SUNSHINE CORNER

Manawatu Times, Volume LIV, Issue 6803, 5 January 1929, Page 14

SUNSHINE CORNER

Jock: So you have changed your laundry. Pat: Yes. So many things used to conic homo missing it’s not really fair. Teacher: Tommy bow many .teeth has a human being? Tommy:. A mouthful. He: What would you want with a new frock? She: How thoughtful of you, of course I’d love a new hat to go with it. Mrs. Tabby: “Hungry are you? Would you like a chop?” Tramp: “That, would suit me well.” Mrs. Tabby: “Well, go round to the back. You will find tho wood ready for chopping.” “Willie, what is the meaning of a taxidermist?” “A taxidermist is a feller that runs a taxicab.” “No, dear. A taxidermist is a man who stuffs birds. Have you seen one?” “Ycssum. Our doctor came to dinner last Christmas, aud tho way he stuffed turkey showed that he must be a taxidermist.” Q. What is the best thing to do in a hurry? A. Nothing. - ■ A motorcar manufacturer had adopted the plan of naming his cars after flowers. “I was thinking of calling my car the Crimson Rambler,” fie told a friend. The friend, who had been out in the new car, replied unkindly. “Why not call it the Virginia Creeper?” “What is a phenomenon, Uncle Biily?” “A phenomenon is a small boy about, your size whe never bothers anybody.” It Stretches. “Now, children, call out some long words to me.” “Peculiarities.” “Good. Another.” “Idiosyncrasies.” ‘ '■ Yes—another. ’ * “Rubber.” “That’s not long enough.” “But you can stretch it.” There were guests at dinner. Charles, aged five, waited long and anxiously to be served, for bis father had some difficulty in carving the chicken. At last, when he received his plate, he had the same experience as his father in cutting his portion, so he turned to his mother and said: “Mother, I know now why they call thorn Plymouth Rocks.” Little Leslie had been dispatched to the village grocer’s and told to purchase dog biscuits for the new pet. He returned half an hour later, and offered his father cightpenec change out of half-a-crown. “Whatl” exclaimed his parent: “Did they charge you all that?” Then he noticed the bag contained assorted cream cookies. “Y'ou see, daddie,” little Leslie explained, ‘/I thought I might just as well get. somethin’ doggie an’ me could both enjoy.” What’s tho shape of the earth?” asked the teacher, calling suddenly upon Willie. “ Round.” “How do you know it’s round?” “Well,’ ’said Willie, “it’s square, then. I don’t want to start any argument.”

WHEN DADDY SINGS When Daddy sings he stands up straight, And growls just liko tho thunder. He holds a paper in. his hands, And folks look on In wonder. When puppy sings he sits quite still, His nose up in the air. And then lie sings so out of tune, It’s very hard to bear. But I don’t have to stay so still If I should want to sing, For I can walk, or run, or jump, And sing like everything! >—Alfred I. Tookc. WISHES. I wish I were a littlo tree That all the birds might visit me. Then I could hear each happy song, And listen to it all day long. The wind would rustic round my leaves, Where Mr. Spider sits and weaves; And I could hear each birdie’s call Without disturbing him at all. I wouldn’t speak a single word In case I scared a little bird, I’d be as still ns still could be, If only I could bo a tree! I’d watch each birdio build his nest A.nd go to sleep in it, and rest. I’d be as good as good can be, If only I could be a tree! —Anna E. Williams. What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer? A- dressmaker sews what she gathers, and a farmer gathers what ho sews.