BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XXXIII, Issue 93, 21 April 1898, Page 3

BRIEF MENTION.

Deoboht broken up at Westport. A drizzly rain this morning. Rain also at 9 a.m. at Wellington, Greymouth, Hokitika, Christohuroh, Dunedin, and Inveioargill. America's ultimatum has gone forth, and Spain is given until Saturday morning either to "olimb down" or fight. Spain ia bound to fight, and on Saturday next tbe two countries will be plunged into Wat. The "righteous war of independence" last century oost England £100,000,009, tnd 60,000 lives. Empty Bhops m Wellington remain unoooupied, because owners bold out for high rents. Hospital patients had a treat the other day. The oanvaßßer for the " grapbophone " took the machine to the institution, and rendered several aolootions. The " graphophone " is an improvement on the phonograph, and is jUBt the thing for the entertainment of the sooial circle. Inability to get work, food, or shelter, waß the cause of a man named Michael Wheeler stealing a pair of "brocks" m Wellington. He got what he wanUd. A resident of Waibola, Southland, who ia 76 years of age, is ontting a new and natural Bet of teeth. One tooth is almost matured; and itu pOßßeieor styles tbo novel acquisition hie " Jubilee tooth." Everyone has bis hobby. A local pigeon■hooting'Ortok has just imported an up-to-date gun, costing £45. The owner (a baohelor) now possesses a beantifnl, if rather expensive baby. Somebody wants to know, you know, where Canterbury University iB? Well) it's m Canterbury, don't yon know, We thought everybody knew that. Every* body, that is, who pretends to know anything 1 For the benefit of tboee who pretend tc know everything, bnt don't know muot after all— for after all those who think the] know everything know very little, and thosi who think they know little know most— wi may flay that Canterbury University is f branoh of the University of New Zealand. There are two other branobes, one ii Auckland and one m Dunedin. Eaol branob ia Btyled by oonrteßy, the A. C. or D University. We shall be delighted to give the gentle' man who worries over these little matter any other information he may require oi this or any other subjeot. Ihe miorooarpa has been set down bb i ihort-lived tree, not suitable for permanen hedge. A wonderful discovery. The leader of tbe Opposition says Lori Glasgow is a staunch New Zealander. Fao is, New Zealand was very good to him. The rate at wnioh the Zulus oan trave upon energy is astonishing. Some wil cover 50 miles m six hour?. Builders say that walls built during i rainy season are tbe strongest, and tba when mortar dries quickly it become crumbly and possesses little binding power The town authorities of Bonn have cc tablisheda ourioustax, A projecting win flow or bilQOPj p»Jfl 50 marts \M IO») i

year, md every additional baloony or pro jeotion over it 25 marks. "I warn you," said tbe old gipsy solemnly, " that an enemy will oroSB yon path." " Ob, ho I" laughed tbe soorohei scornfully, " if he's going to oroes my patl you'd better warn him 1" He : " What ie he singing ?" She : "lie me like a soldier fall." He : "If I only hai a gun !" Hon W. Rolleaton thinks politioa aoouraoy ia going out of political life Things m that respeot have oertainl] ohanged m the last six years. " Are you tbe boss of tbe bouße ?" inquire* the man at the door. " No ; I am only the boss's understudy" was the muoh-married man's answer. Tbe number of prisoners m the variom prisons m Wellington at present totals 229 Of that number 75 are Maoris, who were sent down from. Taranaki a while back m oonneotion with the land troubles m thai district. Woman Lawyer : " What is your age ?" Woman Witness: "I was born m tbe same year as yourself." Woman Lawyer: "Question exoused." » She :" Mr Brown does not pay his wife muob attention." He t " No ; the only time I ever knew of his going oat with her was onoe when the gas exploded," Remarked an Hibernian witness to the oroßß-ezamioing counsel at the Metropolitao Quarter Seaeion m Sydney (says the Tele« graph), "He came to me again, and I stopped him with my fist, as any man would. I wasn't going to stand np for him to bit me." "Of course not," said Judge Murray ; "no Irishman would." An even temper ia generally supposed to be an undisguised blessing m domestio life. But the widow who sends the following advertisement to a weekly journal evidently thinks otherwise: 'Young widow lady desires to make acquaintance of gentleman fond of mueio, but not too even tempered.' She should have no difficulty m discovering what she wants, for musioal people are not alwayß even » tempered, There is more m this advertisement than meets the eye. It may be that the young widow's late husband was a man of monotonously even temperament, without the power to raise a storm even m a teacup, and we all know how aggravating suoh people are. A little breeze now and then ia a great relief to people who dislike Bailing on an always even keel. It was at a baby show down South. The performance had olosed,. and tbe exhibits had been duly returned— all save one. A tardy exhibitor arrived to claim her treasure. The oheoktaker carefully handed over the remaining exhibit. But tbe applioant exclaimed m an agonised tone, ' Qood gracious, man, this is not my child.' 'Very sorry, ma'am,' replied the oheoktaker, cheerfully, ' but it's the only one I have left. Tbe obeokp, you see, must have got mixed. However, t promise you it shan't ooour again.' She had to take somebody else's darling, and when the mail left the mixing up of thoße babieß had not been straightened out. Stinging.— A bright story is told of the accomplished wife— now dead -of General Hooker. When she was the admirable Miss Groeabeok, of Cincinnati, she was onoe at an evening party, when a fashionable young dandy was asked if he would like to be pre« sented to her. "Oh, yeß," said he.lan« guidly, " trot her out." The lady overbeard the remark, and when he was presented, she adjusted her eye-glassea deliberately, and slowly scanned his clothing from boot to collar. The survey finished, she waved her hand and oarelessly said, " Trot him baok, I have seen all there is of him."