ODDS AND ENDS.

Lyttelton Times, Volume CV, Issue 12535, 24 June 1901, Page 5

ODDS AND ENDS.

MAINLY ABOUT PEOPLE.

Depend upon it, a good deal is -lost by not looking round -the corner. —“Quality Fogg.” . The Ophir was brought to quite elegantly at Lyttelton on Saturday morning, coming alongside the wharf, bow to, like a practised coaster. Slie was moored without ceremony, and—mirabile ddctu—without, bad language. Her stern projects some feet beyond the end of the wharf, for safety’s sake, so as to clear her screws. It is ’ a mistake to suppose that twin screw liners cannot safely •be brought right alongside; it has been done dozens of times without mishap. But the .Ophir’s officers axe apparently .taking no risks. They wouldn’t take the berth offered them in Wellington, and the Wellington people felt father hurt. Lyttelton isn’t like that. As one old salt put it: “They can pub their ark where they like. A Royal yacht can’t afford to be the same as a coal hulk.”

A considerable number of gambles are being perpetrated over the pronunciation of Ophir. The clerical style used to he to rhyme the word with “no fear.” The nautical man with the wooden leg calls it “ Ofur” with a long first syllable, and ordinary nautical men call the boat “ O-fer.” There are also -bets about the Duke’s height. The “official” measurement is fiveseven and a half. Public opinion inclines to the opinion that the truth is about two and a half inches shorter.

The Royal visitors have hitherto “squeezed in-'' between the showers, and the Ajfiristdhurch visit promised to be no exception, Two fine nays in succession are an unheard-of luxury, but the glorious b.ue “of 'yesterday’s sky shows that Canterbury, at least, has’.a proper idea of the respect due to Royalty. Before he had well landed at Lyttelton the Duke showed that he had inherited something of his august father s wonderful faculty of pleasing and looking pleased on all occasions. He summe ieq, the officers of the volunteer guard and addressed a few inquiries to each - concerning the companies a formal attention which was obviously gratifying to-the whole corps. The Lyttelton people are not easily “ left.” They felt annoyed at the preliminary snubs of tho Governor and other hign functionaries, and they threatened to stop at home when the Duke-landed. Many of them did absent themselves, and the general reception was a little frosty in consequence. But the offending burgesses were not likely to be robbed of their glimpse of Royalty, so they took- train and helped to swell the crowds in 'Christchurch. The Royal train ran through from Lyttelton to Christchurch in fourteen minutes. As Sir Joseph values his immortal soul never let him tell a Canterbury Railway Reform League again, that 'twenty-five minutes is the irreducible minimum of the Department for the journey. j An extraordinary incident occurred on Saturday. About two minutes ahead of the Royal procession,two hansom cabs, freighted with ordinary mortals, drove audaciously through Cathedral Square between the barriers, apparently with the full permission and approval of the authorities. The cabs were those chartered by visiting Pressmen. Some slight bungle occurred with regard to the guarding of tbe northern end of the Royal route. Instead of drawing the Cadets up along Salisbury Street from Victoria Street to Park Terrace, the officer in charge sent.the lads up Victoria Street beyond the deviation point. “ What are you doing dp here?” inquired a passer-by of one of the generals in command. “’ Ordered here!” was the reply.; “ What for?” “ Oh! I suppose to get us out of the road.” Which reminds one of the story of the com-' pany *of yeomanry caught and released by De Wet'for the fourth dr fifth time. “Company your Yeomanry turned up here,” telegraphed' -a general to Lord Kitchener; “what shall I do with them?” “Keep them out of' my sight!” was the reply. TW se-yere passage from Wellington to Lyttelton had its natural effect on the Royal visitors, and although his Royal Highness made everyone about him feel that he was thoroughly enjoying himself, it was remarked that the Duchess was not looking happy. The inevitable stray dog in Victoria Square was almost the only being to receive a bright smile during the day. ' The strong southerly breeze of Saturday - kept the flags and the linen on the official 'clothes-lines gaily fluttering, and happily interfered in no way with the success of the functions. But strong breezes are not 'always so harmless on. gaudy days. There is an amusing story of tbe entry of Napoleon 111. into Bordeaux when he was Prince-President of France. The Prefect had given an order that a triumphal arch should be erected at the entrance of tho city. Over it was a figure holding a laurel» wreath, with the inscription, “He merits it,” which was to be lowered as the Prince parsed beneath. Unfortunately a strong wind carried away the wreath, so all that

remained was the rope and the inscription. References to the Royal visit were made in most of the churches yesterday, but it is not recorded that any preacher took the only really appropriate text in ad the Sriptures. “ And it came to pass that after we were gotten from them . . . we came with a straight course ... unto Rhodes.”—Acts xxi., 1. ■ Those who know are not inclined to speak, but it is whispered that at Lyttelton ’ a colonial potentate called for three cheers ‘ for the Prince of Wales. This is what Lord Curzon would call “ the intelligent anticipation of events.” /lue Mayor of Lyttelton is one of the few colonial Mayors who have had the courage to smile when welcoming or being presented to their Royal Highnesses. Most of tire people presented to the Duke and Duchess axe excessively nervous, and soma of them loefe their- heads entirely, shaking hand's with the Duke and ignoring the Duchess entirely. Her Royal Highness no doubt appreciates both the humour and the pathos of the situation, but when the tiring had happened for the third or fourth time, she turned to the Duke, and said, with , a smile, “ Snubbed again-, George!” But really the funniest of these reception incidents occurred in Wellington, The Mayor of a country borough was overcome with nervous bashfulness when his time came to be presented. He was half pushed, half escorted, -up the hall, trembling at the knees, and in desperation took the last few yards with a rush. Being introduced, be shook hands with the Duke, and having . spoken, , turned and lied, incontinently, past, the Duchess and down into the hall. An attendant was sent to bring him, back to be presented to the Duchess, but threats and cajolery failed to move him. Wild horses, he said, would not drag bam into that awfuT presence’again, and men say that he even warned the messenger that he would not stop at manslaughter if hands were laid oh him. This Mayor was not asked to dinner.

The , methods of colonial working men have evidently impressed the “foreign” visitors. When the Ophir was coaling in Wellington she was treated at the wharves as quite an ordinary ship. men very properly knocked off for the full oiuner time and conducted operations generally in their own way. One,' 1 big” officer on the Royal yaoht was heard to declare that he was going to resign all his emoluments and become a labouring mam in New Zealand. He might do worse. The Friendly Societies’ procession reminded a “ Bulletin ” reader of.the long worm that hath no turning as he. hasteth to his meat.” It was certainly a little wearisome. But, like the scorpion, it had a sting in the tail. The portly marshal,let it all get past the Royal stand, and then advancing, hat in hand,; cried; “ Long live the King and Queeen, and the Duke and Duchess of York.” Now, the Duke has a very proper regard for the dignity of his profession, and , the introduction of an unauthorised address like that is an offence little short of treason. So, turning to the Premier, he said —and Iris mien was powenul stern —“ That, I presume, is an address not provided for in the programme.” The Premier bent his proud head before the righteous wrath ot the Prince. Nothing will be done in the matter while the Duke and Duchess are in the country, but vengeance will assuredly fall on the guilty parties before very long. If tire guillotine were a. recognised institution in this country the offender’s life womd not be worth a great deal; and tine Royal tint Commissioners and the Government Executive Commissioners are not likely to escape punishment. A petition to the Duchess, begging her to intervene in the cause, of mercy would, it is certain, cause the uplifted upn of justice tp be stayed alert, and ij»e ;r tends of these conm'ned should move in vlfe matter without demy. The positions in the Friendly Soddaos’ procession were allotted by ballot. Out of pure cussedness Fate caused the Hibernians to be sandwiched in between the Orangemen and the Protestant Alliance. It was just the. sort of thing one might expect from a ballot. • ■ . ■ , The protests of ministers concerning tine Volunteers’ want of veneration for the Sabbath have not been without effect. The guard at Te Koraha. was relieving the monotony of existence yesterday morning with song and dance, tire instrumental music being supplied by an harmonicon (Anglice, moutn-orgau). An officer appeared, and commented on the, noise, which, he said, was too pronounced for a, Sunday. Thereupon the men decided to hold a church service, sat round on tentpegs, and sang “Shall we gather at the rivet.” / The persistent ringing of the Cathedral bells rendered the speeches at Victoria Square on Saturday absolutely inaudible to the multitude. The Duke spoke from notes, the original copy of which has passed into the possession of a' local journalist, who will naturally treasure' it. The Duke’s voice is strong, clear and mellow, and he speaks distinctly well. A few years ago, according to society journals,

he was so nervous that it was painful to hear him utter, half a dozen sentences in' public. This “reformation” is said to bo largely due to the tuition and encouragement of the Duchess. The idea of he* Royal Highness as an elocution mistress is worthy of some of the “ smart ” London society papers; _ It is not altogether polite to greet the Duke and Duchess, of York as “Our future King and Queen,” not polite, that is, to the present King and Queen. Several women fainted in the crowds _on Saturday—two on Victoria Bridge during the ceremonies in the Square.^ It was a happy idea to include Victoria Street in the route to Te Koraiha. If their Royal Highnesses had been driven round Cranmer Square or along, Armagh Street and Park Terrace, the drive would certainly have been much prettier; But then the visitors would have missed an interesting and instructive glimpse of “ Old Christchurch.” “Punctuality is the thief of time” is evidently one of the maxims in the copybooks supplied to youthful Royalty. -. ; ■ An estimate, made on a fair average basis, gives four hundred as the least number of the cameras levelled at the Duke during the ceremonies in Victoria Square. “ Te Koraha ” means “ The Fernland ” or “ wilderness.”