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Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 2280, 29 September 1899, Page 4

'John,' she said, 'you ought to punish that boy.' ' What's the matter with him ?' he asked. ' He's altogether too dictatorial,' she replied. 'He wants to rule everything." ' Oh, well,' he replied, ' let him enjoy himself while he may. He'll marry some day, and that'll end it.' Talkative Lady (to fireman): 'And what is that strap that goes under your chin for Fireman : ' This strap, madam, iB given to us to rest our chins when our jaws get tired of answering questions.' ' My dear,' said a repentant husband to his wife, 4 if I have ever used any unkind words to you, 1 take them all back.' 'No, }ou won't. I know you. You want to use them all over again,' she replied. Biggins : 'So you are a victim of insomnia ?' What do you take for it V Wiggins: 'Oh, anything that comes to hand ; sometimes an empty bottle, sometimes a hair brush or a bootjack. It is the cat's insomnia I'm the victim of, you know.' The Young Wife: 'I am afraid Tom was intoxicated last night.' Sympathising Friend : ' He didn't go to bed with his shoes on, did he V The Young Wife: 'No; but he took them off and tucked them under his pillow.' Benedict: 'My wife was rather worried when I left her this morning.' Friend : ' What was the trouble V Benedict : ' Well, she had been worrying about something or other last night, and this morning she couldn't remember what it was.' He (at parting): '0 Edith, you have broken my ' She (interrupting) : 'Not your heart, surely i' He (sadly): 'No; my whole pocketful of cigars.' Louie : ' Fred must be an auctioneer.' Nelly : ' Why V Louie: 'Last night ho said he was going tlnee times before he went.' 'I understand that when t hose fellows down at the Domain wanted to argue with you, you dudged,' said the committeeman. ' Had to,' the campaign orator admitted. 'They wanted to argue with egki*.