BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XXXVII, Issue 244, 15 October 1903, Page 2

BRIEF MENTION.

Spring oleaning. The tribulation of the married man is at hand.

Diligence is the mother ol Good Fortune*—Cervantes.

The thirtieth anniversary celebration of a marriage is the pearl wedding.

A woman has been appointed barber to the Ely Urban District Workhouse.

A conscientious civil servant, who felt that the " hard labor " usually pnt in by C.S.s did not justify another holiday, attended as usual at the buildings, yesterday, only to find himself locked out.

He therefore went trout fishing, and worked harder than on any day—labor or otherwise —in the year*

A Chance of a Lifetime.—We notice the following advt. in Saturday's Wellington Post, and giro it free insertion for the benefit of the many bachelors who have for years been looking out for just such an opportunity.

" Young lady, with means, a stranger to Wellington, accomplished, desires to correspond with gentleman, view to matrimony; age no object. Address Genuine, Evening Post."

A profit of £5908 18s lOd was earned upon the working-class dwellings of the London County Council last year.

In the sanctuary of Westminster Cathedral the red hats of the late Cardinals Vaughan and Manning have been hung.

In Western Canada Chinese labor is scarcely to be had for coal mines, as the yellow man is afraid of evil spirits.

Curate: "Your grace, shall I use the prayer for rain?" Bishop (consulting barometer): v Not to day, my brother."

Dr. P. Noonan, late of Blenheim, has commenced practice at Kaponga, a small town near Mount Egmont, Taranaki.

A burglar's kit found at Adelaide railway station comprised a fullyloaded revolver, a sandbag, 31 keys, jeweller's pliers, and a bull's-eye lamp.

If there were a "man in the moon" the earth would look sixty-four times larger to him than the sun does to us on earth.

The Japanese House of Representatives has passed a proposal to prohibit people below the ago of twenty from smoking*

Old Gentleman : "My friend, what do you do with your wages—pat part of them in the savings bank?"

'Bus Driver: " No, sir; after paying the grocer, butcher, and the rent, I pack what's left away in barrels. I don't believe in savings banks."

A Sounds native voices the nice discrimination of his people in fish, thus: 11 Kawai not much ; schnapper middlin'; tuna welly good ; shark, ah! beauty! tas'e him two, three day, all the time."

Early to bed and early to rise May once have made people rich, healthy, and wise, Bat at present the man who would

fain make his mark Has got to keep hustling till long after dark.

A German newspaper states that there are in Europe seventy-one marriageable princesses and only forty marriageable princes.

The hottest place in the world is the interior of the Great Sahara Desert, Africa, where the thermometer rises to 122 degrees.

A Wise Child that Knew her Father. —Smithers: "Do you know anyone who has a horse to sell ?" She: " Yes; I expect old Brown has." Smithers: " Why ?" She: " Well, papa sold him one yesterday."

The Home Secretary of Queensland is gratified to find that the publicans of JRoekhampton are disposed to assist the police in enforcing the Sunday closing provisions of the Licensing Act.

The shortest span of life is that of the mayfly, which hatches, mates, lays, and dies within a few hours, seeing the sun set bnt twice and knowing but one day followed by one darkness from which it never awakens.

The following retort is rather pert, and even impertiment, perhaps, than witty, of Father Stanton, of St. Albans, Holborn, to the Jate Dr. Temple upon his visitation, as Bishop of London, of that church.

" Stanton," said the bishop, " I like your services and the work you are here; but I don't like the incense." "Don't you? I am sorry; but it was the best we could get, and cost 3s 6d a pound."

A local butcher informs the Wairarapa Times that during the 20 years he has been in Masterton he never knew sheep so scarce or dear as at present. He had to travel 40 miles (there and back) a few days ago, only got a small number, and they cost 18s Gd each.

Mr William Sharp in this month's Pall Mall Magazine refers to Dumas and the famous episode of the bearsteak !

The landlord gave him a table apart, and solemnly informed him that he was to have all to himself "a beefsteak of bear."

But even Dumas, after "preliminaries," was startled by the magnitude of the viand placed before him, and at first had a qualm or two. Then he set to, and, later, summoned the landlord to express his satisfaction.

It was then he learned that the " bifsteck d'ours " ought to be even better than usual, for .... had it not been nourished by the huntsman Guillaume Mona, who had recently fouud his quiet grave in the interior of Bruin t

From that landlord and that table Dumas preoipitately fled!