FACTS AND FANCIES.

Mataura Ensign, Volume 7, Issue 367, 20 June 1884, Page 6

FACTS AND FANCIES.

Circumstances alter' Cases;—-^How do you and your wife gets on V\- ;» Oh,-rat*§? badly. bhe gives it me now everj time I speak, and I d thank her; not to;V v ■■i' [' Daniel O'Corinel, the Irish orator. wj« pppliedjto by a friend for' MsaUtbptAbK'h to which, lie replied.; '^Siv;i; ; never «&*! am^ phs.-Y^r S O.'Qonnel^ -, 11 f <n . Nothing hke an honest quili; -A ecieiitiae journal Starts ! an 1; editorial with :' ''Our ancestors, the "baboons; df Africa," fc6'' 'Dtiii'tM 1 • you; ever get lon^so** to aeß!?the:ol*foHtf bns . I ,^'^ n i^ r y.a7JPirl rthat ,1 pleaae^hcr said, with, a Belf-satisfied, expWpn,"\ «f i countenance. "No' dfe"" dff 'taSMfc sarcastically, f< but-what girl do^pfeasUf*^ Chey,don't ;gpeak now. • - „/■:■•• Ibnm llt ,is' rathe? rough- on, , the :fafr ,fro]uhg^ »uto|raph collector to write to ,an fttantL minded" poer fto his autograph, 1 and We^ have him, send'her a nice little note in: re^yl" 1 •11 printed on a type-writer: •:■\ •■■ i >' ■• : * \.a \ 1 "Ib genius hereditary?'!, a*ked a scientific^ journal, An editor, replies :.« Wei have, no., time the subject* but' we" aw * inclined to think that it is. At !lnil f'eV^fiV ?U uw y ??Mg^ W .^a : wonderfully 1 *smart;<"> n from the office .with his.,father* leWenL{ « you've got a poßfc card 1 from ma «\ IK* says she's met a oycloW'; «• Piiy the cyclone,*' * "St ld Sentleinan > 8 crusty- reply, m he''' jabbed h» peninto tfce.inkstßnd; of' 7,™w I Ia %, P? r West. tbei-e is very little fool-' * ing at evening parties: When a ybun 8 tenorw mvted to sing, complied, and ferilSH? applause,, he: does not, ; sfe> 4'ri fhWbm4js » insist on. going right -through; hia ientMh&H KS^-Mftl^ &»**«*•**»»» NeWchum to 1 a well known . Sydney'fegi'' gist; «Have yon • any court 'plaitLrfc #t Druggist: .« No ;ibut, heWisorae it?S « plaster. Youseejwe ,hav«no..rOynl:fawaj. j }n this country, and tkerefore.no cowt, an* ' - arid consequently no court plaster. .' It" you* 1 finger !«• cut you will; haveiidiakVa pie&of l the democratic!sarticle or: go<-«om&wb.err' else. .. , ..,,'.., ..■"■; s, ..,..,,,,- --1 Rude£ld toan>r^ saidtopawians,.! 4 crusty old bailor, "What a pity *hafc. £o<* .Id- •QWdflal < has gone 'him^'Lo^ot^ hghtas.ia terrible thing, and' the^pobr^bia r fellow^ eyes ;are quiet [closed ,WWlttLet;i him marry, then,'? {tks writhM* celibate ;," lei him marry, 'and if. that dS' 1 open his eyes, • tKeh-^theti the cafe ii' 'ixidell hopeless I" i A sayant was out.,at.|a social gathering the other eve'nmg;' tfh'ere^he was so unfor. tunate as to become Be^ed-;behind,^ Iparty1 party of young ladies. Conversatioa .turned , upon athletic subjects, wb.en'o'he l'p r ek i t <' vbbtig missj } inquired:,,« Professor,': what r.is iybttr ' favourite exejcis^j',;, |«Qh, Ijhaye bo pre-A ference; but just at present I should: prefer,dumb belles," was the rather curl; reply ' '" Domestic Affliction/- A girlin 'onteoHne pubhc-..schools applied to> her.'teacherif(Jr> leave to be absent half, a day on the pleMhaJT they, had company at Lome.: The^ teachet.. referred'to the^ Jrinted^ist bf reatonMl * the school committedthiiik! sfficientto^l-"' fy absence and asked her; if her caee • eaffle^ under any, of them,-. She naiyely replied^ j An iidiot; in iayender iids im^'i-blue Jou^ was ßeated yesidfe.a yo^g .lady who!'«■" .readanga'book. ■-1 '■>.> .••.•!;.'• • "•.."•■n^a ;.'■ summer d,.y,,,1aV downs rr m the shade l., and'sdon fell wJeL^JSJ , awakened by'the' noise 'of & huge 'bull'St"' .prpacMmghap. shady resting.place ' ■ r'^-''' f down^^^ - , " WeU,n«rid*he'. bull, looking 1 idn OQMM°t hlfl afer 9iciou|Sklfiv his left eye; which made she. doß'sriDiM never^mble jV and h^e walkedS^M^fc , Moral: Virtue has its own rewards ',j 4 AGirlwitli tender Feet'.' >" <"■'- Mrs Parvenu had recently furnished M ' d^' n6 '"'^ dA ■' .*!&» *w v . "Indeed 1 Isn?t she well f"" ': - ' : -l >-^t "Qh ?&> ?ell enough; BQt r' yoa Me ' it" • ' " Forgot' Soniething. ,' ; if:!: :lfliti 'Little ■ Johnnie is six' years nu' -i^ I!''' '° always been-taught To > „qu leaving, the table..Thtfo&erdty»hi 'Sth N »r sajsai ifad «•**** **t.: t I° U for^ 801?letb^g^did a»fcytt li;^h'h# USlSft*" hat y<>u 'w^:: «°^ '^w" puddmg. .. , ......[.,{ j IS -iir-.rtf :uio »lf*« ■fLOTcefLette^j n uf-.v hi MiKna If thou, Miss, wouldst L E V S •' ° ! •■ A» d f me no | .^jWel^ f4O. l8 f ],;-....:, „>/* Say £hou art not mine lf;3tf B-' ; )H; W:(; • . Trtie loyeiiiit'g.M: N CT •'•• -ton-i-w.-n .. ■My.boJdpeßßim ,Mt^iQ tlSr^liiMHv Il!„.i So let no ET M 0 G1? -i, •,: -i k Thy beaul|y,aj<idXl*.N Or. i. ,ti'-.-i u■'." .v«I . Myefferta-«r*?l^LK( BL. ..i ..... „>/ '" ' ■TQth^fromin'esh^l^^ ' !|i '^ And if I love with N..R Gt ' •'.' • „ Ascribeit to' ay^T GJ' rn 'n r t .;< i ' 1'" >'-"- Mi''- ••■■■{'r