News in Nutshell.

Manawatu Standard, Volume IV, Issue 127, 28 April 1884, Page 2

News m N utshell.

An exchange tells of , a young ladj who, after a happy marriage of six month* on being asked if she was much troubled with cold' feet, simpered hesitatingly, and with simplicity replied, ' Ye-yea, bat — they're not my owh;' ■■ f ' > 'James, do" you love your sister P' ' Yes, sir.' ' Well, show me how yoa We her.' The boy stood, still, not knowing what to do. • James, how do I express my lore tor your mother ?' ♦ Oh, you give her some bank notes bat I ain't got any.' - From 62 acres of vines m the Eurun* deree district Australia, m favorable s?a* ports, £2,400 worth of wine has been pro* duced at an expenditure of £500, Clear profit, nearly £30. an acre. The Scat shipment of wool from MeU .bourne to America was made m 1867, when 1,2 J0 bales were forwarded. The shipments for 1883-84 amounted to 14,836 bales. The highest prices realised for wool m the Melbourne market last season were— "For extra superior snpw-'vhite, hot» water washed, 9s 6|d 5 and -2a for scoured. The, quantity of wool, both of Horns production and imported, placed on the English market during: the l&3t twelve months, was 1,962j96'4 biles, equal to 628 ; 230,5151b5. Some of 'the farmers m the Tnapalca district are resorting to the plan of cut* ting their crops for chaff, as .they fear it will be impossible for thorn to ripen before the frosts set "m. A Melbourne man recently entered a bookseller's shop m Sandhurst, and quite unexpectedly l made the a bid for the place. Within an hour the cheque was signed and the transaction con pie* • ted.. ;. . It is estimated that, at the present rate of progress of missions m, China, the next 4.0 years will report 26,000,000 communicants and l,00),000 adherents m the Middle Kingdom, The lite Roman Catholic Archbishop of Edinburgh left £89. Ail bis large re* venues were given to thepmsh poor. .' Now, darling, will you grant me one favor, before I go !' ' Yes, George, I will/ she said; drooping her eyelashes and (retting her lips m shape. ' What is the favor I can grant you V ' Only a little song, at the piano, love. I am afraid there ia a dog outside waiting for me, and I want to scare him away.' At the Play.-*-' Look here, the seat you ■ have given me is only fit for a dog.' 'Why, what's the matter with it?' inquired the usher ; ' it's one of the^best Beats m the bouse.' * That may alH>e,' said Fusticus, •but it* a doft's seat for all that. Look at the number;; that proves it — X 9.' (/^ the usher tell m a death-like swoon, W barked his nose). ' T A fashionable young .^nan had acquired considerable fame as.* bore on the violin. ' One night, at, a social gather* ing he announced that , he was going to send for a violin. and draw n few of Beethoven'a sonatas out of 'it. as it were. To his amazement' aU the gentlemen present volunteered to go for the fiddle, and up to date none of them have got back with it. . V \ . An old toper arraigned for drunkenness and disorderly conduct asked the court if be might have something to relieve hit thrbat,;asit waii so dry he could hardlr # B peak. An ofilcer, filled a glass with ice* water and jfaase'd 'it to him; He took a mouthful,. iSpat it out, and, with an ex* pression of alarm, exclaimed : * What'f this he's given p&t'^ What do you sup* pose it is?' 'said the Judge. f l don't know + your Honor/., hqpelessly returned the prisoner,'' I njnver talted anything l|k« it before mmy life, iIt is a Mississippi man who pots it thus :— ' At the ■■ earnest solicitation of those to wham 1 owe >money, I have oon* sented to .-become, a. candidate for the county treaauierahip.' ,