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Marlborough Express, Volume XIV, Issue 1136, 24 May 1879, Page 5

' Mu J. S. Hickson, the recently-appointed Bench Clerk and Clerk of the District Court at Blenheim, arrived here on Thursday last from Nelson to commence his official duties.

Yesterday was observed as a holiday at the Blenheim Borough School in commemoration, we understand, of the successful examination passed last year by the Upper School boys.

A man named W. H. Inman has been committed for trial on the charge of passing valueless cheques at Palmerston North. We have heard of several of these specious documents being floated lately in this province. We understand that legal proceedings are contemplated by a Nelson shareholder in the D’Urville Island Copper Mine Company, to test the validity of a certain resolution passed at a recent meeting authorising the disposal of shares. A further instalment of informations against offenders under the Dog Nuisance Act has been laid by the Police, and will come on for hearing at the Resident Magistrate’s Court in due course.

r Me W, Syms has resigned his office as Mayor of the Borough of Pictou, and the election of his successor is announced for the 14th June, nominations to be sent in by noon of the 31st instant, —Press.

Mr. T. O’Sullivan sold by auction, on Thursday last, on the premises, High-street, the household furniture and effects of Mr J. H. Jensen, who is leaving the district. There was a good attendance, and fair prices were realised.

A Coincidence.- It apsears that, like our own Opawa, the Clutha river is unusually low this season, and an attempt is about to be made, according to the local Argus, to divert the stream into its original bed at Rocky Point, It says the' circumstances seem favorable, and the man who achieves the desired end will earn the gratitude of the ratepayers throughout the .country. ,

/'"Mr. A. Penney has obtained a tem* porary license for the sale of refreshments in a booth to be erected at the Vernon Butts to-dajv on the occasion of the District Prize Firing. Jr A panic seems to be setting m at Wellington. Every day increases the number of insolvencies, and last night’s telegrams say there was a new batch yesterday. The process is healthful, but unpleasant, and we only hope it will not unduly affect this district.

The anniversary sermons will be preached at the Blenheim Presbyterian Church to-morrow (Sunday, 25th instant). The Rev. P. J. Riddle will preach in the morning and the Rev. W. McAra in the evening. Collections will be made at each service in aid of the Building Fund.

The p.s. Lyttelton arrived from Nelson on the 21st instant, bringing as passengers Mr and Mrs Hickson and family, and Mr and Mrs Dobb. She left again on the following day for Nelson. The s.s. Napier also arrived on the 21st instant from Wellington, and left again on the next day for the same port. It will be remembered that at the last meeting of the Lower Wairau Rivers Board a letter -was read from Mr Conolly, instructed by Mr Douslin, making a claim for Ll4(i, and threatening legal proceedings if the request were not complied with. The request has not been complied with, and we hear that proceedings are ordered to be commenced.

A Kaikouea correspondent telegraphed to us on Thursday as follows ;—“A meeting was held here on May 19th, when it was resolved to ask the Government to hand over the money voted for the Clarence Bridge to the County Council, to be expended on a wharf and the road south to Waiau.” This news will be received with interest by the Awatere Road Board.

We hear flint a ratepayer of the Polorus Highway district is about to take legal proceedings against the Tramway Company for injury done by them to the road which lie alleges is rendered highly dangerous in some places, and in many instances, almost impassable. He alao states that injury has been done to his land by their cutting earth away in progress of their work.

An elderly man named John Andrews, well known as an old settler, who had been missing for some days from bis home at Waikaka, between Tua Marina and Kaituua, and bad suffered considerably from exposure, eventually found his way to Mr McLean’s at Kaituaa. He has now been removed to the Picton Hospital, where we are glad to hear he is progressing favorably. Inquest at Havelock. — -An inquest was held at Havelock on Tuesday last, before J. Allen, Esq., coroner, touching the death of a child named James George Wilson, aged two and a half years. From the evidence it appeared that the child was playing with others on the beach at Kopai, Pelorus Sound, and strayed away from his companions. The body was subsequently found dead on the beach when the tide was out, at a point about three feet below high water mark. A verdict of Found Drowned” was returned by the jury.

We have received a most amusing poetical jeu d'esprit having reference to a recent gathering. We regret wo cannot publish it for several reasons ; The writer has not confided in us by adding the name ; the event referred to was a private one, and has not been noticed by us in any way ; and lastly we cannot bring ourselves to repeat anything that might bo construed into unkindness relative to such a social matter, but we will treasure the information conveyed and the production as a memento of our fair correspondent. When the Native Minister was at Cambridge, Waikato, on last Wednesday, a number of Maoris desirous of seeing him, went to the room whore Mr Sheehan was, and tried to force a passage, passed the sentry on guard at the head of the staircase. They were forced back, and thinking themselves agrleved made another rush for the door and gained the landing. At this juncture one of the constabulary, putting his back against the wall, pushed one of the foremost natives downstairs, several others, some of them said to be chiefs, falling with him, and a Native Agent also. A struggle then ensued, and one native constable, who lost his hat in the melee, was arrested by mistake by his comrades and taken to the lock up. In the morning he was set at liberty, and as no consequences ensued the affair seems to have created some amusement.

$ The pile-driving operations commenced on the railway works between Dr Horne’s and Mr Lucas’s premises on the Grove Road, referred to in our last issue, were suspended on Thursday after three very substantial piles had been driven to the requisite depth. The reason of the stoppage is, we understand, that there is to be an alteration in the line at this point so as to leave out.a slight curve, but no change having been made in the trench cut to show the course of the line the contractors were naturally proceeding with the work on the line as laid down until the mistake was discovered. We are not aware who to is blame in the .matter, but the affair is not a very serious one, although it will necessarily entail some slight extra cost and a little delay. The work at the Opawa Bridge is progressing satisfactorily. A

The steamer Star of the South came into Picton on Saturday last to load another cargo of barley for the South. The Napier is expected to load with grain, as the bar at the Wairau river mouth is so bad that it cannot be trusted; and it is expected expedition will be obtained by forwarding goods by rail to Picton, thence by steamer to other ports. The majority of business men in Blenheim would be pleased to see all traffic by way of the Wairau river stopped, unless the bar so improves that a decent prospect will be afforded to send and receive goods in something like a definite time. At present water carriage by way of the river is a delusion, and recently on several occasions the' steamer has been bar bound for Rays with passengers on board. Such a state} of things is far from pleasant, but as it is amongst the inevitables must be cheerfully borne or c|her routes taken by which the annoyance may m avoided Press*

The com mi flee of the Literary Insti-

tute have compiled a new and voluminous catalogue of books, which has been printed and may be procured from the Librarian.

The annual ploughing match of the Marlborough Agricultural Association is to be held on Thursday, sth June, in Mr Batty’s (late Taylor’s) paddock on the Middle Hoad. The programme consists of matches for single and double furrow ploughs for men, and a single furZfor youths. Ye noticed in Mr Turner’s window last ~,~aing three very nice medals in gold, silver, and bronze, a valuable meerschaum pipe, and several other prizes which are to be shot for today by the volunteers. We were desirous of publishing the list of gifts constituting the prizes, but were informed that it was not obtainable. We shall, however, be able to say in next issue of what they consist, by whom given, and by whom they were won. In our correspondence ctfhimn is a letter which conveys a slur on the Judges at the late Agricultural Show. We do not like to refuse the writer an opportunity of giving his opinion, but we beg to say that we do not concur in it by any means. Messrs Redwood always show good horses, and no Judges are likely to belie their opinion to please them ; and moreover’ having submitted to their award, every exhibitor ought to be contented with tl>eir judgment. 'J/av contractor for the pile-driving at the old breach below Rock Ferry has finished his contract, and commenced on Thursday last with his fresh one to drive another row of piles at the southern end of the gut which had been formed on the south bank. The effect of the work already done has been most successful, and it is confidently anticipated that when the whole is completed the great danger from flood by the overflowing of tire Opawa river will bo removed, a proportion of the water being diverted back into its old channel, the Wairau River. We understand that one of tire Blenheim merchants is making a collection of specimens of barley for the Sydney Exhibition. Mr Thomas Redwood is also, we believe, sending a sample of his own production, which is said to be the best produced in the district, and as the Wairau is said to produce the best in the colony, we are reminded of the sentence in the Chapter House at York Minster, which slightly altered and applied in the present instance, would be— As Wairau hai-ley is the best, so is Mr Redwood’s the flower of all barley in the colony. / Opposition Tactics.—We are authorised to state that the assertion of the Hon. W. Pox, that the salaries of the civil servants at Dunedin had not been paid in regular course, is absolutely without foundation. His assertions look like deliberate attempts to injure the Colony for political purposes. The copy of a leader from the Timaru Herald sent by the Press Agency, to the effect that Government cheques have been dishonoured, is also false. The authors of these fabrications must know they are circulating falsehoods.—Chronicle.

At Mr Lawrence’s sale by auction of goods in his assigned estate yesterday not much was sold, there appearing to be a disinclination to speculate, arising probably from the prevalent complaint, from which the commercial body is suffering just now. of disease of the chest. The lots which appeared to attract most attention were a portable steam engine and a very neat buggy, nearly new. Neither of these articles were knocked down to anyone, the engine being withdrawn, and the buggy, we hear, is going back to Dunedin, from whence it originally came. The steam engine appears to be a very useful machine, adapted to a variety of purposes, such as cutting wood or farm operations of various kinds, and will probably find a private purchaser. Steam was got up, and it was kept going in front of Mr Lawrence’s large store for some hours yesterday, and drew numerous visitors, many of whom expressed most favorable opinions of its merits, but nevertheless did not bid for it.

A traveller informed us on Saturday last that on the afternoon train arriving at Tara Marina from Picton the passengers were astonished to hear a tremendous noise as if somebody down Blenheim way had set up a lot of steam hammers. As the train proceeded the noise got louder and louder, and on inquiring at Opawa, they first learned the cause of the unearthly clatter from Eiley’s coachman. Now, without saying a word to cast a doubt on the credibility of the narrator, we must say it was ruff on Adams. Of course, all the townspeople has been down to see what the row was long before, and on finding it was Adams’s sausage machine at his new shop, working on the hollow floor, simply ordered a lot of sausages for their tea, and retired satisfied. If anyone hears a noise again today resembling a lot of hammers keeping up a quick and regular beat, they will know it is Adams’s signal telling them that he is making best sausages, and that they will be ready for delivery in a few minutes after starting.

/ Telegraph Sports, —The following are The handicaps lor the principal events to come off to-day at Seymour Square, commencing at noon :—Footrace, 100 yards Maiden—Kidson and Walsh at scratch ; Copeland, Emerson, Kivell, and Dempsey 2 yards ; Hyams, 5 yards ; J. Hemus, 6 yards ; Bailey, 7 yards. Footrace, 100 yards, Handicap—Treweek and Lechner at scratch; Walsh, Wyatt, Kidson, 2 yards; Booth, Kivell, Dempsey, and Copeland 4 yards ; Andrews, 5 yards. Handicap Hurdle Eace, 300 yards—Kidson and Treweek at scratch ; Wyatt, 8 yards; Booth and Copeland, 10 yards. Footrace, 430 yards, Handicap—Treweek at scratch ; Kidson and Lechner, 4 yards ; Copeland and Booth, 8 yards. Half-mile Handicap— Booth and Treweek at scratch; Lechner and Kidson, 10 yards; Emerson, 20 yards : Hyams, 30 yards ; J. Hemus, 35 ; Wilson, 40 yards. Cadets Handicap, 100 yards—Kivell at scratch ; Andrews and Hyams, 3 yards ; Hemus, 4 yards. Running High Jump Handicap Wyatt at scratch ; Walsh, 2 inches ; Kindson, 4 inches. Running High Jump Handicap (Cadets)—Wilson at scratch ; Kivell and J. Hemus, 2 inches ; Andrews, 3 inches. There will be a number of other sports. Mr J. H. Nicholls will be the starter, Mr H. Hemus judge, and Mr A. P. Gould referee, ' ✓

Messrs.W Acton. Adams, M. H.R , and S. Mackay, of Nelson, are gazetted Justices of the Peace.

Mr Albert Pitt and Mr Edward Moore announce that they have entered into partnership as barristers and solicitors at Nelson, under the title of “Pitt and Moore,” The return of lands sold in the "Wellington and district during [the month of April 1879, is as follows :—Land sold, 457 acres 34 perches. Payment received, cash £IBBS Is 7d ; scrip, £2627.

Honour. —Some excitement has been shown over the election of secretary of Melbourne Afchenaium which will probably-cause another election. 15 members of committee recorded votes, and 8 say they voted for A. P. Martin, while Curtis was declared elected by a majority of one. The matter lias occasioned a good deal of excitement and feeling. No wonder. We shared in a ballot not long ago and voted for a person, of whom; was officially announced that he had not recived one vote.

Mrs Hardinue Britten, at a meeting of friends at Dunedin, made the following extraordinary statement;—“When a child she was a noted sommnambulist, and there never was a time within her recollection when she was free from the visits of angelic forms. Having an extraordinary voice, she was taken to Paris where she studied in the Conservatoire of Music. The progress she made there was a great suprise to her teachers, but it was all owing to her invisible companions, under whose directions she wrote her tasks in her sleep. She knew nothing of mathematics, but, when in a somnambulistic state, she solved the most difficult problems. Her spirit friends deprived her of her powers as a singer, and trained her for the platform. When she spoke she was utterly under their control. All of the education she possessed she owed to the blessed beings she believed to be the spirits of just men made perfect.

Nabbed. —There is. a great deal of nonsense talked about the spread of Beecherism among parsons, but a little incident that happened recently seems to substantiate the oftenmade remark : “This is a fine country, sir, but not fenced in yet.” It appears that the father of a family of girls, a merchant in a northern city, went outduck shooting and returned in the evening with a large string of game. As he passed the minister’s house he concluded to stop and leave the good young clergyman a couple of brace. He rang the bell, and it was answered by the clei-ic hitnseif. The latter gave a sudden groan, and, dropping on his knees before the mud-covered gunner, he exclaimed, “don’t shoot, and I’ll marry Maria in the morning.” And the astounded old gentleman had the presence of mind to grasp the situation and reply, “Very well, sir : see that you do.” And he did. — Sun,

At the meeting of the creditors of Thos. M'Clelland, jun., bootmaker, at Wellingtonwhich was held recently, a rather singuly dis, covery was made. It appears mat some time ago the bankrupt entered into an agreement with his father to take over and carry on the latter’s business iu Manners-street. He was to receive £3 per week as manager, and it was agreed that he should place the takings in a cash box and hand them over to his father every week. The name of the son was painted on the signboard. For a few weeks all went well; but some days ago, on going to the cash box at the end of a week, the father found that all the money except £1 bad disappeared. He then turned his son out, nailed up the door, and got his own name placed on the signboard. _ The trustee was instructed to obtain possession of the goods and books left by bankrupt at hia father’s house, and also to get the money which he had paid over to M'Clelland, sen. — Post.

The following amusing paragraph relating to the mistakes occasionally made in telegrams is from the Otago Daily Times : —The labor of interpreting the extraordinary hash made in the telegrams which we are now nightly receiving, especially as regards figures, is wearing out our staff, and we believe a charge of manslaughter will one day lie against the officials of the Telegraph Department. As an instance we may mention that yesterday the increase of private deposits in the Bank of New Zealand was stated in the message at £6,800 ; it should have been £168,000. To-day we publish a telegram giving the assets and liabilities of the Bank, which have been evolved from a maze of figures by a process of addition, subtraction, and inductive reasoning, which, we think, has at last enabled us to give them correctly ; but as a specimen of the way in which the figures “ came through," we may state that one, line, that of “ Bills discounted and other debts due to the Bank,” came as follows :—£7154411511 8s Bd. This is a nice little sum to total up; we tried to enumerate it—and failed. But the unkindest cut of all was the covert aspersion on our correspondent, which is implied in the following memorandum upon the telegram : “These figures are correct as far as our department is concerned !” We knew the Telegraph Department was capable of a good deal, but did not know it was equal to such a crammer as that. In the same telegram the Bank is said to be about to increase its reserve fund £25,000,000 ; but this is nothing to the thousands of millions mentioned above. However, by adding a few ciphers here, and taking away a few from there, we get it to balance in the end ; so all is well that ends well. We give,the Telegraph Depart* ment our blessing.

The “Loafer in the street 5 ' says:— An English paper tells the following little story, which I do not think has as yet appeared in print in this colony:—A widow woman occupied, ’under a large proprietor, two or three acres and a small house. Her rent fell in arrear, and the ' landlord waited on the woman ' himself. She explained to him that it was utterly impossible for her to pay her rent ; and the landlord said, “I am very sory, but I think I can help you out of your difficulty. You must get tip a subscription, and we will purchase you a cow.” The landlord, of course, headed the list himself; the money was subscribed, the cow was bought, the milk was enjoyed by the widow for two or three weeks,'and then at the end of that time the cow was sold by the landlord to pay the rent.”

William Bernard, a butcher at Kaiapoi. ■was brought up lately in Christchurch, charged with stealing about 300 sheep, the property of Mr Chapman, a runhokler at the Moeraki Down. The case was remanded for a week, bail being granted, the prisoner in £2OO and two securities of £IOO each. AMan named Henderson, arrested at Wellington for stealing a L2O note from Archibald Campbell, Captain of the schooner Zior, was searched more closely and the missing note was discovered in the toe of his boot. The accused is supposed to be the same man for whom a warrant has been out for five years in a West Coast murder case. There are sixteen special jury cases arising out of the bush fire at Waimate set down for hearing at the next sittings of Supreme Court. 452 special jurors and 72 common jurors are to be summoned, and it is anticipated that all the cases will not be heard in less than a fortnight.

The Lyttelton Times states that a number of bones closely resembeing human ones, but of much smaller size, the fibula or leg-bones being only three inches long, have been found 40feetbelow the surface in the sandstone formation on the bank of the river Waiau, Amuri. They are in good preservation, are adult’s bones, but do not belong to any known animal. Poor Gird ! A servant giil in the Tokomariro district had been carefully saving the cheques with which her employer had been paying her monthly for the past year. Shortly before the wedding, which was to have taken place the other day, she presented the cheques in question to the bank, and they were all dishonored—Otago Daily Times Stories of the untiring energies of Life

Assurance agents have been often told, but a local incident of recent date is worthy of notice. The Government agent now in Wanganui going towards the fire last night got on board a cab. After viewing the rums, Mr McMurdo improved the return journey by engaging the driver in an animated argument on the benefits of Assurance, and succeeded in taking his life for £4OO. Wanganui Herald.

Two men, says the Sun were out shooting the other day in South Canterbury ; one had a license, theother hadn’t. A ranger approched, and the one that had a license ran away. The ranger was a good runner, and an exciting race ensued over about a mile and a half of nice

ploughed fields. At last the ranger got up to runaway. “Now, sir, where’s your license ?” It was procpiced. “Then why the -did you run away ?” “Oh, Im found of exercise,” answered the man ; “but don’t you think you’d better ask my friend if he has one ?” The following amusing story is from a Home paper :—A lady named Mrs Gould was anxious to assist in decorating a certain church, and thinking an inscription would be most suitable, instructed her husband while in town to proeure one. He, of course, forgot the inscription, and sent a message to his wife to that effect. The telegraphists in town were considerably puzzled when the following message from Mrs. Gould was taken off :—“Unto us a child is born, nine feet long, by two feet broad,”

Attemped Incendi'Eisii. — A deliberate attempt was made to burn down the office of Messrs. Moorhouse, Edwards, and Cutten, solicitors, Featherston-street, on Tuesday night. It appears that the office was shut up as usual at about 6 o'clock, everything then being quite safe. At about 7 o’clock Mr. Moorhouse jun, returned to the office, and found a quanity of old briefs, &c., stored on a shelf in one of the rooms in a

blaze. Fortunately, with a jug of water close at hand, he was enabled very speedily to extinguish the flames. The shelf in question is close to a window looking out upon a passage leading to Mr. Dransfield’s yard. The window, which is never opened, was found on this occasion raised about a foot or eighteen inches, and several wax matches were found strewn about the room, and also in the passage near the window. The papers burned were a quantity of old briefs, and were of no value. It is fortunate that the fire was discovered so soon by Mr. Moorhouse, or the consequences would probably have been very serious. The police are investigating the affair. Post.

An irate correspondent with a short temper writes us on the subject of Life Assurance, He wants to know why the peripatetic agents now pestering the good folks of Wanganui are not apprehended for gambling. He argues that as the “list men ” on the race course were turned off by the police so should Messrs Short and McMurdo be cautioned or taken into custody at once. The “list men ” offer, it may ke 5.t0 1 against a certain horse doing a certain thing, that is, winning a race. The agents in question go to a man and say in effect, wc offer you so many pounds to one that you won’t die before a certain time. The man becomes a particeps criminis by accepting the offer and depositing his money, and by keeping the bet alive by ( renewing the deposit quarterly or yearly as arranged. If, the man dies he wins the bet, and his survivors take the money, if he lives to a

1 good old age the Insurance Company win by receiving from the man more money than they guarantee to pay.—Wanganui Herald. A somewhat extraordinary affair is narrated by the Wanganui Herald. While the train was travelling along about three miles the other side of Halcombe on Saturday, a cow got on the line. The speed was at once slackened and the whistle blown, but the cow started off in front of the train along the line, and could j,; not be induced to quit it. The chase lasted for ~ about a mile, when a bridge was reached, Which i.tfce fiow endeavoured to cross, but slipped between the sleepers, and there stuck. There .was nothin" for it but the passengers getting put,, and helping to remove the cow from her dangerous position. They all worked with a Will, one individual, however, being so energetic at ,the tail, that it at last gave way, and he • , went head over heels into the creek below, | The ifiCpw af; last slipped through the bridge, and was , hist seen going .down the stream, but evidently , seripqsly. hurt. . Had the engine caught the cow • «>*, nothing couldl have prevented a serious accident.

Sunday traffic on Wellington City Tramay will be discontinued on and after Sunday next.

The Mail says Mr Walter Johnston, M.H.E., has brought a hornet’s nest about his ears in Wellington, the cause of offence, and a very just one as it appears, having been that, as chairman of a public meeting, called to consider the desirability of establishing a free library, he took advantge of his position to introduce bis views on politics, and referred to history to hack up his views. “ Men,” said he, “ who know the history of England, would not submit to improper dealings with public lands,” &c. This was quite enough to bring the papers down upon him, and Mr Johnston must long ere this have repented him of his anxiety to make the little world of Wellington believe that he was learned in history. The New Zealander flays him alive in a savage article, commencing thus contemptuously ; “ And Mr Walter Johnston, M.H.R. for the district of Manawatu, in the colony of New Zealand, actually knows the history of England !” and concluding in the following complimentary strain; indecency of abusing his position as chairman of a purely non-political meeting for the purpose of displaying his political malice and his historical ignorance, we strongly advise him to bring his history book in his pocket, for his mouth may betray him. His conduct on this occasion was at once, indecent, ignorant, and impudent—indecent in introducing such topics on such an occasion, ignorant in attempting to talk about things he knew nothing of, and impudent in assuming that other people would not see through his presumption.” Deserved.—The Nelson Mail thus expresses an opinion with which we entirely coincide :—“ The Evening Post, which is fully convinced that in the whole universe there is not another town like Wellington —and in the matter of vile smells, bad water, bankruptcies, and a broken-down College, perhaps it is right—has of late been sorely exercised because the people of Wellington were kept waiting for a few hours for their English letters, in order that the large number of colonists in Taranaki, Nelson, Westlaud, and Marlborough might not be deprived of theirs for the considerable time that they would have to wait if the steamer went direct from Manukau to Port Nic, without delivering the mails at these places as it passed. These “little villages,” your contemporary thinks, ought to be completely ignored rather than that Wellington should be exposed to even the most trifling inconvenience. Was it wise, oh Post, thus to endeavour to create ill-feeling between your magnificent kite-flying city and the “little villages,” when at the time you wrote you knew that the representatives of these hamlets were likely to be asked to give you a few thousand pounds to keep alive that unfortunate institution known as the Wellington College ? A beggar when he is going to ask alms does not open his pleadings by unnecessarily insulting those upon whose charity he is dependent for his daily bread.” Painting the Ivory.— A singular story is told by the Manawatu Times anent a Chinese cook at an hotel, “not a hundred miles away from Palmerston.” A few days after his arrival, by an unlucky accident, he upset the cochineal which had been in use for colouring the Mane mange, and not wishing to apply to the landlord for a further supply, he hit upon the following happy expedient. The evening .before, the housemaid had purchased a bottle of Judson’s dye, wherewith to change the colour of her hat. Laying hold of this the ingenious Mongolian mixed it scientifically with his dish, and the consequence was that when produced at table the Mane mange was of a brilliant magenta hue. So enticing was its appearance that there was a more than usual demand for “help,” young Mountmorris, who professes to be a connoisseur, pronouncing professionally upon the excellence of its merits. When the dish had been emptied, and the diners had time to raise their eyes from their plates, the waiter was startled by hearing a simultaneous burst of laughter from those seated at table. As each loocked into the face of his vis-a-vis, instead of the usual row of ivories, there was a range of tusks red as the “king ball” at billiards. The effect was most ludicrous. Jones looked at Smith, and the smile developed into a broad grin ; while Brown, after a glance at Robinson, burst into a loud guffaw. It was excellent fun, and all thoroughly enjoyed it—for a time—but when it was discovered but too truly that the dye was “weepingand washing of teeth,” but like the warrior’s shield, “nothing could take the stains away.”