HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 64, Issue 171, 22 July 1939, Page 11

HUMOUR

\ Hot Stuff ** When the “No. 1” member of tho .home team was about to throw at a ! local darts match, a visitor asked another member of the team if the “man on the mark” was good. ! “Good?” exclaimed the member; “not ’arf ’e ain’t! Wo got 'im transferred from a pub dahn the road, and ’• cost us. fourteen fahsand pahnds.”

Big Enough The newly-married wife was making her purchase at the bookshop. “I’ll take that half-crown cookery book,” she said. “We have a larger edition at ftvn shillings, madam,” said the assistant. “No, thank you,” said the bride. “You see, both my husband and I are small eaters!”

Asked For It The lift was crowded and the lift girl was about to close the gates w'hen she accidentally stepped on the foot of | a very stout and fussy woman, i “You clumsy girl!” said the latter. “Do you think my feet were made for a fool to walk on?” The lift attendant gazed at her for a moment and then replied, “I should imagine so, madam.”

Wasted Words Counsel was cross-examining a witness in an important case. He asked: “And so on 20th October you say you called on Mrs Smith. Now what did she say?” “1 object to the question, my lord,” interrupted opposing counsel. There ensued an hour’s fierce argument between counsel, and in tho efid the Judge allowed the question. “And, as I was saying,” continued counsel, triumphantly, “you called on Mrs Smith. Now, what did she say?” “Nothing—she was out,’’ was the reply.

“Where’s the car ” the professor’s wife asked the professor. “Did I take the car ” “Certainly you did.” “Well, I thought it strange. When T got out at tho post office I turned round to thank the gentleman who had given me a lift and he wasn’t there.