THE LIEUTENANT’S ADVENTURE.

Lyttelton Times, Volume CV, Issue 12536, 25 June 1901, Page 2

THE LIEUTENANT’S ADVENTURE.

At the commencement of the Transvaal War I was sent io Bingley as a civilian clerk. Bingley is the depot of the East Eankshire Regiment, and on account of tno war the Militia battalions were stationed there. I rather pride myself upon my aristocratic appearance, and I always dress rather smartly; therefore I was not pinch surprised when the sentry on guard mistook me for an officer and saluted me as I entered the barracks. Of course I looked unconcerned, and returned the salute in an official, off-hand manner. There was in the same office as myself another civilian clerk, a very decent sort of fellow; but he would insist upon wearing a turn-down collar. I overlooked this, however, and we rubbed along very well together. I, of course, pointed out to him the many advantages of wearing a high collar, telling him how I had,been mistaken for an officer, and' bad been saluted as one on several occasions. He said that if such were the case he would try one, and the next morning he showed up wearing a collar about two and a half , inches high. That morning he was very quiet, and I thought that something must have upset him. I learnt at dinnertime what this was. It appears that when he had come into barracks in the morning, a soldier who had been at the depot for several years was on guard, and just as he was coming in the gates this soldier had put his hand up to his head to knock off a fly. Collins thought that he was saluting him and saluted in return. The soldier burst out laughing and told, him that he (the soldier) was not an officer. Collins seemed to think it was my fault, and was quite nasty about it. When the dancing season commenced Collins and myself were invited to a ball to be held in a neighbouring town, and of course we went. I was in evening dress, and (though I say it myself) I looked more aristocratic than ever. ’ There was one girl there with whom I danced, a very superior girl, and I took to her at once. I had been told that she was a Miss Myens, and had an income of about £2OOO a year. Now, I thought, if she knows I am a civilian clerk,' earning about £75 a year, she will naturally treat me with a certain amount of indifference, so I got Collins, who said he knew her quite well, to introduce me to her as Lieutenant Bates, of the East Rankshire Regiment. He consented to do so, but remarked in that nasty sarcastic maimer of his that “I must not be disappointed if she did not believe it.” So it came about that I was introduced to her as Lieutenant Bates, and danced with her several times, and upon leaving she expressed a wish that we should meet again. It was about three weeks after this ball that I again met Miss Myers. It was at a reception, and I had a long talk with her, and when I went home that night I was desperately in love with her, but I thought that my suit was hopeless. For, was she not a heiress and I a miserable clerk? I was, I’ll confess, attracted by her fortune, and had she been poor I might have acted differently, bub I had always said that I intended to marry a girl with money. She actually arranged to meet me on the Wednesday following the reception, so I believed that at least she liked me.

Well, we met, and I got along swimmingly. I now regretted very much deceiving her as regarded my position, and when she spoke about the Army I was in a terrible fix for fear she should ask mesomo question that I should not bo able to answer. She continued to know me, however, as Lieutenant Bates, and I dared not now tell her differently. Well, things went on like this for more than a month, during which time I met her on several occasions. One evening when I met her she told me that she was to Bingley on the following Wednesday, and it I wished she would meet me there; “that is,” she added, “if you can spare the time. I know you officers have so much to do now that this awful war is on.”

I said that a hundred 1 wars would nob prevent me from seeing her. “I can ask the staff-sergeant to let that is, I can excuse myself from mess,” I hastily added. “ Oh!” she said, “ I have never seen you in uniform yet, and I should so like to see you. Will you wear your regimentals next Wednesday?” “Air!—yes,” I answered. “Of course, if you wish it.” I went back to Bingley, nob .knowing what the dickens to do! I was not allowed to wear uniform, and if she knew anything about military matters she would notice that none of the soldiers that we were bound to meet saluted me, I was determined ‘ not to give her up without a struggle, so I decided that, at all risks, I must see her on the following Wednesday. The first thing to do was to borrow some uniform. Fortunately, I knew a sergeant in the Amy Pay Corps, and, that uniform not being a common one, I asked him if he would lend it to me, telling him that I required the things for some private theatricals. He lent them to me, and on the Wednesday I took them round to, my lodgings and asked my landlady to remove the three stripes from the am of the tunic.

I Lad arranged to meet Miss Myers at tLree o’clock, so, after having my dinner, I went back to the office for an honr. Suddenly a brilliant idea occurred to me. At the depot there were dozens of recruits who would do anything for a few coppers ; why not get two or three of them to wait at a comer and salute me as we passed? I went across to the canteen and picked out three raw recruits, and asked them if they would like to earn a bob. They were only too glad of the opportunity, and; I gave them instructions to wait outside a certain publicbouse, and when myself and a young lady appeared to salute me, as though I were an officer. They winked, and, putting the shillings in their pockets, gave the characteristic answer, “ Nob ’arf.”

..Haying everything arranged I went back to my lodgings and got into the uniform —it fitted me like a glove—and I was quite proud of my military appearance. Punctually at three o’clock I was at the station waiting for Miss Myers. About three minutes after that time her train arrived, and she stepped out, and her face quite lighted up when she saw me. “ Oh! you look ever so nice in uniform —perfectly sweet,” she exclaimed; “ bub where is your sword? I always thought that officers wore swords!”

“ Oh! —er —no —yes; it has gone to be sharpened, on account of the war, you know,” I answered, in confusion. Things went fairly smoothly after this until we approached the comer where I had told the recruits to wait. They were there, sure enough, but they were waiting with such looks of ridiculous expectancy that I felt sure Miss Myers would see that it was a “ plant.” “ Whatever is the matter with those soldiers at the corner?” asked Miss Myers.

“ OJi!” I.replied, “ they are only recruits, and. . are tremendously frightened -when they see "an officer. Some of them have been put in the guard-room for not saluting, and that makes them very careful; you know.” We reached the corner where the recruits were standing, and they stood to attention and saluted. I returned the salute in a casual, ofi-hand manner, as though it was the most common thing in the world for me to bo saluted. “How nice it must be to have so much respect shown you,” said Miss Myers. “ One gets sick of so much of it,” I replied. “It is" a beastly nuisance to keep constantly touching one’s helmet to every soldier one meets.” “Do you know, Mr Bates, I have never noticed the soldiers salute you when we have been out before?”

“No; that’s because I was in ordinary clothing, and not having been long at the depot they do not yet know me without my uniform.” I was simply perspiring with apprehension. Whatever question would sue ask next? What I did see when we turned the corner made me ten times worse, for there stood the sergeant who had lent me the uniform, the man whom I had told that 1 >ed it for some theatricals. Be-

fore I had lime to make some excuse for turning back ho caught sight of me. He stood still for a moment in astonishment, and then pointed over his shoulder to the public-house, as much as to say “ Come and have one.” I had the presence, of mind to touch my forehead as though lie had saluted, and passed on.

For an hour we were shopping, and then I suggested that We should l walk bo the next station on tho line, a distance of about four miles, and that she should take train from there. She was delighted with the proposal, and we accordingly started. Some “ arrow of outrageous fortune” seemed to have made me its mark that day, for scarcely had we started before I saw coming down the road one of those wretched recruits, in a pitiful state of intoxication. The shilling that I had given him had been responsible for this. I prayed that he might not recognise me, but he did, and bawled across the road: — “ I say, guv’nor —you with the sergeant’s clothes on—is it all right for another bob, for another touch of the ” I hurried on, completely crushed by this latest exposure. I know that Miss Myers asked me something about what he meant, and I made some sort of reply about “ taking me for someone else,” and I should “ put him in the guard-room in the morning.” I could not go on like this; I was sure to be found out, so I determined to do a very bold thing, to tell her everything, who I really was and 1 then to propose to her. We walked along for some time in silence. I was terribly embarrassed, and even Miss Myers seemed to be nervous and apprehensive. I wondered if she would be very angry at my deceit. I saw the vision of £2OOO a year disappearing before my eyes, then I thought that, if she really cared for me, she would not mind my position.

Suddenly I plucked up courage and commenced, “Miss Myers, I have something very serious to say to you, and really—l—don’t know where to begin.” “Oh! Mr Bates, I—l am sorry I—-I really did not intend to—to—l can see that you know—;—” She here actually began to cry as though it was her that was to blame. I did my best to console her, and when she was somewhat calm I began again: “ I have deceived you, Miss Myers, by telling you that I am an officer. I am merely a civilian clerk, earning about £76 a year. Let my love for you be the excuse for my conduct. Yes, I love you—and —I am sure w r e could be very happy together; and—er—l want you to be my wife. Do not think that I am tempted by any mercenary consideration, for were you as poor as ”

Her head was resting on my shoulder and she did not answer. I was encouraged, and was about to renew my protestations of love when I felt her shaking. At first I thought that she was sobbing, but the next moment I found that it was laughter that was causing it. “Oh! Mr Bates. It is so funny, very funny indeed. I ——” “You may find it funny,” I answered, “ but if you only knew how ” “It is not that,” she answered, “but all the time I have been doing the same thing as you. I have been deceiving you, and I am so sorry, indeed I am, but let my love be the excuse for my •” “ Whatever do you mean?” I asked. “Well,” she answered, "I am not Miss Myers at all. lam only her—or—-cook. Your friend could not have known Miss Myers much, but I am supposed to be very much like her, and I thought that I should never see you again, so when you mistook me for Mias Myers I did not trouble to enlighten you. I suppose we can cry quits, can’t we?” For several minutes 1 did not speak; I was dumbfounded. But what could I do but marry her?