"HOWLERS"

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 4486, 24 September 1940, Page 4

"HOWLERS"

LETTERS TO GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENT! Declared to. be absolutely authentic extracts from the multitude of letters received from a certain State Department in Sydney, the following indicate most remarkable, and lamentable lack of knowledge of the English. 1 language: — I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why this is -so? This is my eight child. What are you going to do about it? Mrs Brawn has had no clothes for a year, and has been regularly visited bv the clergy. 'I am glad to say that my husband who was reported missing, is now deceased.

Sir. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my two children, one of which is a mistake as you will see. I am writing to tell you my baby was born two years old. When do I get the money. Unless I get my husband's money, I will bo forced to lead an immortal life. 1 am writing these few lines for Mrs Jones, who cannot write herself. She expects to be confined next week and can do with it. I am sending ray marriage certificate and six children. I had seven and one died, which we baptised on a half sheet of note paper. Please find out for certain if my husband is now dead, as the man I

am living with won’t cat or do anything until ho finds out for certain. I am very annoyed to find that you have branded by eldest son illiterate. Oh! it is a dirty lie. because I married his father a wee kbofore he was born. My son has been in change of ti. spittloon. ,l>o I get the money ? In .answer to your letter. I have given birth to a boy_ weighing ten pounds. I hope this is satisfactory. .You have changed my little boy into ,a girl. Will tins make any dill'erence ?

Plcva.sc send my money at once, as I cieed it badly. I have fallen in errors with il.lic landlord. I have no children yet. My husband lis a bus driver and works day and night. In (accordance with your instructions. 1 have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope. I want my money as ciuickly as you can send .it. I have been in bed with the doctor for a week, and he does not seem to be doing my much good. If things do not improve, I shall have to send for another doctor.