A JEST OR TWO

Manawatu Times, Volume LIV, Issue 6810, 14 January 1929, Page 4

A JEST OR TWO

Monotonous Life. —Old Gentleman: “I see that in London a man Is run over every half-hour.” Old Lady: “Poor fellow!" • • • Secret Code— “ What is Esperanto?” “Don’t you know? It’s the universal language.” “Whereabouts is it spoken? “Nowhere.” * * * ’Rah for the Muzzle.— Willie: “Did Mr. Edison make the firs talking machine, pa?” Pa: “No, my son. God made the first talking machine, but Edison made the first One that could be shut off.” • * * Pace That Kills —Broken-down Patient: “Have I a chance in the world to recover my health, Doctor?” Physician: “Well, I’d say that If you give up all intoxicating beverages, stop smoking so many cigarettes, cut out the late hours, lay off the bright lights and try eating some good home-cooked foods, I can make a new woman out of you.”

The Fatal Name. —ln a divorce suit a husband gave evidence that his wife in her sleep called out a man’s name. Which recalls the story of a man who, slumbering, murmured “Mary. He explained in the morning that he had backed a filly of that name at Rand wick.’ ~ A couple of days later his wife said to him: “You know that filly you backed at Randwick! It rang you up on the phone to-day!” * * * The Dogs Higher Up— “So you’re a young man with both feet on the ground, eh? What do you do for a living?” “I take orders from a man with both feet on the desk.” * • * Roped and Branded —Maud: "So you married your employer. How long did you work for him?” • Myrtle: “Until I got him.” * * * Pedestrians, Salute! Teacher: “Now, James, name America’s greatest general.” James (the son of a broker): "General Motors."