AUSTRALIAN TOPICS

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 4015, 1 September 1931, Page 7

AUSTRALIAN TOPICS

ELECTION POSES SYDNEY, August 14. To the innocent bystander there is something amusing about the varying moods of political Ministers. In midsession those personages are usually lull of superior aplomb. They strut like so many understudies of Moses bringing down the tablets of the law from the thunders of Sinai. But when an election is in the offing the hauteur slips slyly from them. They become human —almost too human. They have a vibrant handshake for Tom, Dick, and Algernon. Bonhomie beams from their shrewd eyes. Babies go daily in danger of being kissed by them. Things are not quite so bad as that to-day in Canberra. But the Senate at least has an election in sight, and some of its mem hers are posing quite impressively on the floor of that exalted Chamber. Their constituents, of course, are expected to note such heroics, and so be readv when the time arrives to vote solidlv for the poseurs and thus once more"save this “ fair young democracy of our Mr Chairman ” from the malign schemes of the other fellow. it might be thought thut this joke had long been carried too far. 13ut the old tricks of the trade somehow seem to work as well to-day as they did at the beginning of parliamentary life. The quiet, observant folk, of course, see through the pose. But the groundlings are tickled into timely hurrahs for” the pirouetting politicians. RECORD CONVERSION. If the approach of an election makes amusing antics, more so does the arrival of a big loan conversion appeal such as is now wooing Australia. Part of the concerted plan agreed to by the Premiers’ Conference to lift Australia out of the financial bog involves a “ voluntary ” reduction in the rates of interest on all Commonwealth and State securities. The word voluntary ” is in inverted commas because if the bondholders do not convert voluntarily thev will jolly well be made to shoulder that self-denying ordinance; though nothing so uncouth is being uttered in the present nation-wide campaign to convert the \ ast sum of £556.000,000—0ne of the greatest conversion schemes in the world’s financial historv. No, indeed; only nice things are now being said by the Ministerial mentors. Patriotism is being mouthed, appeals surge forth to the people s nobler instincts. And to create the right atmosphere for such a conversion bickering has suddenly stopped in the seven Australian Parliaments. Instead of Oppositions treading on the tails of Governments' trailing coats the politicians are beaming upon one another with all the naivete of genteel little playmates. This loan conversion —or conversion loan—of £556,000.000 is an urgent necessity. It will hit hard some thrifty old folk who have trusted their small 1 fe savings to their respective Governments. But economy must cut bondholders’ interest as ruthlessly as it cuts wages. That is the one sad, stubborn fact of the present situation. Most bondholders realise the necessity of cutting their interest. But many naturally wonder whether the conversion will work the miracle the Ministers now promise. The fact is the mass of the people have no faith in their pohtical machines. Individually the politician may be a good husband and father, may pay his income tax regularly, and live in as much tear as any other man of going bald. But as a cog in a party machine he is not trusted so far as sincerity is concerned. hrom hard experience the people have learned that such machines are deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. So even in this timely and necessary con version campaign many bondholders are wondering whether a swindle lurks somewhere in the works. And the more oratorical the Ministers wax over the wonderful effects of such a comer sion—it can only ease Australia s inter mil debt—the more dubious grows the populace as to the speakers’ wholehearted honesty. Being a necessity there is no doubt about the conversion being ultimately carried through. -But it will be accomplished in spite or not because of—the patronage given it by the politicians.

DOING THE DIRTY WORK. Once there actually appeared a.newspaper advertisement for an electric washer: “Don’t kill your wife with hard labour; let us do the dirty work. Parliaments have since improved upon such grim humour. Whenever there is some hard iob to he tackled—something that will win more kicks than kudos—they appoint a highly-paid committee, or commission, or institute to do the dirty work. So habitual has this “ passing the buck ” become that the Premiers’ Conference has just handed over to a permanent, and, of course, costly, committee the tough job of finding jobs for Australia s myriad out-of-works. These conferring Premiers rightly decry the growing dole menace that saps the morale, and turns husky men into cadgers. They even admit that the best way to fight unemployment is to encourage private industry. Having made such sage announcements, they smugly hand over the reponsibility to a permanent committee. That committee will soon be jaunting over the Commonwealth, taking evidence, making reports that will be politely pigeon-holed, running up travelling expenses, and otherwise behaving as such a committee should by all the rules of the ruinous game. The advantage of this permanent committee business is twofold. It enables the Premier-: to pose as earnest solvents of the great unemployed problem. It also provides soft jobs for the tew fortunate men who form the privileged committee As for really helping the unemployed—well, that, of course, will lak? time and several other things besides, such a« money. Instead of setting up this committee, the Premiers should directly encourage industry by lifting some of the stifling tax-load off prostrate industry’s chest. PARROT BURGLAR ALARMS. Though psittacosis is not a disease to be trifled with, more than one Australian citizen applauds the praise of the parrot just uttered by the senior officer of the British Ministry of Health. Recently a young green South American pet parrot acted as an effective burglar alarm for its Sydney owner. And a couple of “ Cockies in a Sydney cafe tried to render a similar service—amd nearly got their dutiful necks wrung by the exasperated shopbreakers. The parrot is one of the