HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 61, Issue 46, 25 February 1936, Page 10

HUMOUR

’ It was in Mount Street, W., at about 1.30 a.m., that two old school-followJ who had been dining noticed a little dog running about in the bewildered way which lost dogs have. "Poor li’l fellow’s lost,” commented one. “Pick him up and see if there’s a name and address on his collar." There was. The address was somewhere in Wimbledon, but the noble fellows never hesitated. They decided .that the lost pet should at all cost 3 bo restored to his sorrowing mistress. It was long and dreary drive, but at last the sulky taxi-driver pulled up outside a darkened house. Much knocking and ringing brought a caretaker to the door. "Mrs. Kerjones!” yawned the functionary. “She did live ’ere, but she loft on Monday. She’s gone to live in Mount Street, in the West-end.”

i 'JL parson who was finishing a round of golf got bunkered at the eighteenth. In the process of extracting his ball he got some sand in his eye. The eye continued to trouble him when he went into the club-house and ordered a glass of milk. When he tasted the beverage he looked sharply at the steward and said: •Ts this milk?” ! “Well, sir,” grinned the steward, * ‘naturally I put a dash of rum in when you winked.”

The teacher had explained the cruelties of Nero and believed he had made an impression. He asked the class, “Now, boys, what do you think of Nero? Do you think he was a good man?" No one answered, The teacher singled out a boy, “Tommy, what do you think? Do you think he was straight?" “Well,” returned the boy after a long pause, “he never done nothin' jto me!' '• <3> <s> <s> <S> The tenant was complaining to his landlord about vermin. , “What would you say if I told you I there, were mice over a foot long in the cellars?" he asked. , “Eats!” was the terse reply,

The talk had turned on intelligent animals, and’some very tall stories had been told, when old Joe chipped in. “Clever animals?" he queried. “It bet none of you ever had a pet to equal my old cat. He was very fond ol cheese. If it was on the table at meat times and he smelt it, he’d come over and beg for a bit. One day it struck me that every time ho’d had a bit of cheese ho wouldn’t wait for anything more to eat, but always - cleared off Tight away. The next time 1 gave him some cheese I watched him go off, and followed him. Do you know what that cat was doingl He was sitting by a mousehole, breathing heavily down it”