Aunt Roberta’s Family

Manawatu Standard, Volume XLIX, Issue 101, 28 March 1929, Page 10

Aunt Roberta’s Family

AUNT ROBERTA’S LETTER. My Dear Nieces and Nephews, I give below the marks for the first quarter of the year (Ist. to sth Competitions, inclusive): SENIOR DIVISION. (Which includes the Intermediate Division) Marks. Remus 24 Daphne Gutzewitz ... ••• ... 16 May Swain ... 'l6 JUNIOR DIVISION. Marks. Aileen Henderson ... ... 28 Blue Eyes - ... ... ... 17 Ronnie Dalefield ... ... 17 Lightning ... 17 Mervyn Dalefield 13 . Henry MacArthur 10 The above indicates that the junior mem. bers are working much harder than the seniors, and I am very pleased indeed with their efforts. , Another order has been placed with the badge maker, who has promised me delivery any day now. After I have posted badges to those nephews and nieces who have ordered them, I will have six on hand. Therefore, will anyone who requires an “Auitt Roberta’s Family” badge, please poet me their shilling without delay. As usual, first come first served. I have a very sorrowful heart, because I have discovered that the little girl who sent in as her “OWN IDEA AND UNAIDED EFFORT” thb fairy story, entitled “The Fairy Queen’s Hat,” copied in almost word for word from the New Zealand School Journal, March, 1927. The penalty is that this child can no longer be a member Of “Aunt Roberta’s Family,” and her name has been struck off my roll. I am very, very sorry, because she is only ten years of age and probably did not realise what'shb was doing. “Nancy” (she omitted her surname) writes: “I am sorry that I did not write before, but I have been so busy. I think that your pago is the be6t in New land.. .1 always look forward to it.” Another “silent” niece—Billy Boy—eays: “I have sadly neglected the page, but, really, I have not missed reading it once. As this is my second year at High School, I am working hard at my lessons. Would you please tell the kind cousin who inquired about me that I am still in the world, and I wonder who ‘he’ or ‘she’ is.” “What a’ huge Family you have, and what industrious children some of them are I would simply love to know little Aileen Henderson. She writes such beautiful stories; they’re so real and human, aren’t they? Please congratulate' Adoma for me. He certainly deserved the prize. Also, please -congratulate Sdverfern and Aileen Henderson for me. Wasn’t . Laurie O’Kane’ a lovely story? I am sure Allen-a-Dale will write a leautifui book some day.” These are the remarks of Buttercup. , . Elsie Abbot says: “Although I no not write, I read the page every week. Nieco Leslie Verry writes: “If you consider me a 'silent 1 member I certainly read the page every week. I think it is excellent, and couid not be. improved. Alien-a-Dale’s story was certainly very fine. ’ “Please congratulate Audrey Drummond on her play, *A 13it of a Tanyle. X think it was very nice. Also please congratulate all other prizewinners.' I think 'logo is a very good writer,”' says Apple BioSsoi* Mervyn Dalefield wishes to tnank May Swam lor her congratulations. Motolkcos (a strange pen-name, indeed) writes: “I am one of your ‘siier.t’ nieces, and I am writing to let you. know my opinnion of your page. I read it every week and enjoy the stories, etc., very much. I think you have some very clever pieces and nephews. Eula Arthur writes very interesting stories, . but I have not seen anything from her for quite a while. I hope she ha 3 not given up sending m entries. Togo and Huia wide . n r JPP n ‘K stories. J think ‘A Holiday Thrill, .by Stalky, last year, was .the most topping story I’ve ever read. I presume Stalky nas turned nineteen, as I have not seen any entries by this writer for ages. Will you pleaso congratulate, for mo the ~ above named, and also other recent prize win"mADELEINE BORRESON, Palmerston North, whose name was ' called” 3th March, lias failed to respond. Madeleine is an old member of the Family and used to send in very fine pen drawings. - A HALF-CROWN PRIZE will be awardod to the niece or nephew ,whose name is included in the following list, who wr-ites the BEST LETTER, saying if they still r“ad “Aunt Roberta’s Family page and are interested in the doings of members, also telling me about themselves. Highly commended and commended marks will also be awarded and don’t forget that when these marks total 30 a 5s special mdze is given. ALL LETTERS SHOULD SiE POSTED TO ME BY NEXT SATURDAY 6th APRIL:—Leo Andrews, N... Invercargill; Mary Burke, Waituna.; Linda Fraser, Lindisfame; Annie McCulloch, Georgetown; George Tait Invercargill; Ella Wilkins, Riverton; Jean Barnard, Waitara; Mary Barnao, Palmerston North; Peter Eastwood, Masterton; Geoffrey Hepburn, Palmerston North; Norms Jensen, Linton; Jack Robertson, Palmerston North. <• Lots of love, - V; ,-Suxcfc.; ENROLMENT COUPON. Cut out this coupon, fill it in, and post to “Aunt Roberta," care “Standard. My name is My age is My Address is My Birthday is I read “Aunt Roberta's Family Page. Signature of Parent, Guardian or School teacher Sent in by “Aunt Roberta’s Family” Badge costs Is (stamps or postal note), MEMBERSHIP iPRIZE OF 10*. A prize of 10s will be given to the girl or boy (whose name is on “Aunt Roberta » Family” Roll) who sends in the most names of NEW MEMBERS by the 31st March next THESE NEW MEMBERS MUST BE SIX YEARS OF AGE OR OVER. EACH ENROLMENT COUPON must be cut out of the paper, and MUST BEAR THE ENDORSEMENT of a parent, guardian or school teacher as to its being authentic. The winner of the prize must secure.at least twelve names. Enrolment coupons may be sent in as they are collected, and MUST BE LEGIBLE. ENROLMENTS RECEIVED. Tony Langley, Walter O’Donpell, lota Hocking, Grace Reynolds, Arthur Ford (sent in by Lightning). . LITERARY CORNER. Favourite verses, opinions of various books and short descriptive passages out of wellknown books will be published in this corner each week. Lightning writes: “I am sending a piece of poetry for the Literary Corner. Mum has copied it out for me. My auntie in Australia has lost her little boy, and she says this poem reminds her of him”j— •

. THE KISS. A rip. in his schoolbag, a smudge on his face, A hole in his stocking, a broken bootlace — His mother says, busy as mothers can be, “Was ever a laddie so tiresome as he?” He’s off now to school, with a slam of the gate, But soon back again, though he knows he .' is late. “Oh, John 1” says his mother. “What else -is amiss?” “I’ve come,” he says, shyly, “to give you a kiss.” Then John’s mother smiles, and quite smooth is her brow. 1 She sings to herself as she tidies up now. All’s well with her world, and, it’s perfectly clear, No one could find in it a laddie more dear. (Contributions on band are getting very low, so I hope nieces and nephews will not neglect to send along copies of their favourite verses, etc. —Aunt Roberta). , “OUR MAIL BAG.” PHYLLIS WINN-: Yes, I do indeed think Aileen is a very clever niece for her age. I will pass on your remarks in regard to the Literary Corner next week. Poor Miko is quita hurt because you passed him by! Thanks for the nice kisses. Write again soon. , WEKA: If you really want a badge I would suggest that you send your shilling along at once, so that you won’t be disappointed.. I am so glad you have written a story for the page. Best wishes. LIGHTNING: I appreciate very much your, interest and help. You are writing better stories now than you did when you first started. Lots of love. • MOTOLKCOS: I am indeed pleased to hear from you—O Silent Niece ! Your letter is most interesting. The joke is good, and I will find a corner for it next week. I should love you to write to me again soon. Best wishes. BLUE BIRD: If all my nieces and nephews, were as constant as you are with their letters, I should have no cause for complaint. I am very fond of stock and asters. Goodness ! 25 pigs seems a large number to me 1 I hope your mother has quite recovered by now. Best love.. ARTHUR KING: I am very pleased to welcome you as a member of the Family, and your name has been put on my roll. Love and best wishes to a little new nephew. FIREFLY: Yes, I confess I am nervous, and I hate being alone in a house. The kisses were much appreciated. Love and best wishes. MERVYN DALEFIELD: Thanks for your promise to try and get some new members. APPLE BLOSSOM: I am glad you think so highly of “Aunt Roberta’s Family” page. The kewpie must look fine. You should receive your badge any. day now, and I am sure you will be pleased with it. You must a busy little iady these days. Lots of love. ETHEL. PROCTER: You are another ‘constant’ niece. I expect mother was very pleased on her return to find the house so nice and tidy. You must bo a splendid little housekeeper. Best love. LES. W. RUSHBROOK: I think the great majority of nieces and nephews would prefer to read the efforts of members of the Family to a sorial story. You must be kept very busy at school these days. Best wishes. LESLIE VERRY: I always like to hear from you. Best wishes. TOPPING: Your work shows promise, so keep on trying. Yes, marks are awarded as set out by you. Love and best wishes. ELSIE ABBOTT: What a lot of lovely kisses' Thanks so much.-v-The nom-de-plumc you have chosen will do very well, £ think. “Pom Pom” is a very nice name for the little kitten. Much love. BUTTERCUP: So pleased to hear from you again. You have 12 h.c. and c. marks to your credit, If you send in entries regularly it will not be long before a 5s special prize will be yours. Give little Mario /and June my love. The kisses were much appreciated. Best wishes. BILLIE BOY: So glad to hear we are not forgotten. Lizzie was delighted with the “invisible” kisses ! Quarter of a mile is a fair distance, I think. Although your verses are very good, I am sorry to say you will not be- abl? to compete for the prize, as your entry does not boar the required certificate. NANCY: So pleased to hear from you, Ni€ce Nancy. Perhaps you will write to me again soon. The kisses were very nice. PRIZE LIST FOR 1929. ■: Boys and girls up to 19 years of age may compete. All entries mu6t be the UNAIDED EFFORT of the competitor, except jokes, riddlers catches, etc. Marks will be awarded as follows — To the winner of any competition 4 marks. To the boy or girl who gains second place, 3 marks. Highly commended, 2 marks. Commended, 1 mark. A record will be kept of the marks gained and at the end of the year, 1929, the following prizes will be awarded: A gold medal to the senior division (or intermediate division), girl or boy, who gains the highest number of marks during the year, 1929. A book to the senior division (or intermediate division), girl or boy, who gains the second highest number of marks during the year, 1929. A gold medal to the junior division girl or boy who gains the highest number of marks during the year, 1929. A Book to the junior division girl or boy who gains the second highest number of marks during the year, 1929. A Gold medal to the girl or boy who has 6hown the best EFFORT during the year, although their marks may not top the list. A book to the girl or boy who has taken the mos~ interest in “Aunt Roberta’s Family” page during the year, 1929. When a competitor gains 30 marks by Highly. Commended and Commended points, a cash prize of 5s will be awarded. These marks are carried forward from year to year. The prizes as above are in addition to the fortnightly cash prizes as set ouj in the competitions. ROLL CALL. Somewhere-in “Aunt Roberta's Family” Pag* will appear next to the words, ROLL CALL, each week the name of a member of the Family. If it is your name that appears, cut out the slip, give the position in this Page, the date of the paper and mail so as to reach “Aunt Roberta” within soven days, when a “Special Prize of 2s 6d will bo awarded. Bth COMPETITIONS. . CLOSING DATE, MONDAY, 15th APRIL, 1929. EACH, ENTRY must be on a SEPARATE sheet of paper (written in ink on one side only), bearing the name, age and address of the competitor. . Each entry and envelope must be marked “Bth Competitions.” Senior Division, 15 years and up to 19 years. Intermediate Division, 12, 13 and 15 years. Junior Division, under, 12 years. A TRUE INCIDENT IN MY LIFE (Suggested by Cornelius): — Relate a true happening in your own life, which you consider would be interesting to readers of “Aunt Roberta’s Family” Page. Senior, Intermediate and Junior Division 2s 6d each. MY FAVOURITE AUTHOR—AND WHY Tell me who is your favourite author, and why you prefer their books to those by other authors., j

OUR MOTTO: " CHARACTER AND PERSEVERANCE ”

Senior and Intermediate Division—2s 6d prize.

Junior Division—2s prize. FRESH FISH ANAGRAMS. Make a fish out of the letters of each of the following anagrams- (1) Lap, ice (2) But, rot. (31 Hop lid n. (4) Also m n. (5) E storey. (6) But nail. (7) Dare sin. Example:- No. 4 is. salmon. Senior and Intermediate Division, 2s 6U prize. junior Division, 2s 6d prize. i • RESULTS OF PREVIOUS COMPETITIONS. HIGHLY COMMENDED ENTRIES. 'V? '*■ “WHAT A SELL;” (By Phyllis Winn, 17 years.) The moon had just risen and was casting quaint shadows over the light-filled hall. Outside all was still exoept for the low talk of a few “odd” men who were taking a “breather”; inside all was youth and gaiety. They were dancing one of the Mazurkas of that time, and were dancing it with an enjoyment which we rarely see at our pre-sent-day dances. Round and round they swirled —men and women laughing merrily —till one began to wonder how .such I ‘pinched-in,” long-skirted , specimens of womanhood could trip araitnd so quickly and lightly and with such grace and evident enjoyment. The spirit of happiness peryaded the air. All were enjoying themselves to the uttermost, and looked as if they had cast away their troubles before entering tbe hall. Especially happy did the impromptu ‘‘orchestra”. look. This consisted of two instruments —a mouth-organ and accordeon, which, ini credible as it may seem, blended perfectly, i The mouth-organist was a short man with I blue eyes, sandy -hair and a prominent nose. As he played ho rocked to and fro, exciting amused comments from strangers. IThe man who played the acaordeon was quite different from his friend and coporformer. He was tall with coal-black hair, finely chiselled features and light grey eyes. While he played, his eyes scanned the dances, and as he saw some amusing incident, hi 3 eyes would light up and a slow smile widen his mouth. This was the last dance of the evening. •Now they were playing the tune for the last time, and the accordcoiiist, Jim Deane, by name, thought of the long walk in the cool night air, and the inviting bed after it. Slowly the dance whirled to a close -and several of the couples were on their way home before very long. Jim Deane and his friend walked part of the wa« f homo with a young married couple who were old friends. More to make conversation than anything else, Jim remarked:‘ “Heard anything about the escaped tiger ?” “Yes,” said the husband. “Didn’t you hear ? A iady says she saw it at Wilmot. Of course, no one believed her—said it was nerves and that sort of thing. But an hour later a man suid he saw it almost at tho same spot as the woman saw it. They had to believe it then. Wouldn’t be surprised if it’s seen over here soon. It’s only two miles to Wilmot.” “Oh, I don’t think so,” replied Jim. “Careless of these circus blokes to let loose animals to spring on • some unsuspecting person at a dark corner, isn’t it?” “Look out it doesn’t spring on YOU!” warned the husband. “Never mind. It’s supposed to have a foot or 30 of chain hanging loose, so you’ll hear it rattle,” consoled the wife. Jim didn’t think any more of it just then, and the conversation drifted to other things. Later on they said goodbye to the young couple, and proceeded on their way. , They lived close together, so they took a §liort-cut across the field. As they walked along they talked of the dance, and Jim related some of the funny things ho hod seen. _ They were walking beside a thick hawthorne hedge when Jim stopped dead, and asked ‘iWhat’s that?” Bill, his friend, listened. Clink, clink, clink! It was the sound of a chain being pulled over tho ground. There it was again—clink, clink, clink! And, listen, what was that other sound? Munch, munch! Something eating! Simultaneously the same thought struck both the friends. “The tiger!” They faced each other, deadly pale. For a moment they gazed at each other, then Bill went forward and put his hand on the fastening of a gate. “Come bn,” he whispered. “It’s longer, but ” Jim’s self-reliance surmounted his fear, and he spoke with a queer note of command. “No!” ho said. “We’ll go and see what it is.” . Clink, clink! There it was again. Bill turned whiter—but he turned back. “All right,” he said. Nearer to the sound they crept. Clink, • clink! Munch, munch, munch! Bill’s hand closed tightly on Jsm’s arm, but Jim shook himself free. He picked up a heavy stick and crept closer. ’ A cloud passed over the moon, but suddenly it came out brighter than ever, and revealed to the two shivering friends, in a gap of the hedge, old Daley’s horse!! Old Daley always put the chain on to prevent the horse going far away. Bill looked at Jim, and Jim looked at Bill, and suddenly they collapsed and laughed till the tears ran down their cheeks. , , . Half an hour later, as each crept to his, bedroom, the stillness of the night was broken by smothered laughter. Next morning Jim was met by a friend, who remarked: “Heard the news? The tiger was captured this side of Wilmot’s last night. What time ? About seven o’clock.” And he wondered why Jim laughed. “THE NINTH LIFE.” (By Eros, 15 yearn.) Crash! “That cat again,” prowled Mr Smcon. “I’ll have to drown it.” “Oh, no, daddy!” said little Elsie, to whom the cat belonged. “Well, that’s the third article in two days,” continued Mr Sincon. ‘ “Give him one more chance, please,” replied Elsie. “All right—but only one, mind,” her father answered, burying himself in the paper. . “You must never, never break anything again,” Elsie admonished tho cat, a little later. He replied by licking his mistress's hand, and purring gently. That satisfied Elsie, and, clasping the forgiven cat in her arms, she went out to play in the backyard. Crash! That was the sound which greeted Mr Sinaon as he came down to breakfast the next morning. He rushed into the kitchen and saw the cat dismally regarding the remains of a beautiful flower-bowl. “Righto!” he said to himself. “I’ll get lid of you to-night.” That night he issued forth with the cat, a bag and some heavy stones. _ “Don’t forget cats have nine lives, Dad,” shouted one of Elsie’s brothers. Arriving at the river-bank, Mr Sincon put ..the stones in the bag, and the cat followed. ‘Vl’ll hold him under the water for three minutes, eight times, and then throw him in the middle of the river,” he muttered to himself. “One—two—three What was that in the bushes Must be a stray dog. Five—six —seven —eight—now, nine. Splash!” “Have you drowned it?” inquired his wife when he returned home. “Yes, I’ve fixed it,” he replied. That night Elsie cried herself to sleep and Mr Sincon dreamt he was being drowned by a huge black cat. During the night Mr Sincon felt something rubbing against his face. When he opened his eyes he glanced instinctively at the clock. It was half-past two. Then he saw something else £ “My hat!” he exclaimed, fo.c the “something” was the cat he thought he hod drowned! As he watched, it vanished.

Suddenly he became aware of a peculiar smell. Something was burning! With feverish haste ho slipped into his dressing gown and put on his slippers. He rushed out of the bedroom and downstairs. The smell seemed to come from the kitchen, so he hurried there. He pulled the door open and saw that the curtains and a pile of papers were alight. Hastily he procured some water in a bucket, and, by pulling down the curtains and stamping on them, and throwing the water on the papers, ho practically extinguished the dames. Another bucketful finished the job. , . • Next morning everyone of the tjincon family was surprised to sift Air Sincon give the cat a saucer of milk. When thoy were told, however, of the night’s work, the cat was made a greater fuss of than ever. “Must have miscounted,” said Elsie s brother, and Air Sinaon was thankful that he had. “THE INVERTED STAMP.” (By Heffalump, 17 years.) Edgar Tarr was not mad. Don’t for a mipute think that. That he was selfish, I will agree. That he was mean and hottempered, I Will also agree. But that he was mad no! / Bike many people he had one small idiosyncrasy, lie would not open letters, the stamps of which were upsiae down, or more than ten degrees out of the vertical. Ho had been trained from birth by a strict mother to always put stumps on straight, and once, while away at senool, he wrote to his parents—and put the stamp on upside down! When he came home for his holidays, though it was two months later, he was given a sound thrashing by his lather, and lived on dry bread and water Therefore, when a man he always refused to open letters that were not stamped properly. But it is time for the hero to appear. Like all heroes, he was handsome, and, also, was deeply in love with a pretty girl called Doris, which, affection was reciprocated. James (that was his name) was Edgar's secretary and was treated very badly by him. He dared not hand in his resignation —although he hau often dreamt of how nobly he would do it—because he knew how hard it would be to find another job, so for Doris’s sake (one can’t live on love) he retained his position. Kdgur— oiig just can’t keep the villain down —was rich, and desired to be richer, and he tried to increase his wealth by buying shares that he thought were profitable. Ho had . given strict instructions to his broker that all letters sent to him must be stamped correctly, but the broker engaged a new office boy and forgot to tell him of Mr Tarr’s idiosyncrasy. The office boy, being in a hurry, put the 6tamp on upside down. Edgar received the letter in due course. “From whom is this? It can’t be my broker, the stamp is upside down. Take this, Air Field, and tear it up.” James, forgetting his manners, stared at his employer. “You haven’t read it, sir,” he ventured. “Look at the stamp, man! Tear the letter up.” James took it and left the room. He tore it in half, and in doing so a piece of paper fluttered out with the name "T. flail, Broker,” printed on it. James picked it up and read: "Buy all the shares you can. Company booming.” > Can you guess the rest ? Your evil mind says: “Now, James, being sensible and disliking Edgar, will keep the letter and will himself buy as many of the shares as he can. Then ho will be rich.” Ah, no! James went to Sunday School when he was young, and had regularly attended the Band ot Hope. He. had even signed the pledge throe times. He took the letter to Edgar. Didn’t 1 say he was the villain? He didn’t even thank James, let alone give him an increase in salary ? Edgar now has three cars, two houses, and his wife is Doris. Aloney is powerful. 1 Boor James! He died yesterday in an opium den. “Is “Honesty the best policy” ? Ask James. “TONY’S WISH.” (By Blue Eyes, 11 years). ' Tony’s mother was very poor. They had to work hard, but in his spare time he went over to the next-door people and played with their cat and her kittens. Ho taught them all sorts of tricks —to sit up and beg when they wanted something to ea6t, to jump through a hoop, and many other things. So it happened one day Tony had an adventure with his cats. It was a holiday from school, and poor Tony was very sad, for the landlord had said that if they could not pay the rent by next Monday they would be turned out of the house. His mother told him they wore going to live in two rooms. As Tony went over to say goodbye to the cats a wonderful things happened. The mother cat spoke and said, “For your kindness to us you can have a lucky cat’s wish.” Tony wished not for himself but for his mother, and it was this; that she might live in comfort for the rest of her life, and that she should not have to work hard again. . Tony said goodbye,' •{or he did not think his wish would come true. To his surprise, however, he found, instead of the fourroomed cottage he knew so well, a lovely house with a beautiful garden surrounding it, and in front of the tire in the sittingroom sat two of the little kittens he was so fond of. Tony and his mother lived very happily in the beautiful home he called “Cat’s Rest.” * , FAIRY’S KITTENS. (By Rosaleen, 8 years). Our black cat, Fairy, had five kittens last week. My brother drowned three, and a few days later dad killed the other two, and threw them over into the paddock. Fairy mewed about for a while, and then seemed to forget all about them. Next day Mummy was sweeping under the sofa, when she saw a jersey on the floor. She stooped to pick it up, and gave a jump when she felt the cat on it. Buss moved away, and Mummy lifted up the jersey when down fell the two dead kittens. Puss caught one in her mouth and looked so sadly at us as Mummy chased her out. We threw the kittens away again. Shortly afterwards . in ' she carn’e once more with a kitten in her mouth and laid it down at Mummy’s feet, and “me-oued” as muoh as to say. What is wrong? Why don’t it move?” My brother took the kitten away and buried the both of them. Fairy is quite contented again now, but I hope she never gets any more kittens, for cats must have feeelings just like anyone else, and it must be awful to have your kittens killed. ONE-ACT PLAYS. “THE COAIING OF THE NEW YEAR, 1929.” (By Judy, 16 years). Characters: The Twelve months. (All dressed according to season). The Old Year and the New Year. The Old Year lies quietly in his bed with all the months gathered around him. December: “Hush! The Old Year is dying.” January: ‘“Goodbye, dear Old Year. Your work is done. The New Year must now fill your place.” December: “Listen ! I can hear the bells softly ringing! The New Year is born.” January: “The Old Year has gone to be with the countless years before. Wo need not mourn over him. We must welcome the coming of the New Year.” February: "Well spoken. Go forward and welcome New Year, 1929. I will follow you.” January walks softly- closely fol-

. The others stay I°' TSS/IS-s a fonvard to greet them. „b here you are dear New v JanUa Mortals have wiited for you long, buTwe are first to y° u The New Year . Lea February, others?” .Mourning over the Old February: Mo V r ? ”? ere the only ones Year. January and I were uie who did not stay. “r ea d me to them. The New A. ear: t | o other months, They all «'alk across to tho who are still roun mourn you so? The New Yeai . ”* ■ over me when I hope you Will notjn the N Year Month. m Year. Your words aie wise. llr . have The New Year: Come be-’ your work to do. January, y 6»" evea n °w- [u , dances across the order - • Curtain. GRANDPA’S BIRTHDAY. (By Edith Cranton, 13 years). ibiu™»xs t” hi. 0 says: ‘‘Well, we all wish you very happy birthday. ..i » G P • “Thank you, my children. , Mary: “Does little Daisy know how olu iS “Es, Danpa is eighty-fee.” They all clap and sing:— . , “Hurrah! Grandpa is e.ghty-three to-night, 1 ; i;„u*'~- ■ He sings so gay and stops so light. He fills the hours with talk so bright Until it’s time to say goodnight. Maud: “Tell us a story, Grandpa. Chorus: r .“Yes, do, please. G.P. : “Well, children, it is very many, years since I was young and little you. When I was your age my mother wore crinolines, and my father wore lace at his neck and sleeves, and went about in a funny four-wheeled thing caUed a phaeton. In those days, my dears, - there were no motor cars or aeroplanes or pictures or swimming baths, and we were very happy without them, too.” Willie: “Grandpa,'wouldn t you like to have a birthday like this every day? I would.” , ~ G.P. : “I’m afraid, my boy, wo would, soon get tired of so many birthdays, and, besides, we would get old too quickly. . Betty enters with a wreath, and, going up behind Grandpa, places it on his head. They all form a ring round him.and sing: “Now we have crowned him, now we have crowned him. . Now we have crowned him with bright flowers. Yes, we -have crowned him, yes we have crowned him. Given him a birthday crown.” G.P.: “Aly dears, you make me feel quite young to-night.” Jack: “Dance for us, then Grandpa.” G.P. : “My boy, I’ve quite forgotten the art; but form ring around me, all of you, and I’ll try to break through.” After a good romp, Grandpa manages to break through the ling, and trots out of the room, saying, “Godnight, Goodnight, my dears,” while the children follow closely at liis heels. ROLL CALL.: Alfred do Reya. CRISPIESUncle (feeling Tommy’s head) : Yes my boy, I think this bump is a bump of inquisitiveness. . Tommy: It is! I was looking into Percy Smith’s desk and fell down. Green: What are you running for? Brown: There’s a lion broken loose. Green: Which way did he go? Brown: Well you don’t think I’m chasing him do you? Old Gentleman: And why are you not at school, my boy Boy : Because of sickness. Old Gentleman : Who is sick ? ' Boy: Well, the teacher is sick of me, and I am sick of school. »•'.*** Little Willie, had been to the Zoo, and on liis return home his mother asked him what he had seen. “There were monkeys, and birds, and elephants,” said Willie. Then-he added excitedly. “And I saw. a horse with a football jersey on.” * » « * * Departing Guest: Have you a moneybox, Bobbie ? Bobbie : No, but I have a note case ! * * * “How’s ’Erb getting on with ’is violin, Mrs .Jones, “Oh very badly; the new pawn-broker at the top of tl;e road won’t let ’im go there to practise.” * * • » * First Flea : Where will you send your little son when he grows up? Second Flea: Oh, I suppose he will go to the dogs like his father! Hank: Why are your socks on inside out? Bank: Aly-feet were hot, so I turned the hose on them. Billyhs motlier sent him to the hospital doctor, with the following note: “Please do something for Billy’s face; he has had. it for a long -time and it is spreading.