A JEST OR TWO

Manawatu Times, Volume LIII, Issue 6667, 21 July 1928, Page 8 (Supplement)

A JEST OR TWO

No' Peacemaker. —Employe?:,, '‘Sam, 1 nil ear you and Georg© alniost Sain: “Yassah, boss, .we all would ♦a’-had a terrible fracas, only_ there wosn’t nobody to hold us ■ apart.

The Real Crime.— An old;ldris elder, on reaching home, appearedpery ; ms* cpnsolate, and his wife * asisfd what was wrong. , „ “Oh,” he replied, “I vo teltaJee. ■ “Well,’.’ she remarked, “that - needpa bother ye. Ye’ve telt a lee mony a he said, “but I’ve been found Out this time.” - •'

Stare in Their Courses,— The night was’stormy, and the ■ captain a son stood -watching his • ; tn® little vessel. Wishing to consult his chart, the captain said t0,.-the “Here, false the wheel.K: Elb bojback In a few minutes. Steer by that star and you will be all right.” - The boy began to steer, the vessel, and soon got her out of. hep course. When the star appeared at the sterp Instead of ahead he shouted proudly to his father: — ;.-r ~ .... “Come and find me another star, dad! I’ve passed that one!’- - , » ♦ * ■

Too Costly.—“ Going to send ~ yottr •wife away at Christmas?’’ ' “No: can’t afford it.” T “But she is not extravagant, Is she? she was away X spent over a hundred quid.” ' . ' “Not In the least, but last year when

Took Their Tip. —“Be observant, my son," counselled Willie’s father. “Cultivate the habit of seeing and you will become a successful man.” “Yes,” added Willie’s uncle. “Don t go through life like a blind man. Learn’ to use your eyes.” “Little boys who are observant get on much faster than those who are not,” Aunt Jane put in. The youngster took their advice to heart. A day passed and once more he stood before the family council., . “Well,, my son,” said his father, “have you been using your eyes 7” Willie nodded. “Tell us what you’ve learned ” “Uncle Jim’s got a bottle of whisky hid behind his trunk,” said Willie. “Aunt Jane’s got an extra set of false teeth in her dressing case, and dad’s got a pack of cards and a box of chips hid behind Emerson’s Essays in the bookcase.”

- :u The little sneak!”, exclaimed the family with one voice.