HOW TO CONVERSE

Manawatu Times, Volume LIV, Issue 6801, 3 January 1929, Page 3

HOW TO CONVERSE

SOME PRACTICAL HINTS. Conversation, wc arc otten told, is a lost art The reason may be that we have got into the way of always being in a hurry, and conversation demands quietness ami leisure (writes “W.C.8.” in the Birmingham ‘Tost’). Perhaps, too, we have Ici't off reading widely and thinking deeply, and therefore we have next, to nothing to say when we meet our friends. Talking is not all that it might be, and most of our encounters with our friends prove lost opportunities, not always because we or they are emptyheaded, but because we do not think in advance of' what w? are goitijf to say. We take no pains to get ourselves ready, but leave everything to chance. Because we meet without preparation wc part without profit. For casual meetings wc naturally can make no provisions; wc speak on whatever subject may arise. The result may or may not be helpful. But when wc arrange a meeting, why should we not decided what to talk about and make the most of the opportunity the encounter gives. There is always something to be learnt from exchanging ideas. Why not get our ideas in order beforehand, settling the points wc want to discuss and the/questions we intend to ask? Possibly we. may at times act to sonic extent on these lines, and decide, when wc are going to meet a friend, to have a chat on some particular subject. But when the meeting is over, we find we have not said half we meant to say. Wc could save oursolves from wasting these precious opportunities by the simple process oi making notes and taking them with us. A host of voices will, cf course, protest that this whole charm of conversation, making it formal and robbing it of that spontaneity which is its verv essence. But need this bo? Wbat lies' behind those brilliant and racey extemporato speeches to which we listen with delight, those witty outpourings of genius which make us rock with laughter? Careful preparation—that is, as a rule, the secret of the pleasure they give—and notes as an aid to memory. Our failure in conversation is due to our neglect of this method. Lho 01 dinary man must think long before he can speak effectively. We must, of course, avoid deserving the complaint that Queen Victoria made against Gladstone, and take care not to speak to a friend as if wc were addressing a public meeting. Conversation, though it is speaking, docs not mean making a speech; by its very nature it cannot bo one-sided, and each must have his turn, or it is not conversation at all. It is here that notes will prove a help. The one to whom we are talking may suddenly go off at a tangent and carry us into regions of thought lar removed from those we had intended to explore. A glance at the slip oi paper in. our hand or up our sleeve will remind us of the points we were in danger of forgetting, and then, like Mr. Pumblcckook, wo can lead, the company gently back to the theme from which they had strayed. Whether wo admit it or not, we are all brain-pickers, and intend to get whatever may be found in other people's minds. A few carefully written notes will save us from losing our chance of increasing our store oi knowledge and ideas. . Practice will develop our ingenuity and enable us gradually to make a word do the work of a sentence; as we become more skilful wo shall use alliteration as an additional aid, while we shall so arrange our proposed subjects that each will lead easily and naturally to the next. Writing, as Bacon says, maketh an'exact man, ana the man who learns the art of writing notes will not be long in learning the art of conversation and turning it to account.