Boy the Ladies

Mataura Ensign, Volume 9, Issue 642, 11 February 1887, Page 7

Boy the Ladies

The great woman question — " Where does she get the money for all those new dresses ?" Six things are necessary, , to matrimonial bliss. Five of these are money, and the sixth is good cookery. The Bourke Watchman asks, " Why do girls reinain single in Australia ?" We don't know, unless it is because they don't get married. The editor who says angels are all blondes has stolen an old idea. The poet said to his best girl — " Angels are painted fair to look like thee." A Geelong girl married a man on fifteen minutes' acquaintance, because she knew if she waited till she knew him better she'd never have him. "Oh, William, is that you?" f?he yelled over the banisters aa he waltzed through the hall at midnight. " Yes. Whom else did you expect ?" '•I bless Eve for eating that apple." she said, as she stood before the mirror. " Why 1"

"Because there is such a delight in trying on a new dress when it fits well." There is a sign on a building at Port Arthur, Tasmania, which hns been read by a woman, with the aid of an electric light, five miles out to sea. It must have been a milliner's. She waa young and had a pretty face and a Gainsborough hat, but when she asked if an apiary was not a place where they kept monkeys the spell was bioken and the charm vanished. When a Melbourne girl desires to shake a lover she says — " You will greatly oblige me by making your exit." In the country, where language is scarce, the girl simply points to the door and Ba.ys — " Ta-ta." " Married but six weeks and in tears ?" exclaimed a. friend to a weeping bride. " Yes ; the first shadow has fallen athwart our pathway. It is settled at last. Either I must cease eating taffy or George must cut off his moustache." Fiist ballet girl-" Kitty Wells ia dead." Second ballet girl—" Dear me, and so young, too." First ballet girl — " Yes, she waa only eighty," Second ballet girl — " lam sorry I heard it. It will cast a gloom over my granddaughter's golden wedding." A New Zealand lady has worn one pair of ear-rings night and day for forty years. We don't think that begins to compare, as a matter of economy, with the man who wore one pair of stockings for six months. A Brisbane dude blushed and ran into a stairway when he saw a party of ladies coming down the street. He had forgotten his cane, and could not meet them in such a nude state. There is a girl in Adelaide who advertises that she will marry any man who will present her with a bauk account in her own name of £5000. To judge from external appearance, the Adelaide girl would be ex- , tremely dear at a good deal less than half the price. A girl will go to a dance and waltz several straight hours without complaining, but ask the same young lady to wrestle five minutes with a broom and s'oe'll faint before she gets both hands fairly claaped around the handle, A man at the restaurant the other day

asked one of the girls, as she was taking the pie order, a question. Aa she did not reply, he exclaimed, angrily — " Why don't you answer me?" (t Oh,"she replied, "we never speak as we pass pie." According to the French newspapers, the sprain in Sarah Berahardt's right leg was caused by her taking a false step while playing " Fedora." She is paying the penalty of growing years. When she was younger false steps did not hurt her a bit. A Sandhurst school-girl, rejoicing in the sad sweet name of Duddie Dubbs, has run away from home, and the distracted detectives are as badly lost as Duddie seems to be. If a girl with such a name as that really is lost in the bush, it seems a pity to find her again. " Why do you keep getting up and going out between the acts,"' asked an unsophisticated country maiden of a city cousin, with whom she was attending the theatre. •• Well, my dear coz," was his reply, " I don't mind telling you that I am trying to combine the delights of the evening dram with the evening drama." He rushed breathlessly into the station refreshment mom, and interviewed a Heb^. " Got any fruit?" " What sort, sir ?" " Any sorr. Gimme a bob's worth ; quick." He collare.'i his parcel and made for the train, and, when well out of the station, found he'd got — great Scott I — six lemons. That young woman is a humorist, and will get on. Sealing-wax is coming in again. But the fashion is to use a color that will give a hint as to the contents of the letter. Pink means congratulation ; white, an invitation to a wedding ; aud blue, an offer of marriage. So it comes to pa9S that the amorous youth who seals his letter with a splotch of blue is as much engaged to the girl he writes to as though he caßt himself at her feet and refused to rise unless the reply was favorable. No defence will hold against such proof. Damages will be given in accordance with the amount used. Some men boast of their superiority over women, because while a woman wears only one pocket in her dress they have a multitude of pockets in their outside garments. The . woman has the best of it, however. She can

always find her tram fare, and docs not have to blush and stammer like the man who is searching his pockets for the lone threepenny bit while the passengers are staring at him, and the conductor stands over him with his bell-punch at half-cock. No one's weak points were ever lost on Disraeli. Thus, in writing of the obstinacy of womankind, he said :— " Take the example of my wife. I had all the difficulty in the world to induce her to range herself among the women of thirty. At length she consented, but no power on earth can, after an interval of twenty years, induce her to loosen the connection." Perhaps the lady had heard of Alfred de Musset, and knew that he posed as the high priest of a creed which exalted the potent charms of la femme de trente ans.