PUTTING IT STRAIGHT.

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 1518, 5 February 1886, Page 3

PUTTING IT STRAIGHT.

We find in our exchanges two lair specimens of the American way of putting things, especially when it is desired to do so in a deferential, gentlemanly, and pesfectly truthful manner:

Kecently at the railway eating-house at , where passengers take hurried refreshment, a traveller found three flies iu hie tea. He called the waiter to him, and said: " \""U are in error about me. You evidently thiuk lam travelling iu a special car, aud putting on a great deal of dog. I'm tiding second-cla*s, without baggage, and am only entitled to one fly. Give this cup to that big fat man at the corner table, lie is a director of the road, and is entitled to three flies in his tea, and a dead cockroich between his pancakes. 1 can-not travel second class and usurp the rights of tirst-chws passengers. Please pass lie entomological mustard before you go, and set the adamantine prines where I can reach them ; I may want to throw one at the huidwaiter occasionally to attract his attention. The other instance is described in the .New Orleans Tiaics, where an uufortunate woman, but perfect lady, found her husband lying in a state of of intoxication in an alley. Instead of being exasperated, she gently turned him over to ft comfortable position, put her hand in his vent pocket, extracted a twenty-dollar bill and remarked, "I reckou I've got the dead wood on that new bonnet I've been suffenn' for." Sie made a straight streak for the nearest millenary shop, Strongmen wiped the moisture from; their eyes at her heroic devotion to a ! husband who had by strong driuk i brought himself so low as to neglect to! provide his wife with the common | necessaries of lite.