SANDY ON THE CRACK.

Mataura Ensign, Issue 1413, 19 November 1904, Page 4

SANDY ON THE CRACK.

Sandy: "Alia ! we're gumma -.lac it this time. The British "Lion's gotten its bluid up un'll no rest until she breaks dishes ! " •Janet: "Wliium dishes, Sandy? I didnu' catch " Sandy : "It was an allegory—Eeegurative. yo ton. I meant that we'll smash u[> the Jtooshins.'' Janet: "Ou aye ! Yo'r u graun' hand at smashin'. If it wis be.oU't taties yo michf liae a show—it's a' the smashin' yaur guid at ! " Sandy: "Wmiiinin. yo forget that I hac the bluid o' a sodger in me, an 3 it fair biles at insults tae the /lay. D'ye no' ken that ma L'ncle Jock wis at the Crimeea?" Janet: "Och, havers ! Ye fair seokoii me. Yo ken line. Sandy, yer Duel •look's bliiid's ran not o' the family lung ago ! You wud feeht. nae doot —wi' me tae tell ye when to lire ! Sandy: "If the nation neeilit ma help I wild rise " Janet: "Xac doot. an' sit doon again on the first doorstop ye eu-ii' tae ! " Sandy: "Aw ! Weemun hac nae patriotic spunk noondays." Janet: "Mebbo no. but they've guid common sense, whilk is just as scarce, an' that's whit Maister Balfour has, an' lie's trying tae keep /rue feehiit)', so he is.'' Sandy: "lint the olileegations o'—" Janet: "Fiddlestick ! Pit on ye'r coat an' gang awa' and toll Duffy iao send up three boxes o' Hondai Lanka Tea—live pound yins." Sandy: "JCh, lassie, whit's ivrang? Js't for time Christmas boxes?" Janet: "'Deed, aye ; did yo think it was for niejjbc sen-din' tae the Jtooshins? One box is, for the juceuistcr, une for the schulemaister, an' ane for aunty." Sandy: "But Duffy has faur cheaper s'lnlr. lie says " Janet: "Mercy, man ! if it's live his 'Pet-sweep' blond ye can tell him 1 used ii for sandin' the gairden paths." Sandy: "Ave, thon was gov fushi.mlcss." Janet: "We'll just hac the best gann—an' that's Jfondai Lanka. 1100 could ye gie less tae the man that's teach't yer bairns, an' tae Jiim that'll hue tae bury yo, nae doot, if yo'r spared, an' tae your anld .iiin'y. that's as tough as ben-lcathcr. Til guarantee if we had'na been ixpe'ciin' siller she wad " Sandy: "Wecl, wool ; ii we gie them Hondy Lanky, i'll make them grateful, onyway. Man, it's dcelicious tea, is't no'?" •Janet: "'Deed it's just the maist herlsome an' the cheapest an' the List Christmas box an' the sweetest-inst-ed, an Hey ! Sandy ! Shoo thae hens oot the gairden. an' I'll mak' a wee dra]) Hondy Lanky ce'noo. Him an' his war ! Havers !"