The Inside Story

Northern Advocate, 14 January 1939, Page 11

The Inside Story

by "PRIVATE D.”

QHAMMED With sea food, maltreated by mosquitoes and bucked by sea hcrses, Northland’s holiday population ti.e. non farming) is emulating Shakespeax*e’s schoolboy. These times we are always drifting into things— Communism, chaos, or merely, as at present, being cast up by the tide, and left high and dry, to the very sandy and barren chores of the workaday world. As unemployment has been banished completely fro mour shores (vide Ministerial statistics), facetious treatment of this archaic subject may now be permissable, Contemplating our holiday loafing in retrospect, temporary unemployment losse much of its horror—in fact, if a vote were taken at Northland watering places, advocates, of a 40-week year would be found in the majority. • > . O ,rf ll « pRIENDS in the newspaper gamehow they wish it were, instead of bearing the imprint of reality—term this the “silly” season. Certainly many indiscretions are committed between just before Christmas and when New Year resolutions have time to, take effect the introduction of the import regulations as a typical instance,- ■ i ■ , * * * * '

JJUT really, the phrase “silly season” is more iritrospectively correct than it would appear on the surface. During the past fortnight or three weeks, brains usually active and intelligent, have been allowed td>. remain .entirely- dormant. Brilliant male thinkers have permitted their wits to blunten and their beards to sharpen. Hair oil topdressing, applied liberally after swimming, has failed entirely as a mental fertiliser, and, as before indicated, many, of our most distinguished citizens have forgotten even to shave—much less to split straws in their usual impressive manner. <• • ■ i ' J f * a ‘

jpURITV leagues will be relieved to know that shorts have been worn longer - • this yearv-the reason being thftrin T^st hi^three jweeks instd|a <Jf two. There _ was the case, however, of the oarsman, who; wishing to make the best use of the-' wind; hoisted the only 'material available for a sail. But some of our greatest nautical epics have been built around equally threadbare foundations.

men of the camps meet to swap gossip, they are perfectly entitled to do so in their reversed roles of dishwashers, sleepers and drawers of water—some harrowing instances of domestic cruelty are revealed. Perhaps the most appealing of all is that of a husband who is distinctly master in his own home, but while,on holiday is required to get his wife a cup of 6 a.m. tea and prepare the breakfast for her to consume iri the bed which he has made. This is a case which the Society for the Prevntion of Cruelty to Mere Man shoqld. investigate thoroughly. Whosoever maketh his camp stretcher should lie in it. • « • usual smells of the seaside encampment were added to this season of the aroma of lotions, embrocations and ointments, used variously to

SILLY SEASONING OF ’ CAMP FARE

I extinguish sun burn, strengthen the i muscles of the young and preserve i that schoolgirl complexion. After an : exhausting hike of a couple of miles, ; or a minute’s dive into the breakers, • it is apparently necessary for the com- ; ing generation to resort to the restoratives furnished from bottles and phials. Perhaps the bright young things were following the example of the modern wrestler and so smothering themselves in oils and ungents as to prevent any octopus from getting, a hold. So prolonged did the first aid periods become in some camps, that the more adult members of the party were exceeding fearful lest some major disaster—such as measles or chicken pox—should appear, In this event the return freight of “emptied” would have overtaxed any brewer’s waggon. • » » • that which has been written before goes to prove that it is the silly season indeed, and that even such a master mind as that encased behind the Private D*s sun tan is still rocking as does a dinghy in a jobbly sea. * Holidays are like a private bank account—once drained upon are difficult to restore. Pleasant is the spending, they yet have to be paid for.

« * * 1 Ut MATERIALLY— and mentally, of course, inflation may cure even that. Supplied with ample funds, we may enjoy our-fun without having to think for ourselves after the tide recedes and the tent pegs are drawn.