HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 61, Issue 288, 5 December 1936, Page 9

HUMOUR

A- dapper little man applied for a • 1 separation order to bo made out against i : ' , , 'vvlfe on the ground of cruelty. When | uskedpby..'the magistrate •if- ho could I; p'rckye his case he replied meekly:— •i “ One night I dreamt I won £20,000, [i JAhd: the? following morning riiy wifo |i- killed me for not putting it in L bank before I woko up.”

Two. men were boasting in a tent in Africa. One of them said he could go out and kill a lion. The other bet he couldn’t. ’*l bet you a pound I can,” said the first and went out to do it. Five minutes later a lion puts his head inside the tent and said: “He owes you a quid.”

Granny: “And does your young lawyer liance-write-you nice letters!” “In a legal way, yes. He says I have beautiful eyes, and is constantly alluding to what he calls ‘tnc aforesaid eyes, orbs, or visual organs’.” An Aberdonian went into a grocer’s and asked for a box of Test matches.

“I don't stock them," said tlio grocor. “What kind aro they?" “The kind that last live days!"

Four retired Colonels, having dined well but unwisely, staggered into the card room for a rubber bf bridge. With difficulty tho cards were shuiriea and dealt, Slowly but deliberately the bidding was opened with 3 no bid, countered by 2 no tricks and overcallpd with 3 blind' mice. The fourth, player, throwing his cards on tho table, shouted: “To blazes with you and your conventions; I won’t play."

....-Father, was.on the edge of a cliff, ad.xniring the sea below, the sandwiches ’clutched in his hand. His son approached him from behind and tugged at his coat." Mother says it isn’t safe there," ■said-the-boy, “and you've either got to come awav m* nice nm th« sandwiches. " '