BRIEF MENTION.

Marlborough Express, Volume XXXI, Issue 195, 10 August 1895, Page 3

BRIEF MENTION.

4 Brhbzi weather. Aooordiogtothe Weather Report, Welliogton Ibis morning was "OP Q," whioh, being interpreted, means " overoast, pasßing drawers, squally." At 9 a.m. rain was falling at Napier, New Plymouth, Lyttelton and Chrietohutch Bltnheim was " blue sky." Minnie Dean is to be exeouted next Monday morning. Mr E. M. Smith says the Pablio Trustee is " an autoorat of the deepest dye." Tbe. member for New Plymouth— lß6s, C. W. Richmond ; 1895, B. Metoalf Smith. It is Bad to Bee family relios Bold at auction, but the most painful thing under the hammer ia generally your thumb-nail. We osn't tell you, •• Constant Reader," what days are considered unluoky to be married on. Authorities differ ; some say 865. The great Ottoman empire, wbioh at one time threatened tbe civilised world, sprang from a band of fonr hundred wandering Turkoman families. A nine-month-old infant died from nicotine poisoning m Scotland recently. It wbb given a pipe, as a plaything, during the brief abßenca of its mother. "It's so quiet m the country," said Gibson, "that I've often laid awake at night and listened to the bedntioking I' 1 The latest enterprise nnder co-operative principles is the " Wedding Present Association." The objeot is to provide its members with wedding presents at reduoed prices, upon payment of two guineas a year. It is estimated that theriobest of civilised peoples is the Englieb, with £750 per head. In France the average is Baid to be £700 ; m the United States £680. Scene : A town m the north on a very misty day. Bandy M'Kay (coming out of a pnblic-houee and meeting his minister face to face) : Loan, sir, it's an awful deoeivin' thing, this mist. Dye ken (impressively), I wandered m there the noo, thinkin 1 it was the grocer's?" Last year criminal prosecutions by the Crown cost the colony £12,365, made up as follows :— Fees to Crown Solicitors and Prosecutors, £3,568; witnesses' expenses, £7,246 i payment of jurors, £1,551. Girls employed m the crape manufacture are under a curious oontraot not to engage m any housework after the hours of labor. The reason is lest their hands become course. Histrionic Aspirant (after giving speoimen of biß powers); "And now you've Been what I oan do, what line would you advise me to take ?" Manager (with emphasis) : "A clothes line and hang yourself to the nearest tree with it. Good morning 3" Amateur Aotor (who has just conduoted a performance of the part of Hamlet — to a friend): "Well, old fellow, don't you feel inclined to congratulate someone?" Friend: "Indeed I do." Amateur (with vainglorious mien) : "May Iso far infringe on modeßty as to aek his name ?" Friend : "Certainly. His name is Shakespeare, •nd X heartily ooogratalate him on his unavoidable absence." They have an automatic " Dootor Cureall" m Holland. It is the wooden figure of a man, with compartments all over it, labelled with tbe names of various ailments. It you have a pain, find its corresponding looation on the figure, drop a coin into the Blot, and tbe proper pill or powder will come oat. Under the Belgian law unmarried men over twenty-five have one vote, married men and widowers with families have two votes, and priests and other persons of position and education have three votes. Severe penalties are impoßed on those who fail to vote. Temperance Leoturer: "Friends, how can we stop tbe sale of liquor ?" Inebriate (m the rear of the ball) : " Give it awey." When dead bodies are entered ac cargo on a ship, they are recorded on tbe invoices ac "statuary," or "natural history specimens," to allay the superstitious fears of the orew. " When shall I call you. m tbe morning, Bit ?" asked tbe hotel waiter of an Irishman, one night. He replied : " I'll ring the bell when I wieh to be called." " Where be'est tbee gwine, Jarge ?" " Baint gwine nowhere 1" 11 But thee mast be gwine somewhere 1" " Saw, Oi baint 1 Oi be ooomin 1 back 1" Brigham Young once said his one am* bition was that he might live m peace for the remainder of his days, and have his dying pillow soothed by the loving hands of his family. Artemua Ward, however, pointed out that Brigham had 200 wiveß, and that if all bis wives were to soothe his dying pillow he would have to go out of doors to die. At a Scotch Polioe Court, an old woman— the solitary prisoner— was brought before tbe presiding baillie. "As I'm the only ane, . yer lordship might let me ail," she pleaded, slyly. "Na, Tibby," severely replied the Bench, "that will I no. Jist because there's only you, I'll gie yet as het an* Btrang as I'm allooed by statoot to dae. I've been nearer gettin 1 a pair o* white gloves than ony magistrate that ever sat on this ooort, an' wad hae baen them but for yer gettin' fou an* feohtin*. Forty days, wi' hard labor, witboot the option o* a fine."