THOSE HATS.

Marlborough Express, Volume XLV, Issue 59, 10 March 1911, Page 3

THOSE HATS.

TO THE EDITOR

Sir, —I ir.ust crave a little of your apace to refute' the' statements made by some of the niiile sex. I would hare written sooner, only I thought some, abler pen than mine would take it up. I am sure it is very amusing to read some of the statements made by some of these bare-faced youths, who, I am sure, are not gentlemanly. Fancy the heroic deed of trying to get off some of their very weak oratory against a few young ladies who got to church to worship God, and not to criticise those in front of them. Some of the suggestions given by these would-be orators would work well if tried on themselves. For instance, the pulley system. What's the matter with putting the rope around them and hauling them up above the hats? This would serve two purposes. It would do away with the smell or tobacco, and would also bring these heroes before the public ej'e, as I am sure their intelligent faces should not be lost sight of. In the second epistle to the womsn the author sees all sorts of things, what with artificial fruit and stuffed birds, and feathers. This man had evidently

partaken of too much stuffed bird for dinner, and in his usual church sleep bo was troubled with a, terrible nightmare. • Fancy comparing a trimmed parasol with *a. decorated worship ! His imaginative powers must have been terribly shattered. Another of these scribes talks1 of the heroism of the writers? lam very sorry for their heroism. They'attack a few young ladies, and haven't the courage to sign their names., Another suggestion I would like to make would be to procure at least three high chairs for, these budding oratcrs. By this means they would bo above everybody else in reality instead of .only in , their minds* One of these afore-nientioned gentry complains of haying1 to' twist his neck in all directions to get a look, at the preacher. He should be very pleased his neck was not as weak as his eloquence, or it may have ended tragically. I have often thought that some oi these men have over-stepped the mark with fashion. What with their tight trousers and narrowbrimmed hats, not forgetting their clean-shaven faces—they often remind one of a sunflower gone to seed. In conclusion. I would just like to advise these wielders of the quill to go to Church with one object, that is to worship God; then they wouldn't criticise other people who go for that purpose

ONE OF THE HATS