Would Rather he Called Smith

Manawatu Times, Volume LVI, Issue 7062, 23 January 1933, Page 10

Would Rather he Called Smith

SOME STARTLING NAMES

The Browns, Smiths and Thompsons should be thankful for thoir names. How would they like to sign themselves Maggott or Woodenliead—two surnames which are still common? In Bardsley’s “Dictionary of Surnames” are mentioned such unfortunate names as Boervault, Scoundrel, Twaddle, Swine, Gathcrveil, Drinkdregs, Littlebeast, Silley, and Ginman. Sometimes insolvency has been attributed to names. In a list of bankrupts one finds a baker named Shortweight, a fishmonger named Rottenherring, a butcher with tho name ofKatzmeat, and a doctor bearing tho ominous bnrnamo of Gravestone. In England persons possessing queer surnames formed an association recently, presumably for mutual sympathy and support. It is known as the Funinames Club. In the county of Sussex there are Several old families which bear the embarrassing surname of Halfnaked. The name has existed since Norman times, when the first of the line was Baron Walter de Halfnaked. His manor and estate, which still exist, are called Halnaker. It seems almost incredible that persons bearing such a name have not undertaken the ’simple' formality of changing it. Among long names almost everybody has heard of Praise-God Barebones, one of Cromwell’s parliamentarians. He lived in the seventeenth century, when Teligious fervour was introduced into all phases of life. It is reported that his surname was, in fact, spelt Barbone. He had two brothers bearing even more remarkable names. One had been christened Christ-Came-Into-The-World-To-Savo Barbone, and the other If-Christ-Had-Not-Died - Thou - Hadst-Been-Damned Barbone. Tho Puritan practice of giving children Biblical texts for Christian names was fairly common among the early settlers in America. It is officially recorded that a sea captain at that time boro tbo name of Through-Much-Tribulation-We-Enter-The-Kingdom-Of-Heaven Clapp. In the nineteenth century an eccentric man named William Harris was so successful as a sausage-maker that ho was known as the Sausage King. The honour must have turned his head, for he named his three sons William 1., William 11., and William 111., and his three daughters Elizabeth 1., Elizabeth 11., and Elizabeth 111. During the Great War one of tho British casualty lists recorded the death of Captain L. S. D. O. P. F. T.-T. de 0. P. Tolle-mache-ToUemachc. This officer was a mernbor of a family of nine brothers and sisters remarkable for their long, unwieldy names. Tho captain was a son of the Rev. Ralph Tollemachc, and his full name was Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudati Filius TollemacheTollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemaoho. One of his brothers glorified in sixteen Christian names—Ydwallo Odin Ne'stor EgbeTt Lyonel Toodmag Hugh Erchen Wyne Saxon Esa Cromwell Orrna Nevill Dysart, Plantagenet Tollemachc-Tolle-mache. His eldest sister signed herself Mabce Helingham Huntingtower, Beatrice, Blazonberrio Evangeline Vise de Lou Orellana Plantagenet Saxon Toedmag Tollemache-Tollemache. One brother, who was christened with only seven names, had them shortened to plain Leo do Orellana Tollcmache. A solicitor in Victoria, who died a few years ago, was named Pelling Hugh Gough Pigott Stainsby Conant.