AN EXTRAORDINARY CHARACTER.
When a fat woman and a raau, who lookel as though he had recently passed through grejt expo ure, entered a New York cable car, a fellow who had appirently bien aseep got up, and g-abbed bis way from strap to strap unt l he sto d opposite the woman.
" Madam," said he, " you are entitled to my sympathy, and I cheerfully give it ti you." ' I (1 .n't know why you r.rod to sympa'hise wi'h me," the woman snapped. "You do know, mad—mad an, but the in—innate modesty of woman's nature b'ds you con—conceal it. Your husband —for such I take him to be—is pretty full, and a wornan whose husband is pretty, full cm always hive her drafts of sympathy hon—honoured at the bank of my gentle nature." " What do you mean?J* the woman's husband demanded. " I rnenn that you are drunk." " Well, its none of your business if I am, and beside 3 that, I ain't any drunker than you a e." " Cap'u," said the pympithiper, "as the impudent dis—discoverer of something that I've been trying to keep concealed, even from myself, you've got me to whip, and I now in—iuvite you to step off this car." " He's not gonin' to do no such thing," the woman (xclaimed, seit'ng his coac tail, as he arose to accept the invitation. "He shan't be making a show of himself; and I want to tell you right here that if you don't mind I'll have you arrested." " Madam, that would be making an embarrassing spec—spectacle of me, and a reveDgeful creature of yourself. I ' " Oh, sit down," said the husband, " you're all rigl t " "My friend," said the aympa'hiser, "as the dis —discovery of something that I have been trying to bring out in striking illustration, you are deserving of reward. We'll get off here and take a drink."
" All right, I am with you, world without end," and he would have been too, but the woman seized the tail of his coat and gave it so etroDg a pull that she almost ripped it off. " You're not going to get off this car to get a drink. Do you understand 1" " Now, Mag, what's the use in being so foolish 1 This man is my friend and he wants to throw business in my way. Let me get off here and I'll meet you at Lincoln monument."
" You aro not going " " Hut what's the use in hatnperin' me this way ? The larger a man's circle of acquaintance is, the better his business prospects are. Let me get off." " Sit down, I tell you."
" Madam," sa'd the new-found friend, " no man ad—ad —mires the determination of woman more than 1 do, but 1 never allow her to cir—circumvent the flights of my genius. lam prepared." He took out a bottle and smilingly handed it to bis friend, but the woman seized it and threw it through a window. The husband uttered a spasmodic sort of cry, but the friend, still unruffled, said—
" But I never allow a woman to cir-circumvei.t the flights of my genius. The first bottle was a decoy, filled with a worthlesi and insipid fluid, but this one holds the old. stuff." He took out another bottle and held it until his new friend had taken a " long pull," then, bowing as he sat down, said—
" Madam, having'discharged my duty, ! I will now take a resentful and much | needed nap. Whenever you feel that your courage has returned—whenever you feel that you can circumvent the wild and unexpected flights of my geniuß, whisper the words, ' Little
Willie,' and I will, like the beautiful dreamer, awake unto thee. Uutil then, farewell."
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Bibliographic details
Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 1860, 26 February 1892, Page 4
Word Count
616AN EXTRAORDINARY CHARACTER. Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 1860, 26 February 1892, Page 4
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