the Bride of Wednesbury has justified her sex, and it is possible that the day may come when England, maintaining against <a world of Dictators her faith in Democracy and Parliamentary Institutions, will erect in Palace Yard a statue —symbolic and modernist —to the Woman of Wednesburv —the Bride Who Came Back to Vote.

A Change of Front. [Young Communists of Soviet Russia have just been officially permitted to wear white collars and ties instead of the Russian shirt or sailor’s blouse. It is explained that white collars need no longer be regarded as the mark of the bourgeois or “ intellectual ”

classes.] Let us see if-Ivan can Be the little gentleman, For the floppy styles in dress ' Cause the Komissars distress. * Thus the costume lately haired Now is held in high regard, And the tie and collar rouse No more comment than the blouse. So with staider step we march To the stable reign of starch. Let us hope the Comrade pays Due regard to altered ways, For, as he this doctrine swallows. Good begins but better follows. Hear the Komissar expound Wisdom to the youth around:— Do not let us dress like roughs; After collar came the cuffs; Then the white and shining slip Peeping from the waistcoat’s tip (Very chic); and after that Comes the bland and blameless spat. So we climb from height to height. Ever visions of delight, Till we reach the Land of Promise (As adorned by Jimmie Thomas) Where we shine as evening stars, Plus boiled shirts and fat cigars. Still, it seems a little odd That this path should now'be trod, Stern and stiff, without a whimper, Just when bourgeois styles grow limper, Lo! from Wimbledon to Wigan, Lo! from Bootle to Balbriggan, Open necks are counted swell Where the beastly bourgeois dwell, And the tennis shirt demeans Sunday’s choice suburban scenes. Even on the noblest grounds Tragic laxity abounds, And, behold! in Rotten Row Reckless riders to and fro, Minus bowler, minus trilby, Heav’n be praised, the Five-year Plan Shows a nobler glimpse of man! There the Comrades take their stand Styles the suburbs now abandon ; Modes deleted from their menu Thus acquire a newer venue. And to Russia we set off Horrify Sir Walter Gilbey. For to find the perfect toff!