SUNSHINE CORNER

Manawatu Times, Volume LIV, Issue 6849, 2 March 1929, Page 14

SUNSHINE CORNER

‘'Can any boy tell me what a tannery is?” “Yos, teacher, it’s a place where they make sixpences.” David was not very well, and, as his mother crept into his bedroom she whispered, “Are you awake, dear?” “No, snorted David, “and the doctor said particularly I was not to be awakened to have my medicine.” Farmer: “What are you carrying on the side of your taxi? Taxi Driver: That is a spare tyre. Farmer: Well, I’ve driven horses for 20 years, and I’ve never had to carry a spare leg for them yet. Grocer: I want a lad who is not afraid of early nours. Boy: That's me, sir. I don’t mind how early you close. ' TeachCrt “Johnny, you are not attending! Tell me. where is Arabia?” Johnny (nervously looking at his geography book): “Fage twenty-one, sir.”

Teacher: “Now, Mary, how do we know that the earth is round?” Mary: Because nobody has ever found a corner yet! ” •“Well, Marjorie, did you have a nice supper at grandmother’s to-day?” “Oh, yes, wo had egg, and bread, and butter, and—and—bee jam.” “Why, what do you mean by beo jam?” “You know, the jam the bees make! ” “Goodness me!” gasped littlo Monty’s mother, as ho came running indoors with his face and hands all blacked. “Keally, I cannot understand how it is you manage to get so dirty.” “Oh, it is quite easy mummy,” replied little Monty quite unashamed. You como with ms down to the coal cellar and I’ll show you.” Say These Quickly. If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot To talk ere the tot could totter, Ought a Hottentot tot bo taught to say ought or nought— Or what ought to be taught her?

Once a tooter who tooted a flute Tried to tutor two tooters to toot. Said the two to the tutor: Is it harder to toot or < To tutor two tooters to toot?” Willie: “Please teacher, what did I learn to-day?” Teacher: “What a ( peculiar question!” Willie: “Well they’ll ask me when I get home.”

Anxious Mother: “What has Baby aono with his mouth-organ? Can lie have swallowed it?” Helpful Tommy: “Blow into his mouth and seo if it plays inside him, Mamma.”

“What happened to the City of Babylon?” asked the teacher. “It fell,” answered Bill. “And what happened to Sidon?” “It was destroyed.” “And what happened to Tyre?” “It was punctured!”

The centre of attraction of a confectioner’s display was an immense sugar tiger, and that it might look as realistic as possible, a pair of brilliant glass eyes, which, cost 2s. each, had been inserted. A crowd of children assembled outside, and, when everything was arranged to tho confectioner’s satisfaction, he stood gazing in silent admiration at his gran'd display. Ho did not notice the entry of a small boy until a smart rap on tho counter announced that his first customer had arrived. “Penn’orth of tiger—but with an eye in it,” demanded tho youngster.

FAIRY FARE .What do fairies breakfast on? I Surely you must know. Sunbeam rissoles, star croquettes, Erittered mists and snow. What do fairies cat for lunch? Clouds and honeycomb, Rainbow rolls and pollen bread, Spread with ocean foam. On what things do fairies dine? Dewdrops broth and toast, Acorn cutlets served with sap, Leaves and gurnnut roast. Oh, I’d simply lovo to stay, For a week or two, In a fairy boarding-house. Tell me, wouldn’t you?

REBECCA. Who slammed doors for fun and perished miserably. A trick that everyone abhors In little girls is slamming doors. |A wealthy banker’s little daughter, j Who lived in Palace Green, Bayswater (By name Rebecca Offendort), . Was given to this furious sp'ort. She would deliberately go And slam the door like Billo ho [To make her Uncle Jacob start. She was not really bad at heart, But only rather rude and wild. She was an aggravating child.

It happened that a marble bust Of Abraham was standing just Above tho door this little lamb Had carefully prepared to slam. And down it came; it knocked her

flat. It laid her out —she looked like that. Her funeral sermon (which was long, And followed by a sacred song) Mentioned her virtues, it is true, But dwelt upon her vices, too, And showed the dreadful end > of one Who goes and slams the door for fun.

The children who were brought to hear The awful tale from far and near, Were much impressed, and inly swore They never more would slam the door As often as they had done before. —-H. Belloc (‘Cautionary Tales’).