HUSBANDS ON THE SPOT

Northern Advocate, 31 October 1936, Page 1 (Supplement)

HUSBANDS ON THE SPOT

The Inside Story

T WAS one of the 6500 people who gambolled about the Gymkhana grounds on Labour Day. One Auckland paper gave the attendance at 10,000, but evidently 3500 expected spectators from the south did not put in an appearance. They certainly missed something. A study of the crowd itself was well worth the price of admission,. The weather was typically Indian and perspiration from ,over-heated bandsmen poured literally into the cavities of euphonium and big basses. A 'flight in one of the model aeroplanes would have been the only way to have kept really

By the Private D.

cool, although some of the motor cycle trick artists showed surprising coolness when jumping through flaming screens and chafing each other at break-neck speed round the paddock.

11/TANY found their way to the park out that was the last, thing they did find. During the day the radio announcer was constantly troubled by parents who had lost their children, by children who had lost their parents and sweethearts who had lost their hearts. The foot of the control tower was the scene of many happy reunions. Finally the announcer, with £ confidence horn of his many successes, told the crowd, that if anyone had lost his mind to"come up here and I will find it for you.”

JP anyone doubted the placidity .of Northern women they received an eye-opened during the rolling-pin hurling competition, which gave proof that local ladies in this supreme domestic art are as steady as any of the species. Husbands were noticed hanging about the outskirts of the crowd. They had no doubts, realising that their better halves had only to do as well as they did at home to be strong contenders for the prize money. This time it was not a principle or a divorce which was at stake, but a handsome slice of the root of all evil —filthy lucre. Those unmarried thought it a great* joke, while men who had been’ scarred and battered in the privacy of their homes doubted the wisdom of the Gymkhana committee in encouraging such a sport, in which the result is always a foregone conclusion —a win for the wife by fair means or foul.

hurling, in the same way as powdering one’s nose, or blacking someone else’s eye, is a definite art and mere, man on Labour Day had an opportunity of studying this, technique. If you are to be murdered it is useful to know how your assailant goes about it. Forty per cent, of women favour the under-arm throw in this underhand sport, while the rest use the cricketer’s approach by swinging the arm over in a full

circuit. The lobbists were easily outclassed in the competition and. it is understood that several of these were unmarried ladies who subsequently received offers of wedlock. As was only to be expected in an event from scratch, the maiden competitors were hardly in the race at all. Most of them did not put the same spirit into their throws, while others lacked the inspiration of having a real target.

a false sense of security by the accuracy with which the early throwers had hurled, the crowd drew in, but they should have known better. It is an axiom that when a woman jumps to a conclusion, she/always lands on it squarely, because when the conclusion steps to one side thinking to avoid her s it gets right in her way. So with the rolling pins. After the first dozen attempts, which went moderately up the. fairway, nothing was safe —not even the electric cables high overhead nor the people clustered outside the railings, nor even the friends who stood in the background. With visions of insurance claims in the back of their 'minds, the officials must have sighed with relief when it was all over.

even to divest herself of her overcoat, a l&aori lady proved' that wahines have become equally as accomplished Mn this mode of attach, which a few centuries ago was confined entirely to the white breadmakers. With every throw she exceeded her previous best, sending the missile with unerring accuracy over 30 yards through the air. Finally, when , she had eliminated all competition and appeal was made to her husband to go into tiie firing line as an incentive to the establishment of a new world record, Barkis, smilingly, was not willing.

JN this week’s Parliamentary news it was reported that the Dentists’ Bill is to be held over. I wish that my dentist’s bill could have the same fate, but, having fceen read for a third time, there seems no option but to deal with it finally. The Dentists’ Bill does not seem to have aroused great enthusiasm, and the Opposition gnashed its molars a bit at the start. Probably by the time Parliament has explored all its cavities and extracted the nerves, the Act will be a false, illfitting legislative denture that . will give real dentist tooth-ache.