THE ORATOR AND HIS SPECTACLES.

Northern Advocate, 31 March 1888, Page 3

THE ORATOR AND HIS SPECTACLES.

Everybody has heard of that gentleman of the long robe who had a habit oi twirling and twisting a bit of packthread about his fingers whenever he was pleading ; inaomuch that some of his brethren began to think he could not plead without it; and one day some waggish barrister who was opposed to him in a certain cause, acting upon this notion, slyly removed the packthread out of his reach and purview. The resultwas as anticipated ; that bit of packthread was evidently the thread of his discourse, and having lost it, he floundered about for some time, and eventually lost his cause also. There is a pleasant companion story to this. The subject of this story, however is not a barrister, but an M.P. He was I a man of considerable talent as an orator, but he bad an odd habit of continually har.dling his spectacles whenever he addressed the house ; first, placing them on his nose, in their fit and proper place ; then turning them up on the top of his lofty forehead ; then taking them down, folding them up and placing them upon the desk before him ; then replacing them on his nose ; then turning them up again to his forehead ; and so on, without stopping, until his oration was ended. One day a very important question came on for discussion, and he commenced a speech in opposition to it. A frieud of the proposed measure, who was withal a bit of a wag, having anticipated this opposition, had also resolved to try if he could not so embarrass the oratory of the opposer as to neutralize its effects upon the house ; and for this purpose he provided himself with a dozen pairs of spectacles. Well, the hon. member beg^an his speech with his customary ability, and exceeding great gravity, but he had scarcely got through his exordium before he was, as usual, busily at work with his spectacles, and, as usual, they were speedily turned up to the top of his forehead. At this juncture his enemy, who stood ready, slyly placed another pair on the desk. These were taken up, and, by regular gradations, gained a place on the orator's forehead close below the first

pair. A third, a fourth, and a fifth pair were disposed of in the same manner. A general smile, which had from the first prevaded the countenances of the hon. and attentiveincmbers, gradually resolved itself into au almost irrepressible grin ; and, at last, when the hon. oppositionist, in the midst of one of his most patriotic and impassioned sentences, turned up a sixth pair, there was one loud and long Deal of laughter from all quarters of the House— clerks, door-keepers, and 11 strangers" joining in one hearty and simultaneous guffaw. The hon. member was dumb-founded. He looked round in astonishment upon this unexpected and strange interruption ; but, accidentally raising his hand to his head, he grasped the bunch of spectacles. The whole force of the joke instantly rushed upon his mind ; and dashing the handful of spectacles on the floor, he snatched up his hat, and left the House. The Bill, which he had opposed, was pasfel by a triumphant majority.