HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 63, Issue 175, 27 July 1938, Page 9

HUMOUR

"I He was in deep disgrace, and, try as he would, he could not get a smile out* of his wife at breakfast. "Are you cross with me because I came home with a black eye last

night I** he asked in desperation. “No,** replied his wife, tersely; 41 you hadn’t got it when you came home.*'

The wanderer had returned to his home town after many years abroad. 44 There is one thing I've looked forward to," he told a friend, 4 4 and that is to go to the theatre and sit up in the dear old gallery again.'' 4 4 There ’a no gallery nowadays, ' * was the reply. 44 It's called the balcony.'* 44 What's the difference?" 44 Two shillings!"

He hailed a cab and fell into the back seat. 44 Say, driver," he ordered, 44 drive me round the block a hundred times." The driver was startled, but obliged just the same. Bound and round the block they went. And on the sixtyfifth trip, the passenger leaned forward. “Step on it, buddy, 1 * he hiccoughed. “I'm in % hurry."

The captain had been lecturing hi men on their duties as soldiers, ant wishing to find out if they remembere anything, he said to one of there * 4 Now, then, Private Dooley, wh should a soldier be ready to die for hi country?'* The Irishman scratched his head fc a moment; then an enlightening smil spread across his face. 44 Sure, captain," he said, pleasanti: 44 you're quite right. Why should he?

44 Where's the car?" the professor's wife asked the professor. 4 * Did I take the car?" 44 Certainly you did." 44 Well, I thought it strange. When I got out at the post-office, I turned round to thank the man who had given zne a lift, and he wasn't there." At a certain training centre where hairdressing is taught, the pupils are entitled to a free hair-cut or shave at any time. A newcomer had just obtained a check from the instructor for a free shave. 44 Why," he asked an older pnpil, 44 d0 you need a check before you go into the barber's room?" “That's easy," said the other, scornfully. 44 It's so that they’ll know you when you come out."