A PLEASANT LITTLE VALENTINE.

Lyttelton Times, Volume CV, Issue 12536, 25 June 1901, Page 3

A PLEASANT LITTLE VALENTINE.

(London Truth.) Polly Pilkins was a girl in a West End flower shop. Sh© was uncommonly pretty, of the baby-face type, with an expression of artless simplicity that was infinitely sweet and engaging. But, in point of fact. Miss Polly was considerably cuter than she looked, 'as some gentlemen who had flirted with her had reason to know. “Take my advice, dear boy, and keep clear of that artful little minx,” was the advice given to me by a considerate pal, who himself had once singed his wings at Polly’s flame and imagined that I was in like peril. I thanked him, but assured him that the caution was unnecessary. I flatter myself upon a full complement of buttons. But Tommy Hyslop, whose affair with this flower girl I am about to relate, was not so well equipped. Tommy had a good deal more susceptibility than sense, and a good deal more money than worldly experience. Yob nothing annoyed him so much as the hare suggestion, however friendly and delicately put, that his wisdom fell a little short of that of the serpent, or_ that there was still ‘room for expansion in his knowledge of the world. Of good advice—but. that is nothing unusual —he was utterly impatient. He always thought—nor is that unusual either—that he knew best. So when his prudent friends cautioned Mm against Polly, he rejectedtheir warnings with derisive contempt., “Thanks,” he said. “I think I know the time of day, and can look after myself.” , • “ Well, I hope you won’t get landed—that’s all,” replied the man who had warned him, ini an ominous tone. “Landed? What the devil do yon mean?” “My dear chap, I had sized up Polly long before yon ever saw hex. She encourages her gentlemen admirers with a strict eye to business. Ob, no; not the business of flower selling. Polly has far grander aims than that. She means to secure a rich husband. That is what she’s after.” '

“ And do yon, may I ask, insinuate,” inquired Hystop contemptuously, “ that there is anv likelihood of her securing me in that capacity?” “I think there’s the risk of it—if you don’t look out.” The other laughed aloud. “ Good Lord! A flower girl 1 Fancy me marrying a flower girl!” “ That is hardly *tn«> point,” said Mentor, dryly. “The danger is lest the flower girl should marry' you.” “ Oh! skittles!” scoffed Hyslop. “Well, if that event should happen,” struck in another, jocularly—a young solicitor named Butters, who was of the party—“you might remember me and bring your settlements to he drawn in my office, dear boy.” “ I’ll not forget you, Butters—when the occasion arises,” answered Tommy Hyslop, with mock gravity. He regarded the very possibility of anything serious arising out of his flirtation with Polly Pilkins as too preposterous to be worth a moment’s thought. But in that he showed his folly. There is always the risk of serious consequences arising out of any flirtation with any girl. Take an old word for that. But in the case of an artful girl like_ Polly Pilkins, the risk is particularly formidable, and all one-sided, too; since, if she wants to get rid of you at any time, she can do so with perfect crr-e and safety by the simple process of giving you your conge; whereas, if you want to,get rid of her, and she does not mean to be got rid of, the process (to put it mildly) is neither safe nor simple. A burr on your trousers is difficult to dislodge; so are- hay-seeds in your stockings; so is London mud upon your collar; but far more difficult than all is an adhesive girl. That is what Hyslop’s friends were constantly pointing out to him, until, when they found that he would not pay any at-, tention, they left him at length to his own devices. But it was not long before he had reason to be sorry that he had not listened to their prudent counsels. ' Some time just at the end of January in last year he and Polly Pilkins had a bit of a tiff. . It was in connection with another admirer of Polly’s, an overdressed young Hebrew rejoicing in the name of Joseph, who was the son of a wealthy pawnbroker, but was aspiring to raise himself in the social scale by going to the Bar. Hyslop regarded the fellow as an obnoxious and unspeakable cad, which, in point of fact, he was. And he was quite angry with Polly for having anything to do with him. On this particular occasion . our friend had come to ask Polly whether she would go out on the river with him the following (Sunday) afternoon, and when she replied that she had promised to go for a drive with Mr Joseph, he made no secret of his annoyance. “‘I wish to goodness you’d send that little beast about his business,” he said, irritably. Polly tossed her head and flushed up. I’m quite kipeable of choosing my own friends, thank you,” she retorted, “ and I’d tike it as a fivor if you’d not allude to them as * little beasts.’ ” “Oh, of course, if you choose that little bounder in preference to me ” “ I didn’t say I did choose him in preference to you. But a gurl may have more than one friend, I suppose.” “Fifty, if she likes,” answer>ed Hyslop, further annoyed by the sight _ of a new brooch Polly was wearing, which he suspected (correctly)' that Joseph had given her. “But she must not then be surprised if some of them decline the honour of making one in such a crowd. of admirers, and » “What do you mean?” interposed Polly, beginning to breathe short. “ Mean ? Well, to put it plainly, this : I don’t think it is good enough to have to play see-saw with a little cad like Joseph. And if he remains on one end of the plank, all I can say is ,»ou must get someone else to take my place on the other.” Polly pursed up her lips and a dangerous light flashed in her black eyes. She did not, however, answer on the instant. She was reflecting. Even in moments of temper Polly was not the girl to lose her head, and now she shrewdly calculated her best course. Should she give in to Hyslop? She decided not. For one thing, it would be a bad precedent. For another, it would weaken her control of him, and perhaps defeat the very object which she had in view when she admitted- Joseph to her favour. She had, in fact, intended to use the latter as a lever wherewith to force a proposal from Hyslop. And it was essential to this design that Hyslop should not be all&wed to suppose that he had it all his own. way with her. So she retorted, defiantly: “ Ow, very well, if you down’t like your plice at one end of the plank, I can easily find them as will.” “Find them, then,” cried Tommy Hyslop, savagely. And he flung himself, in a fever of rage, out of the shop. “ I sy, Miss Pilkins,” remarked Miss Jones, another assistant, to her friend, when Tommy had gone, “ wag it" wise of yer, dy’e think, to send him orf like that? They sy he has a thousand a year.” “Twelve hundred, Miss Jownes, to be exact,” answered Polly, with a superior air. ‘“Ow, yes I I Took the right course with him, my dear. The ownly wy was to show him as I was mistress:. He’ll come back before long and e ;; t humble pie and Warnt to mike it up. And I’ll be friends agine, as a great fivor. And after that, that twelve hundred a year is as good as mine,” added candid Polly, with her metallic laugh. “ But s’posin’ he down’t come back,” suggested Miss Jones. “ S’posin’ he down’t—of which, however, I see nao fear—l guess I shall know how to deal with my lord,” said Polly Pilkins. For a whole fortnight To.nmy Hyslop stopped away. He told all his friends that he' had done for ever with Poliy, and his friends applauded him. But their applause,

after all, was somewhat premature. Toward the end of the fortnight Tommy’s resolution began to waver, and by the conclusion of that period it had taken, to its heels and run clean away. The truth was, he was more seriously enamoured of Miss Pilkins than he had been at all aware. He was very miserable deprived of her society; life was insupportable without it. Tlia day on which he arrived at this conclusion chanced to be Feb. 13, and, noting the date, it occurred to him that tomorrow, Valentine’s Day, would afford an excellent opportunity for making up his quarrel with Polly. He, would buy her a handsome present'—something in the diamond line—take it round to her the next morning and present it as a valentine and a peace-offering. No sooner conceived than put in practice. He went out, and invested £25 in a diamond ring. He knew that Polly loved diamonds. He was sure that this would melt her heart. One or two of his friends to whom, in the communicative fervour of his reconciled feelings towards Polly, he showed it, were of the same opinion. Thfey declared that it was a thing Miss Pilkins could not possibly resist. But they were unaware, as Hyslop himself was unaware, how ruthlessly vindictive that young person could be, and what a valentine she had in store for him on the morrow. Next morning, at about ten o’clock, while he was still at breakfast, a message was brought up to him that a young man had called and-, wished to see him. “Wouldn't give no name,” said the slavey who brought the message. “ But sez as his' business is most pertik’ler, and h© must see yoti yerself.” “Show him up, then,” said Hyslop. The young man was shown up—a re-spectable-dressed young fellow, who looked like a clerk. He waited until the slavey had shut the door behind her, then, he produced a document from his breastpocket, which be handed to Hyslop. “ That’s a copy, sir,” he said. “ I have the original, if you would like to look at it.”

“What the deuce is it?” inquired Tommy, unfolding the document, and glancing over it. “Halloa I Good

Heavens! What’s this? A writ Mary Pilkins Breach of promise of marriage Damages £SOOOI There is some mistake,” he gasped, in incredulous astonishment. “ Some mistake, I tell yen! I never promised to marry Miss Pilkins. Never thought of such a thing. It must — must be a mistake.” “It’s all night enough, sir,” said the clerk. ‘‘There’s no mistake. My governors were instructed by the young lady to commence proceedings against you. You’ll find their names and address on the writ, in -case you wish to communicate with them.” “•It’s some dashed plot!—some infernal try-on to extort money. But I won’t be buncoed. I’ll not pay a cent—not a dashed cent,” cried Hyslop, excited and furious. “ It’s no use talking to me, sir,” said the clerk. “My governors sent me to serve you, and I’ve served you. And that’s all I’ve got to do with it. Good morning.” The clerk departed, and Hyslop, sinking into a chair, gazed in stupefied wrath and dismay at the open writ which he still held in his band. He remained in that position, glaring at it, as though it were some noxious animal, for a quarter of an hour. Then he suddenly sprang to his feet. , “ I tell you what it is,” he cried aloud, “I’ll go straight.round and see that Polly Perkins and have it out with her. I’ll—” “Hilloa!” a cheery voice interrupted him. “What’s the matter, Tommy, old man? You look as though you had suddenly gone eff your chump!" The speaker was his friend Butters, the young solicitor, who, by one of those lucky accidents which now and then befall, had happened to call in upon Hyslop, as he sometimes did, on his way to business. “ What’s the matter,. Tommy?” he repeated.-- ' •„ ■ ’ ' " “Matter!” cried Tommy, handing him the writ. “Just look at that, Butters.” Butters took it and read it through. Then he gave vent to a long, low, expressive whistle. / “ So that is what it has come to,” he said, his face growing grave as he spoke. “I did not know that you had promised to many her, Tommy.” “No more I had. I never mentioned*— suggested—hinted at— or thought of such a thing. It is an impudent attempt to extort money; nothing leas.’’ Butters frowned perplexedly and scratched his head. “ I say,” he remarked, “ this is a matter that wants careful talking over. You’re quite sure that you never 1 said anything to her that might be twisted into an offer of marriage—eh, Tommy?” “ Quite positive. I never had any idea of marrying her. And the minx knows that every hit as well as I do,” exclaimed Hyslop, excitedly. “Have you written her any letters?" was the other’s next inquiry. “ Oh, yes. I’ve written her letters and notes now and then, but I never hinted at marriage in any of them.” “Still, I suppose you sometimes used tender expresisons in them—eh?” M Y-e-s, sometimes,” admitted Tommy. “But they were all nonsense. 1 meant nothing by them.” “ Umph!” growled Butters, gravely. "And you’ve given her presents, I suppose 1” 1 “ Yes. Now and then. But ’

“ You meant nothing by them, either?” “ Nothing , matrimonial, certainly,” an-, swered Hyslop, with emphasis. “Yon don’t seem to believe me,” he added quickly, in an aggrieved tone. “My dear fellow,”' said Butters, with a shrug of his shoulders, “I believe you entirely. But- the point is not what I believe; it is what a jury will believe.” “ A jury!” cried Hyslop, aghast at the suggestion. “Do you mean, then,'that you think there is any possibility of her going into Court with such a false, groundless and trumped-up claim as hers?” “These solicitors are deuced smart people,” said Butters. “ You may be sure they will make out a good case for her. And, really, their materials are not bad. You’ve been hanging about after the girl this year past. You’ve been trotting her out on Sundays. You’ve been giving her presents. You’ve been writing her tender letters. Doubtless vou meant nothing by all this, and Miss Tolly knows that you meant nothing. But that is beside the mark. The material point, aa I said, is, whether a jury would believe that you meant nothing.?’ “If a jury believes that a fellow can’t have a flirtation with a flower-girl without promising to marry her, they must be a lot of idiots!” exclaimed Hyslop. “Very possibly. I have had experience of juries who answer your description to a T. The truth is, that where the plaintiff is a woman—particularly a young and pretty woman—they invariably find for hei if she has the ghost of a semblance of a case, and not infrequently if she has none. Now Polly, my dear fellow, is undeniably young and pretty; and that artless, baby faoe of hers is just the face that no jury could resist. She is, in short, as , far & her personal appearance goes, an ideal plaintiff.” “ You seem to take a pleasure in painting mv position in the blackest colours,” retorted Hyslop, gloomily. “Far from it,” was the energetic reply. "I simply speak as a practical business man, looking at the matter in a practical business way. There is nothing I should like better, my dear fellow,” he added, tviirmly, “than to see you extricated from ,ais unpleasant hobble. And I am convinced that, the only way of arriving at that desirable result is to begin, by recognising all the difficulties before us and looking them boldly in the face. Look here! Will you place yourself in my hands?”

“ Thank you!” answered Hyslop, with a look of relief. “ If you really would undertake the whole thing--—” “With pleasure, Tommy; and I’ll do the best for you that’ can be done. In the meantime, of course, you must hold no communication either with Polly or her solicitors, or any emissaries whom she or thev may send. If, you do, it is odds you

may say or write something that will ruin the whole show. Her solicitors, as I told you, are devilish smart people, and very likely they will try to entrap yon in that kind of way. Therefore don’t answer them, or see them, or anyone else, in reference to this matter. Simply refer them to me. Yen’ll promise that, won’t you?” “Rather,” answered Hyslop; “only too glad to be relieved of having anything to do with such sharks.” “Very well,” said his friend, rising and putting the writ in bis pocket; ‘“I will see what I can do with these fellows. And as soon as there is anything to communicate I will let you know.” It was some five or six weeks before a settlement was arrived at. But in the end Polly's solicitors agreed, on her behalf, to accept £250 and their costs to date; and, by Butter’s advice, Tommy Hyslop settled on these terms. About a month afterwards Butters looked in one evening to see his friend. He bad with him a copy of that day’s “ Morning Post,” which he handed to Tommy, pointing with his finger, ns he did so, to an announcement among the marriages. Tommy read it. It was the announcement of Polly Pilkins’s union with young Joseph. “Infernal little minx!” he ejaculated, viciously. “ I wish the unspeakable Hebrew joy of her.” “ Yon had a lucky escape, old man, - ' said Butters. . ■’ I had,” admitted Tommy, with fervour. “ A narrow escape, too,” said the other ; “ for if Polly hadn’t sent yon that pleasant little valentine of a writ before you could take hen round the diamond ring, as you intended, it is as likely as not you’d have made it up with her and then been let in.” “The writ was a blessing in disguise, sa’d Tommy, sententiously, “ although it did cost me nearly £300." “It cost you nothing,” replied Butters, suddenly, feeling in his pocket and producing a pink slip of paper. “There’s your cheque, old man, just as yon sent it me.” «Why ” began Tommy, in amazement. “The explanation is simple, went on Butters, quietly. “You had to be saved, my dear chap, from making it up with Polly on that memorable Valentine’s day, and I flatter myself," be added, chuckling, “ that my bogui writ did the trick very effectually.” :