CORRESPONDENCE.

Manawatu Standard, Volume 9165, Issue 9164, 14 March 1910, Page 6

CORRESPONDENCE.

FRANK MORTON'S LETTER.

(To, the Editor.) Sir,—When Frank Morton isn't hold ing forth on that conversational god. the weather, or on cookery book litera ture. he is boring the public with detail* of his private life, or is engaged m telling Maorilanders the different kinds of conceited idiot they are. YVhen p°°" ley wishes it to be understood that lie is of opinion that a man is a liar, or J free-lunch grabber, or something equally provocative of fighting, he always states that he is simply repeating what his uncle had said. Dooloy must have learnt this side-stepping act iron: ,L< rank Morton. For when Frank wants to be particularly nasty, without risking po» aible effects, he invariably lets it l>e known that' he's merely reciting something said by a friend from bpecwah or some other un-getatable the bye. Frank's a whale on friends. lie is bound to gift them with brains, fame, or motor-cars.) In Saturday s "Standard" Frank wanted to tell tie women of Maoriland that they had the intellects of rabbits, the conversational abilities of cockatoos, that in most things other than plumage they wen.' peacocks, and that morally (hey were none too straight. Frank also wanted to malce known that Maoriland scenery was as beautiful as the mechanism of a pot iwi. (Of course. Frank made his inevitable friend suv all this.) Frank Morton lias held forth in this wise before. It has frequentlv struck me that if a mop could speak it would talk muchly as Frank does. Its utterances -would be limited to what it had mopped up. Something of what Frank lias mopped up has no doubt got into his Saturday nigln r> screed. "Frank is great on French literature. The most deplorable thing, fo h'_s way of thinking, about flooded I'aris i> the loss of books—the sort that I'rank mops up. From Villiers de 1 Isle-Adam (his name v.-as really Villiers by the -vrav) Frank no doubt mopped up the notion of an ideal woman; one That made of the New Zealand brand very small potatoes. Villiers' idea was a machine-made female that with iho aul -of a screw could be made to dispense love, devotion, caprices, and every perversion and vice at, the will of the ■operator. Frank's disparaging remarks on New Zealand scenery were probably influenced by the mopping up of Baudelaire's tin and glass landscapes. It s a wonder Frank didn't want to back Turner (not Bob), as did Oscar Wilde, to knock out Nature, any weight, in a landscape production encounter. l< rank also had somcihmg to say abom boxing on Saturday night. On two previous occasions he had remarks to make on the same sport. The first time it Mas the old stereotvped blood-saruratcd-glove kind of thing.' The second inspiration was the result of seeing for the first time an actual glove contest, and it ma do Frank say. in effect, that glove contests were of such a strenuous nature that only writers of alleged verse_ and curates in hammocks were physically fiited to indulge in rliem. Nov/ I'rank says that Inglis, the. boxer, should be hanged, and if you told FranK that Inglis doesn't deserve hanging so much as did Villon, the reply would probably be the Podsnapian (and characteristic) one of Haw! And the Maw would be repeated if it wore suggested that Inglis is a- cleaner thinking man than ever Verlaine. Villiers. Barlx-y. the rest of the French degenerates, beloved bv Frank, ever know how to be; and. if it's wanted, a hunk of Morton's English Swinburne may be thrown in. These superior individuals, such _as W ainew right, the forger and poisoner, who write of the "lower orders" as if they were door-mats (as does Morton). and who cry out (as does Morton) for "more maccaroni and champagne and less boxing," arc so loaded with the ego-mania and their own nervous degeneracy that "they can only see in the boxer's fine physique and contempt of a few hurts the lack of the something special that they themselves possess in the way of peculiarly beautiful dispositions. Arid when Frank Morton writes of "the res-

pcctable persons concerned in the promotion of public boxing in Wellington." and alludes to their "whines" and "shuffles," this writer rises to remark that he will go down to Wellington and chew the boot of any member of the Wellington Boxing Association _ found guilty of loading his gloves with pig iron.' But this scribe would not take on such a risk with Frank Morion when that gentleman is "dealing with" an assistant at the Parliamentary Library, as he did recently in his column of the "Standard." There are worse phases of brutality than boxing.—Yours, etc.. THE JOLT.

A DANGEROUS ROAD

(To the Editor.)

Sir, —Please mention in your paper the condition of the Railway road, where the roadmen have just completed a concrete culvert, but have left the road in a fit condition for traffic. The culvort is situated near Mr J. C. Murray's property. who rendered valuable assistance to a pair horse lorry last night, and this morning to a big motor-car, which got "stuck in the mud," but ho received no thanks whatever for his services. I hope the Council will see. to this matter immediately.—Yours, etc.. VISITOR MAKING A SHORT STAY IN BUNNYTHORPE. Bunnythorpe, March 12,. 1910.