BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XLIII, Issue 269, 15 November 1909, Page 5

BRIEF MENTION.

Idleness should be enthroned, and Industry crowned in her stead.

The blighting ©£ love'i .young dream. Pathetic advertisement in an Auckland paper: "Wanted to sell, engagement ring (five rubies), almost new."

"Last, but not leased," as the builder said of the house at .the end of his new row when it found no tenant. ■"

: ' 'You are very precise about the date. Do .you keep a diary?" Witness: "Yes, we milk sixty flows."

Nov. 14—Born.: Benjamin Hoadley, Bishop of :Bangor, eminent Whig prelate, 1676; Sir Chas. ' Lyell, •geologist, 17,97. .'•■>:'-. v 3>ifid; I>n ; J«tm &BeKeßombie r ■'pllysiciian, and jnoral writer^ 1644;

.;.-''.SKfe*,.-.-ll^Bom:,-.■.: William?''Pitt, gisat'; Earl of Chatham; .1,708; Win. Herschel, astronomer, i 17^&; Rev. James Scholefield, scholar and. classic editor, 1789. ; ©sied: John Kepler, great astronomer, 1630} Christopher Gfeack, composer, 1787. ; Miss Novice'"' (about 'to sing): "What is your, favourite air, professor ?" Professor: "Fresh' air—and plenty or it- Good, evening."

The best of the Waimate: Plains land is-now 'quoted-at from. £45 to £50 an acre.

It cost one station- near Taihape £300 last year to clear'-the_ place of Ga'ifomian thistle*'

'•'Begorra," said Bridget, as she opened a bottle of champagne for the first time, "the fool that filled this quart bottle must V put in two quarts instid ay waii."

Many members who claim to be of the aristocracy of intellect are not fit to be the custodians of the. moral welibeing of a calf.—Mr. T. E; Taylor, M.P.

Mistress: "A penny for your thoughts, Nora." Cook: "That's just what I was thinking of." Mistress: -"Explain. '; Nora.' Cook: "AVhy, ma'am. I was thinking of a •copper.'." : .. '

In .certain parts of Switzerland all burials are undertaken by the Government, without respect to wealth or position

The strange phenomenon of a "white rainbow" was observed recently in the south of England and in the Midlands.

First Venerable Man: ."I met old Bill James just now, and lie had the assurance to tell me that he felt as fresh as a two-year-old." Becond Venerable Man: "Likely he meant a two-year-old egg."

The sum of £174 was recently paid for one penny.- ■ The penny was of the time of Wiglaf of Mercia, and dated A.D. 825.

I "Since we're; living in" the eomttry.. litTfekke Jong walks for my coxnplexfen; dear." ,''Yes., - That's the: worst <of:-.~Iiving in the- country— ttie chemist's' shop is always so far away!'^

I love women I do not believe in them'acting^ as lunatiqs.'* Mr Wharton, Warrington revising barrister, in reply to a suffragette.

Nurse: "Yes, we kept you alive for three weeks.on milk punch and brandy." Patient': "Just my luck, and I was unconscious all the time."

An applicant for an old age pension in Victoria has twenty-five children living. The old man, Avho lias been married twice, is 71 years of age. ■

"I notice that you always sit at -your wife's left, Mr Meggs." "Yes," frankly replied Mr Meggs; "that's the side her glass eye is on."

"Nothing conduces more to the happiness of manhood than to have food served up in a digestible and attractive form."—The Lord Mayor of London.

A new edition of Wesley's Journal in six volumes, including many diary entries in a carious form of shorthand, which has taken the editor years to decipher, is to be issued at intervals spread over two years by the Methodist Publishing House.

The Bachelor: "Is'it true that you are an advocate of woman's rights?"

The Spinster: "Yes." The Bachelor: "Then you believe that overy' woman should Lave^ ; a vote?" ■ ' The Spinster: "Oh, no; but I believe that every woman should have a voter."