HUMOUR

Manawatu Times, Volume 61, Issue 10, 13 January 1936, Page 5

HUMOUR

S —— -| At* ft council meeting there was alßl discussion regarding the typo of milk** ■which should bo provided for school children. _ The chairman of tho health committee made the follow, .g statement: “What this town needs is a supply of clean, fresh milk, and the council should take the bull by the horns and demand it! ’ ’ <s> <s> <S> <B> .The husband and wife had quarrelled As thoy drove along the country road a mule suddenly brayed, “One of your relatives!” asked the husband. “By marriage,” was tho reply.

1 ‘‘Wanted, man to assist diver; must be able to start at once.” When he got to the docks he saw a man working the pumps, and, going up to him, said: “Where’s the boss!” The man pointed to the water and said: “Down below.” Kiley took off his coat and dived in, Coming to the surface, he yelled to the man on the bank: “Has ho come up yet?” “No,” was the reply. Down he went again. The nest time he came up he asked: “Is he still below?” “Yes,” was the answer. “We said Kiley, as he went down the third time, “if he comes up wnlle I’m below, tell him I’ve started ”

Three explorers had no food and only one cartridge. .They drew lots for tho

use of it.

The winner set off, but had not gone far when he was faced by two lions. lie immediately fled back to the tent, hotly pursued by the lions. Just as they made their final spring, he stepped smartly to one side, allowing the lions to burst through tho tent opening.

Quickly he closed the flaps and shouted to his companions: “Get on skinning these two while I look around for a few more.”

<*> <s> <S>

“Now that you are married,” said the bride's mother, “I suppose you will take out an insurance policy?” “Oh, no,” replied the husband, airily. “I don't think she's going to be dangerous.”

The mighty, ..Engines of the liner throbbed ceaselessly.. Tho chief engineer wiped a perspiring forehead as he scowled at the pale-faced young man with the oil-can.

“Look here,” he growled, “you aren't helping me much with these engines, jet I understood you knew something about the game.” “So I do,” stammered the ether, “but on a smaller scale, you know.” “Whit’s your usual job?” “Watch repairing!”