A STINGY HOST.

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 1519, 12 February 1886, Page 3

A STINGY HOST.

. J. C. Vnunn ia responsible for the following —One lovely summer's dnv [Theodore Hock] was strolling in company with Mr B in the garden of the fl'ar and Garter at Richmond, when liis friend was accosted by two genllemen, one of whom was a noble Lord equally remarkable for his colonial fortune, occasional muni Hence, and general parsimony. While the three conversed together, Hook slowly walked asid**. The noble Peer observing him, asked B who was his friend. "Oh, that is Theodore Hook," was his reply. On hearing the well-known name, my Lord exclaimed, " You don't say so ! What good fortune ! He is a man of all others whom I desire to know. Pray do introduce me to him." The introduction takes place, and "the marquis tells Hook that be and his friend, Lordare going to lunch, and if he and B

will join them in a partie caree, he shall be delighted. Hook, never insensible to the attractions of the table, and persuaded, from the high rank and great wealth of the inviter, that he should fare sumptuously, yielded a cordial and gratified acceptance, and adjourned to the apartment occupied by his recent acquaintance. On entering the room the bell is rung, and on the waiter making his appearance, the host takes him aside and s»ives him certain instructions, about the nature of which the two just invito;! guests have no doubts. Two additional napkins are laid, two additional chairs are set, two additional wine-glasses grace the board, two pickle-stands one with red cabbage and the other with pickled onionH — take their place in the centre of the table. Hook is rather disconcerted at the sight of merely one small sherry inlaws being allotted to each person, but comforts himself with the reflection that the champagne-glasses will be introduced alter a few preliminary passes of Amontillado. At last the banquet is set, the coders are taken off two willow-pattern dishes, one containing four goodly loin chops, the other four fine mealy potatoes, arid a pint deca-iter of sherry crowns the meal. " Well," thought Hook, " 1 am not cort.-iiu that this simple kind ot repast is not the best for lunch, and I like the fashion of having one's chop hot and hot, and a change of wines, instead of being confined to one !" In a few minutes every knife and fork is laid down, every chop and potato has been despatched, and just as Hook is expecting a fresh relay of wine and viand, to hie unutterable disgust his entertainer addresses him in the following language : —" My dear Mr Hook ! I hope you will forgive me, but I have so very often beard of your marvellous talent, that I am naturally impatient for an exhibition of it. Would you favour us with a song ?" " Oil," said the man appealed to, " with pleasure !" To the indescribable astonishment of all present he beg'ns to sing " God save the King." As he delivered each line, his host looked to his intimate friend for something like sympathy—" What on earth can the man mean by singing us the National Anthem r" However his move was feoon explained, for on coming to the following lines —

Happy and glorious, Long to reign over us."

he thus rendered them, delivering the words as if under the influence of too much liquor — Hnpp-y and glorious,

A pint —between four of us." This, I think (adds Young), was a case of" Chop with Worcester sauce," lersus " Cheek, with Eulham sauce."