A BORN EDITOR.

Marlborough Express, Volume XLIV, Issue 57, 12 March 1910, Page 6

A BORN EDITOR.

The son of the editor of the Weekly Ripper, being disinclined to attend school as regularly as his father wished him to do so, his pater had to severely admonish him on this account.

"You must attend school regularly, my boy," said the fond parent, "or you will never rise to be a. great man, you know." "Like you, father?" asked the boy, simply. "Er—yes, my son. If you don't learn to read and write, you can never-—cr —wield the pen that is mightier than the sword . You can never be an editor and follow in your father's footsteps, you know. Now,

what would you do, for instance, if your paper " came out full of mistakes?" . ... , The boy looked up into the editor s face with simple, child-like * innoG6HC6 r "Father!" he said', solemnly, "I'd blame 'em on the printer!" And then the editor of the Weekly Ripper fell upon his son's neck, and wept tears of joy—for he knew he had a successor for the editorial chair! WHAT "MIGHT HAVE BEEN. 'Are you aware, of any mitigating circumstances in"your case?" asked the magistrate of a negro convicted of stealing a coat. "Yas, sah, lots of 'em. If I had time judge, I could talk to you for a week on dat subject. "If you know of any mitigating circumstance, you can state it." "Yas, sah: I'll tell you ob one right now, sah. How easy would it hiab been for me to bring my wife and family inter disgrace and misery, sah, by stealing dat coat! But I didn't do it, sah; I remained single, I never married, sah! Anuder mitigatin' circumstance am " "Officer, remove the prisoner." HE KNEW, RIGHT ENOUGH. The meek-looking individual was complaining to the doctor of internal pains. The doctor examined him all over, and then said, in his most serious tone: "My dear man, I regret to tell you that you have appendicitis." "I think not, doctor," said the meek-looking man. "I am afraid the symptoms are undeniable," went on the doctor. "There is not much doubt in my mind that you have appendicitis." "But I am certain I have not," reiterated the meek-looking one, with conviction. "My dear man," said the doctor, impatiently. "Allow me to know what I am talking about. I don't believe you even know where your appendix is." "Oh, yes, I do, doctor," was the unexpected reply. "It's in a bottle in Dr. Brown's surgical museum." WOMAN'S WAY NOT BEST. The observation of human nature proceeds under advantageous conditions on the street car. "Really," said the lady with the beehive hat, "I insist." "No, dear," protested her companion, whose hat was nearly as great in diameter as a cart wheel, "you mustn't. Please let me. I have the change here .Let me see, I wonder— " "But you paid for me last time. I have the money all ready. Conductor, can you change a note?" "Now I shall not permit you to have that broken. I have some change

all ready, if I can only find it. Dear me, I wonder what I " "It's all right. I want to get this note changed, anyway. I wonder where I put — " "No, no, really you mustn't. I thought I had the change all ready. I must have lost a penny of it somewhere. But I have a sovereign that "

"Did you say that you had a penny?"

"Yes."

"Well, I have one, too, so I'll pay for you next time." "No, you shan't do so. I shall insist." '

Then each handed out her penny, and the conductor put the coins wearily away.