Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Marlborough Express, Volume XXVI, Issue 100, 2 May 1890, Page 4

THE ARIZONA KICKER, .. ♦" — — — RE# t j EDITORS £ ■■- HAPPINESS FOUND ONLY IN TH^ WEST. We estraot the following items from the last issue of the A tizona Kioker : — ApoLooKTio/Tj.-'Wemaßtapologißetooui readers this week for, spy lack of interesting matter m the Kioker. Monday morning as we weze busy at the editorial table, ; that personage known as ' Kansas Joe* entered the office and fired both barrels of a shot-gon at us from a distance of about eighteen feet. One of the shot raked our scalp, while the rest passed above out head into the vrf 'l. In ano'her thirty seconds Joseph was dead, We palled on him with a revolver under the emcke and dropped him with a single ballet. Scores of oaf : leading . oitizens pronounced it the fintat shot they had ever known. There was the usual inquest, burial, etc, ooonpying so mpoh of our time that we oould noil 1 give the paper the attention it deserved. Next week, nnless we have to kill Tennessee Bill, the Kioker will again be fully np to the mark. ; See His Ad.— We call attention to the two-column advertisement of the White . Elephant drag store, whioh is to be found on oar third . page. . The, advertisement was not given The Kioker because we had Becertained that Mr Drew, the druggist, was an absconder from New Jersey, and waß here living under a false name and with a woman Dot his wife, but because he is a believer m printer's ink and has faith that The Kicker will increase his already large and profitable retail trade. . Happens Thai Way.— On Friday Bftei" noon we approached Henry Smith, of the dry goods firm of Smith Bros., and sag* gested that he advertise his business m the Kioker. He oourteonsly replied that he wonld ; see us m the, huokleberi/ ooontry wherever that is— before he would do business vrith us. Oae word brought on another, and the result was that he knocked us down, picked np oar half-con-soiouH body, and. mopped it around until he began to sweiit bis collar, and we were then flong out of the door into the sand. We can't and don't expect to lick everybody we bump up against m tbis country. We have chawed up seven for eve*/ time we have been done np, and everybody Bays : that is a reoord to boast of. Aa for Henry Smith while we owe him. no grudge, we deem it our duty to find out where he is wanted by the police, and we'll bet a barrel of sugar he jumps this town, inside of two weeks. Let Him Howii.--Oar bow-backed, lop. shouldered, knee sprung, green-eyed contemporary down the street is half dead with envy becauße we were the leading feature at Mrs O'Hara's party the other evening, while he reoeived the cold oat. While we were receiving a hundred compliments on oar late editorial m regard to colonizing Iceland with American Indians, he was sitting among hia paste-pota with a cold glare m his eyes. While we were leading the Brat quadrille he was kicking cockroaches m the semi- darkness, and while we were declaiming * Sheridan's Bide' m our own inimitable style the fire of envy was consuming his small, cheap soul, which waa doubtless purchased at some seoond-hand sale m the east. Let him howl, however. We can afford to pass him with good nature. We are. as far above, the old vulture as Pike's Peak is above the deepest spot m the' sea. Expiakaxobt.— An explanation iB dne to our readers that still another breaoh-of-promise suit has been brought against us, making the seventeenth m two years. This -time it is the widow Chambers who brings suit, and Bhelaya her damage at $50,000. Society here is peculiar. Lone women seek this locality to catch a husband. Any unmarred man is fair game, and ordinary courtesy is construed to mean love and a proposal. Take the last case for instance. Mrs Chambers invited ;ns to dinner. She said it was m aoknowledgemenVof the power of the press. We put on a clean shirt. and combed our hair, and she took it to mean that we were' gone on her. We spoke kindly of the way sha -boiled corned beef, aod, she argued.that we loved her. We praised her prune pie, and she replied that Bhe could be ready m thiea weeks. ,-. ■ ... The sixteen other suits have all been decided m our favour, and of course tbis one will be. : It is a plan to capture us or oar cash, but we don't surrender. Even when we have had offers to settle a $50,000 suit for $7 and a calico dress we have Bternly held to oar coarse and let the oase go to trial.

THE BOGA PACKING COMPANY. Silver Medal, Wellington Exhibition 1885 ; Seven ITibst Peizes, Melbourne ' . : International Exhibition, 1888-89 Silver Medal, Paris Exhibition, 1889. f-pHE BOGA FACTOBY are [now prepared to PUBCHASE BABBITS m any quantity at THREE SHILLINGS per DOZEN for CASH.- \ The BOGA CANNISTERS are made and finished by Machinery, and contain no solder inside the Tin.' 39 X, FOSTER. 11 NOTICE TO RABBITERS. - rpHE Marlborough Meat Works are now m full swing m Rabbits, : and ' are prepared to pay 8s per dozen, delivered fresb at the Works. CHAS. HEATH, •Manager. _ MARLBOROUGH MEAT WORKS. ' ' NOTICE TO RaBBITEBS. O TORES will begsupplied as per O usual for Cash [or] Rabbits only. CHAS; HEATH, Manager. March 18, 1890. ' 488 ' W. B. Parker, QfIEEP k CATTLE DEALBB f*) AND COMMISSION AGENT FOR PAKW P RO D D 0 K.