DODGES OF DESERTERS.

Lyttelton Times, Volume XCVIII, Issue 11334, 30 July 1897, Page 2

DODGES OF DESERTERS.

{Tit Bits.) Although several thousand men are officially reported every year as deserters from the army, only a small proportion of them really deserve the title. It is true they desert the regiment to which they belong, but the majority re-enlist in another corps a few days afterwards. They are technically guilty of 'desertion, of course, but as they still serve her Majesty they cannot be said to have quitted her service. A few there are—a couple of hundred or so~who really desert', and never voluntarily return to the ranks. Some of the “ dodges ” resorted to by men of both the classes alluded to may prove interesting to the general reader. About thirty years ago, when British regiments were scattered throughout our colonies, a battalion of infantry was stationed at Fredericton, New Brunswick. As only a river separated the province from the United States, attempts at desertion were frequent, and eventually a strong picket was posted at our end of the bridge.

with orders to let none bnt officers cross on any pretext whatever. There was no need to guard any oilier point, the great width of the river and its swift current rendering a passage either by boat or by swimming an impossibility. About ten o’clock one beautiful moonlight night in November, the sentry was walking briskly to and fro, when the merry sound. of tinkling bells, coming from the direction of the barracks, fell upon his ear. Soon a sledge made its appearance, gliding swiftly over the hard snow; The guard at once turned out, and formed up in line across the bridge. “ It’s all right, sergeant,” said a voice from the sledge. The sergeant instantly saluted the speaker, and the carriage sped on. “ Captain Badminton’s out late tonight,” said one of the men.' “If it freezes any harder before he comes back, his rats’-tails won’t want any, cosmetic to keep ’em straight,” said another. TJie' captain was noted for his moustaches which were-very large and carefully pointed. This evening they seemed bigger and fiercer than usual. Ho evidently felt the cold, for his fur cap had ear-flaps, and they were tied under his chin. ■ >

“ He’ll get his cold worse,” remarked the sergeant, as he sat with his men round- the guarclroorii fire. “He was so hoarse I didn’t know his voice at first, but the moment I spotted his whiskers I had him set right enough.” • • So the sergeant thought, but next morning when it was found that ■ Captain Badminton’s servant —Private Jonathan Muggins —had disappeared, and that the captain’s horse and sledge, together with sundry gold watches, trinkets, and valuables belonging to other officers, were also missing, the sergeant made a silent vow never to allow a'sledgeto pass his guard in the moonlight again without making.,a close examination of its occupant. Bermuda has always borne an unenviable reputation for the number of deserters that leave its shores for America.. As the nearest land is 700 miles distant, there can be but one way of escape, and, knowing this, the authorities make a thorough search, from stem ..to.,stern,.of every ship -that loaves either Hamilton or Bt George’s, the-two ports of thb islands. [And yet the men "get away, in shoals. The favourite dodge is to wait .for the' incoming'of 'a steamer,. and to' make- friends with- ■ the sailors .when they come ashore.' The rest is easy. The night before the-vessel starts, the deserter is taken on board, stripped of bis clothes; rubbed all over with -grease and lamp-black, every particle of bis belongings thrown into one of the furnaces, and then, in rough canvas trousers, ho-is set to work shovelling coal in a dimlylighted bunk. The next day his mother would not know him, and so safe does he feel himself to be, that instances are on record of his having held a candle to light the military police when they penetrated into the recesses where he was working, A fastidious corporal, delicate and refined, got away without going through this degrading ordeal. He was a “chum” of the master-tailor of his corps. The two took counsel together, and the result was that one Sunday morning the corporal, disguised as a priest, took up his position on the quay at Hamilton when the New York steamer came in. Ho was cleanshaven, of course, and he wore blue-tinted spectacles. He joined the stream of passengers as they-disembarked, and . with a travelling bag in his hand and a cloak on his arm, accompanied them to the hotel. He engaged a bedroom, and went out a good deal every day to see the sights.

The following Thursday .the steamer was advertised to return to America, and that morning the priest called for his bill, took his bag, and with slow and solemn step made his way to the pier, reading his breviary as he went. On reaching the gangway leading - to the vessel he found, as he expected, the provost-sergeant of his regiment.

Putting his bag bn the ground, “Sergeant,” said he, “I have tb go back to my hotel for a Cloak that I, have forgotten. Bo good enough to mihd my property till I return.” The priest was nearly an hour absent, for ho seemed feeble and walked very slowly. On receiving his bag he slipped half a crown into the sergeant’s hand. As the vessel glided out of the harbour he was seen sitting on the deck, taking his last Ipok at Bermuda, and was graciously pleased to return the respectful salutewith which the provost man bade him farewell.

At home, the deserters have an easier task than their .comrades abroad. Provided they have the money to purchase- a, suit of clothes, they can desert when and where they please. Generally, however, they go a few miles away before they change their uniform for mufti, and, as a rule, they take the precaution, when they re-enlist, of joining a different branch of the Service.

One man, who deserted at Belfast, laid his plans very carefully. He was employed in the orderly-room. On a Saturday afternoon he went to the adjutant, and, on the plea that a fresh supply of postage stamps was required, obtained a sovereign to buy some. He went straight to the railway station, presented a railway warrant, first forging the signature, and in return received a ticket, which carried him to Birmingham free of charge. Thence he made his way at his own expense to Portsmouth.

The next day he tried to enlist in the Army Service Corps, but was told that'he must produce a character from his late employer. - Taking the train to Southampton, he purchased a pocket handkerchief at a draper’s shop. He .thus obtained an invoice with the usual printed ..heading, and on this, after ,erasing the pencilled particulars of his purchase, he gave himself, in a feigned hand, an excellent testimonial.

He had now no difficulty in enlisting, and he remained in his new regiment for some months. He was then apprehended by a detective, remanded to his original corps, and sentenced to two years’ imprisonment with hard labour. ,

The only real impediment to continued desertion and subsequent re-enlistment is advancing age. When a man has passed bis twenty-fifth birthday he is, according to the regulations, no longer eligible for the service. But a deserter, apparently between thirty and forty, will present himself to the doctor, and unblushingly state that he is just twenty-four years and eleven months old.

“ Bald P Yes, sir, lam a leetle bald at the top, sir—all my family was. My father was bald at twenty, I’ve heard him say so many a time. My sister, she’s younger than me, sir, but she’s as bald as a peacock’s egg.” Perhaps the doctor hints that -the teeth, of the recruit are not quite, up to the mark either in quality ,or quantity.- . _ - _ - “ Crusts, sir; crusts have done it. Biting hard crusts, sir, ruins the teeth. Many’s the time I'Ve cracked a tooth right off with a crust. But for that I’d have a splendid set.”

The fellow’s aim is to make the examiner laugh ; if he succeeds in doing this, he is “ passed.” The greatest rogues are those who contrive to belong to two corps at once, and to draw pay from both. Such are the deserters from the Army Eeserve. These men fraudulently, re-enlist in a regiment, concealing the fact of their belonging to the Eeserve. Once a quarter they get a few days’ pass, draw their. reserve pay (about £2 ss) at a post office a few miles distant, and return to barracks on the expiration of their leave, gravely informing their commanding officer that an imaginary sick mother or sfster is nou much better in consequence of the visit they were able to pay her.

The professional deserter, like the. liar, needs a good memory* Otherwise, he is apt to forget the last name that he assumed. Thoughtful orderly - sergeants, when calling the roll of the men, are mindful of this infirmity, and utter the timely .warning. ".Answer:to your.regixnentarnames.” Unfeeling military policemen, on the contrary, after a Cdreful study of the Police'Gazette, will steal softly behind a man they suspect, and suddenly call out the name he bore in his last regiment. Nine times out of ten they catch.

him in this simple way. And then he finds, as thousands have found before him, that “ deserting does not pay.”