Page 2 Advertisements Column 2

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 2929, 1 August 1911, Page 2

"More trouble," sighed Murphy, putting on his coat. "If it ain't one thin? it's another." "What's the matter now ? queried his good wife. "More labour troubles," answered Murphy. ; "Not another lock-out, I hope ?" said the partner of his sorrows. "No, it's worse than that," ansi wered the alleged head of the house. I "The boss has yielded, and I've got i to go to work again !" . • A boy was one day telling his companions about a great dinner at which he was present. He told them about the lovely things he had to eat. "And I suppose ye had napkins?" said a bystander. • "We had, of course," he answered ; "the finest you ever tasted." "Sec here, waiter," said Mr (Jrouch scnwWns; deeply over his plate, "I ordered turtle soup. There is not a morsel of turtle flavour in this." "Of course not," returned the waiter. "What do you expect? Shakespeare said there was nothing in a name. If you ordered college pudding would you expect a college in it ? In Manchester pudding would you look, for a ship canal or a Cotton Exchange ? Any tea, sir ?" John Simple : "What is the worst sell, Bill Sharper, that you have experienced during your long and exciting career ?" Prisoner : "The worst cell I ever got was No. 24 at Portland prison last year for stealing a pair of boots." The waitress was looking absentmindedly at him, and the immaculate youth was under the impression that he had succeeded in making a conquest. "A penny for your thoughts, G«rtie," he said, gaily. "I was just wondering," replied the waitress, innocently, "whether yoi were a steak pudding, a curried fowl, or a stewed rabbit." 1769