BRIEF MENTION

Marlborough Express, Volume XXXI, Issue 106, 9 May 1896, Page 3

BRIEF MENTION

A begobd morning for front co far thi sea Eon. King Sol ever welcome. No complaint as to ezoeßsive heat just now. Ibis 18 the time of the year when afie raking up your garden walks they are thiokl; strown with your neighbor's poplar leaves For shooting two native pigeons m Moon shine Valley, Wellington, George Washing ton was fined 10a with costs £1 15s 6d Makes you careful, George. A hunt is being made by the authoritiei for a person who recently cent the ca'oasi of a diseased beast to a butchor m Wellington. Proceedings will bs taken if the max can be traced. Nearly double as many letters are de livered m London on Monday as on an; other day of the week, The Seoretary of State for War, MarquiE of Lansdowne, has finally deoided to form s "regiment of gentlemen." On a piece of ground between the Gas> works and Beaohville, Nelson, are two peai trees, one of whioh, at the present time U laden with fruit, while the other is covered with blossom. Teacher: "What are the two thinge necessary to baptism ? " Small girl ; " Please, sir, water and a baby." One of the exciting whale hunts for which Oikneyis famous took place on March 3 near the island of Sandy. About 10G bottle-nose whales were driven ashore by a fleet of boats and killed. The British orown is made up of dia monds, rubies, sapphires, pearls, and emeralds, set m silver and gold bands. It weighs 39 ounces 5 pennyweights troy. In it there are 3642 diamonds, 273 pearls, 9 rubies, 17 sapphires and 11 emeralds. A parson m America asserted from the pulpit that two thirds at the young girls of over 14 years m the city of Ban Francisco are unohaste. The parson, owing to hi 3 celerity of movement, escaped a lynohing at the handa of the citizens. Pity there weren't some taoks, point upwards, m his shoes. A Harvard professor has made the calculation that if men were really as big as they sometimes feel there would be room m the United States for only two professors, three lawyers, two dootors, and a reporter on a Philadelphia paper. The rest of us would be crowded into the sea and have to swim for it, A little girl heard a eormon from the wordß "My oup runneth over ; surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life," On returning home she was asked if she could remember the minister's text, and replied : " Yes, indeed ! It was • Mercy 1 Goodness I My oup's tipped over.' " * The Jersey States Assembly, by 28 votes to 12, rejected the Bill for permitting mem bers to use the English language m the As* sembly when unable fluently to epeak French, whioh Constitutionalists persist m regarding as the official language of the island, though English is now spoken m evety district. "There's only one thing the Armless Wonder can't do with his feet," said the showman, "What's that?" asked a spectator. " Put on hiß gloves 1" answered the showman. Eaoh ton of coal used by tho prinoipal gas companies of London costs, on the average, 11s lOd ; but as it produoes 12owt of coke, 10 gallons of tar, and other residuals, wbioh sell altogether for about 7s lO&d, the nett cost of the coal is reduced to a little under 43 per ton. A ton of coal produoes between 9000 and 10,000 feet of gas. A woman with a baby m her arms applied to Mr Lane, Q. 0., for advice. Her husband, she said, had been oat all night. Mr Lane : Well, what can I do ? It's a very wrong thing to do, but a magistrate can't be expeoted to reclaim every wandering husband. You know there is no effenoe m staying out all night." (Laughter.) In the Westminster County Court a Frenchman declared bis inability to pay a claim. The plaintiff contended that the defendant bad just married a widow with six children, and if he could afford to marry be could surely afford to pay his debts. The judge made an order for payment by instalments, •• Doctor," said an o'd lady the other day to her family physician, " can you tell me how it is that seme folks are born dumb? ' "Why — hem! certainly, madam," replied the dootor ; it is owing to the faot that th6y come into the world without the power of speech." "Dear me!" remarked the old lady; "now just Bee what it is to have a medical edacation, I've asked my husband more than a hundred times the sama thing, and all I could got out of him was ' Because they are.' »