IN THE OLD DAYS.
SPECIALLY WRITTEN FOR THE MARLBORO UGH EXPRESS BY
J. HEARD
FOURTH SERIES
AN AMUSING INTERLUDE. In turning from the above sad thesis (the massacre) to one that I hope, will be somewhat exhilarating, I have to state that some of the disappointed office seekers in 1861, to whom I referred in my last article,' enacted a \peculiar sort of comedy, as they became f suddenly transformed from private individuals into public play-actors. On the ground of economy they obtained a cart (that some ill-natured persons said was not paid for) on which ; was painted the almost ominous announcement: " Wanted—Employment, sinecures preferred." " The cart, in the course of its peregrinations, got capsized, one wheel being some distance in the mud and the other spinning round with riders oii the end of the perpendicular axle. This .„ occurred in a "swampy spot, a short distance from Blenheim, and not far from Hyde's Hotel, which at that time was a square-looking mud building. The driver, a lazy-looking fellow, now and again called out " get on," to some hapless imps,'while others seemed as if preparing for a dance in the^mud, but the most mirth-provoking figures of the troupe were two clowns who had gone mad, the eldest of whom raved about treap<>n . and conspirators, and said he'.'vras slavedriver general \o the Bashaw of Tripoli. When the upset occurred the prima donna and her hand maid were soon rescued from the mud and placed on seats resting on the circle of the wheel above ground: The first-named lady was adorned with gilded badges which, of course; were only illusory, bearing the inscriptions " Engineer-in-Chief, " Assistant-En-gineer," "A good C. E. may come and see me," while her companion, who was a very plain damsel, was decked out in a few dog-tickets and cattle brands. The eldest clown averred that this homely maiden was persecuting him with her love, while he considered hiniself the only suitable; match for the prima donna, and made violent love to her. But as often as he attempted to seize her the wheel was moved a little round, and she thus eluded his grasp. Becoming frantic to win the lady, he jumped upon the - circle of the wheel equa-distant from the two ladies with his face towards the object of his ambition and his back towards her maid. Some wags of the company entered at onceanto the joke, and set the wheel rotating. The crazy clown now thought himself on horseback, and ■by his.whipping and spurring and jerking up and down and seriously earnest capers, set the others with fits of laughter. John Gilpinlike he had a broad* belt round his \ middle on which the words "good salaries," "no land grabbing/ ap- ,■ - peared on the front, while on the back of the strap were inscribed the words "£1 per week." From one side of this decorated belt was suspended a , piece of a spirit level taken from a broken theodolite that had been picked up on the plain after the "natives, had sent the surveyors off. To this was fixed an old battered pewter pot. which had done duty at Renwicktown years before, containing the abominable fluid ejected by the cuttle-fish. This was labelled " Hxxxxxxxxx's cordial." On the other side, as a make weight, hung two tattered volumes intitled respectively "Nat's on Engineering," " Joanna Southcott on Pregnancy." Under great excitement he endeavour.cd to" coax, the prima donna to take a dose of his cordial, which he said would do her much good. He begged she would accept him, if it was only for a j little while. in tne iiiidst- c, uicse ■entreaties ho would leek wistfully,'over his shouder to the girl in the dogtickets, saying under the sour-grape-rejection fit, "I won't have you by .whomsoever offered." „ Both were equally out of his reach and both disdainful. The derisive shouts of laughter *of the bystanders he replied to by spurting on them some of his cuttlefish fiuid. To still further distract him one of the stagemen, a spryshaver, with spectacles oil nose, who. didn't lok as if he gorged himself with roast beef and plum pudding every day of the week, seized hold of the chair with the inscription .." emoluments of office" carved on the back, and held it out with his * tongue in his cheek compassionately^ inviting the excited wheel jockey to rest himself in it, but evidently intended* if the offer were accepted, to slip away the^ chair and so Let the poor creature fall souse over head in the mire. Another of the gang, a natty little chap, threatened to warn the excited clown of the intended trick when he of the spectacles •up with his foot and said "I'll kick you if you do it." There were all the qualifications requisite for the most ' outrageous burlesque, but at this* moment a policeman hove in sight, and all hands, as the Yankees •ay, skedaddled. The cart, or what was left _of it, was >. ultimately sold by auction for the benefit of him it most concerned by an auctioneer named Laurence. Marlborough • has been well to the fore in much. She can boast of supplying the Colony with one Speaker, two deputy-Speakers, and four ministers, but in theatres no town or city ! • ever had placed upon its boards'any- , thing approaching the extraordinary performance which I have endeavoured to describe. Even Thespis, the ancient Athenian who performed on a waggon in B.C. 534, never equalled the Nelson C.Ei.'s, who, with their eldest clown, visited Blenheim for sinecures. In all civilised countries public demonstrations are held and given by the inhabitants in honour of the arrivals and departures of great personages, although in different ways. For instance, the Yankees talk upon everything, the Spaniards sleep, the French dance, the Germans smoke, the Russians bomb,- and the Englishman eats, but th© office-seekers from Nelson entertained themselves and the townsfolk by performing in a swamp. i REPLY TO ~MR. HUDDLES!ON. In your issue of the 6th instant another letter appears signed H B Huddleston. After some trashy nonsense about "the gold of truth," and " the tailings of error," he says " my last letter must evidently have reached its mark, as it meets with scholarly abuse." Mr Huddleston again unwittingly exposes his ignorance. A letter may reach the person to whom it is addressed, but no one excepting Mr Huddleston would talk about a let-
ter having reached it mark. A stone from a sling, a shot from a gun, or an arrow from a bow might reach its mark, but a letter, bah! A schoolboy of the 4th Standard would know better. If, however, he had expressed his meaning in accordance with grammatical rule its falseness would be equally apparent. Instead of "scholarly abuse" it was sound" advice*. I told him out of kindness not to attempt the use of figurative language in consequence of his ignorance, and ho is so ungrateful as to call that advice "scholarly abuse." He follows this tip by saying "so proving that I had scored a bull's-eye.'' This goes along exactly with his letter that "reached its mark." He has acknowledged that he has " trespassed on the valuable space " of a public newspaper. I would strongly advise hin\ not to " trespass" in a similar way again. He says, "it is regrettable that an educated man should prostitute his talents." 'It is sad to know that he allows himself to stoop, to such base detractions and jump at such vain conclusions. When he "is brought face to face with truth he fleeth as a shadow, and continueth not for—
While others toil with philosophic .force, His'puerile folly runs a devious course. Hurls at sound sense mixed notions in
a lump, And gains grotesque conclusions at a jump.
He tries to show that my statement respecting the applicants' for'qffice is incorrect, and brings to his assistance the name of W. L. Wray. This W. Long Wray waVa C.E., of Nelson, and in true Nelsonic style got what cash he could out of Marlborough, an act which no doubt Mr Huddleston extols him for, and regards him as jiot only a capital C.E., but also a famously cunning fellow in finance. I have alrealy told your readers how the clever W. Long Wray hoodwinked the Marlborough Provincial Council by paying a visit to Picton, attending a meeting of the Council, saying that if the Government would let him have £1000 he would go to England, and could form a company with a capital of £100,000 to make the Picton and Blenheim railway, and would place his Nelson pro-, perty in the hands of the Government as security for the £1000. He succeeded in getting the money, but no company was ever formed. The C.E. went to England for his own pleasure, and took care to remain there to the day of his death, having strong objections against faying down his bones in this " land of exile." Hisf property was subsequently sold by auction and realised about £400, he having got by his cleverness £600 of the public money.' Mr Huddleston says, speaking of what he;calls the "Dun Mountain mine," "Mr W. L. Wray being the promoter." Yes, W. Long Wray was the promoter of the Duri Mountain Gopper Minirig Company. Mr Huddleston goes on, " those who know anything about the Dun Mountain mine." I now inform Mr Huddleston that I know a gcod many things about it. I know that'it was a failure, and also that W. Long" Wray,.'.being,.the promoter, it was about;as profitable to tho shareholders as his . pretended' atte to promote the;Picton and Blenheiih Railway Company (as lie called «he phantom) was to the gulled people of Marlborough. The only thing W. Long Wray promoted successfully was [himself, yet Mr Hudjleston holds up W. Long Wray to the public view to convice^your readers that my statements are " childishly amusing." The loss of their money by W. Long Wray was not;" childishly amusing iT> to the Marlborough people, though it might "be to Mr Huddleston. In reintroducin W. L. Wray to the Marlborough pubjic Mr Huddleston gives another instance of "the engineer hoist with his own petard.". He overlooked the fact that I could supply this (to him unsavoury) information respecting his friend W. L. Wray, Mr Huddleston can now say with Sir A. Aguecheek, "an had I known he was. so cunning of fence I had seen him damned ere I had fought him." Mr Huddleston says that my article, or, as he put sit, "contribution," is "so pyrotechnic in its character as to lead to the conclusion that he (myself) discharged it with- all the ammunition ; he could command." This is another specimen of gross ignorance. He uses the word pyrotechnic' along with ammunition. No analogy exists between pyrotechnics (which means fireworks) and ammunition. No one but he would, say that if a man discharged pyrotechnics—fireworks (an act generally performed for amusement)—that it would "lead to the conclusion that he would discharge all the ammunition he could command." The one is as tar from the other as the east is TrOl?j west" He 9 uotes from the f Jackdaw of Rheims with much gusto, thus furnishing another proof thatLittle minds will little thoughts conI tain, And little genius love. a.little strain.
It were well for Mr Huddleston to accept my advice, not <' scholarly abuse " and try to find a cure foi< his cacoethes scribendi, and to abstain trom. rushing into print with false premises for any work he may rear upon such will quickly crumble in pieces. The passer-by will laugh at the babel-like work and its author, and while pointing the finger of scorn, will say, this man began to build' but was not able to finish." I repeat it is crass ignorance to suppose that the discharge .of pyrotechnics has any connection with the discharge of ammunition and it is folly "to conclude" that 1 have concluded my account of the "recollections of the old clays" not, as he erroneously states-it to be the history ©f separation," till he he knows that it is concluded. In regard to himself and his letters he says my contribution" ne sutor ultra ciepidam. His "contributions" have te^S-™?^ be^ als6 'and are tliere-to-v ie^ ted 1 b7 all S of true hiswf" + s solllo(3»y should be gui iam .judicatus sum and condemnatus. He tries to reduce my writings to the level I f ?f n fey a misnomer, and talks about my contribution" and his s^ nY lhU£-° n'l h& if ** ™c nece"saiy for him to contribute. This ™r C°b^ e I b i is easil-y bashed ™?\?} c ™? df esome quidnunc has no right to interfere with the business or- others. His contributions are not only not required, but are in themselves a nuisance. In all his caviling he has never once dared to challenge one of my figures, although I have in-
vited him to do so if he can. To prove a figure to be incorrect would be infinitely better than all his carping. In his attempts to mislead others he misleads himself. His eyes have become so obstinately closed to the light of truth as to be proof against all operation. If this blind critic should by chance lead, or rather mislead, another both will fall clean into the dtich and come out dirty.
BEGINNINGS OF THE B©ROUGH
As staged in my article of the 2nd instant, Blenheim was constituted a borough in 1869. Mr James Tucker Robinson, with eight other gentlemen, were elected members of the first Borough Council. A strong desire existed both among the people, and also among the councillors themselves, that the Mayor should be elected by the burgesses, and not by the Council. This desire was publicly expressed by Councillor Robinson, who tabled a notice of motion, on the 6th of November, 1870, that the Mayor be elected by the burgesses. This was carried on the 12th of the same month and year, but as the motion could not override the Municipal Corporations Act of 1867, the burgesses adopted a rather unique and novel method of giving effect to Councillor Robinson's motion. An arrangement was made that the Council would return the Mayoral candidate who polled a majority of the ratepayers' votes. By this move the Council could keep, within the Act by voting in the Mayor, while he in reality owed his position to the votes of the burgesses. Councillor Robinson's motion, though intended only as a local reform, soon possessed a widespread influence throughout the Colony, for the principal it contained was in. 1876 embodied in the Municipal Corporations Act.
We have now taken another, though but a small step in our account of the events that transpired in years long passed away. \ We look back into what appears to us now to be almost a dim obscurity, when the inhabitants of the district were few in number, with a prospect before them often resembling a dark and meancing cloud. Doubts and anxieties like those which frequently occupied the minds of the early settlers, together-with the stern realities with which they were brought face to face do not now exist. Old things, troubles and vexations, have passed away, and even their shadows to a great extent lie concealed from our view. It is only when we raise the curtain which time has woven that we see something of the remote past through the nearly darkened twilight of a long period.' But time gives while it takes away, and, where half a century ago primeval silence reigned the hum, the busy stir, and the energetic individual movements and activity of commercial life, pressed onward by the never-ceasing march of civilisation and progress, now takes its place, causing us to note with complacency the words ot the poet in his sublime apostrophe to our mother country:
Full are thy cities with the sons of art, And trade and joy in every busy street Singling are heard.
The people of Marlborough have reproduced and are still reproducing the virtues of those who went before them, the virtues of thrift, industry and perseverance, the possession of which ensures happiness and success. While other places that could be mentioned h, av, e retrograded or have stood almost still, the provincial district, and Blenheim in particular, has from its incipience continued, and will continue to advance in the path of prosperity. (Concluded.)
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Bibliographic details
Marlborough Express, Volume XLI, Issue 41, 18 February 1907, Page 2
Word Count
2,728IN THE OLD DAYS. Marlborough Express, Volume XLI, Issue 41, 18 February 1907, Page 2
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