The Lyttelton Times. FRIDAY, OCT. 26, 1888.

Lyttelton Times, Volume LXX, Issue 8623, 26 October 1888, Page 4

The Lyttelton Times. FRIDAY , OCT. 26, 1888.

A Wellington telegram kindly informs us that “Mr H. S. Valentine, M.H.R., is leaving for Melbourne. He proposes to examine the working of coal seams.” That, then, is the latest way of putting it. Clever Mr Valentine! Obligingly credulous Press Association ! It is, of course, quite right of the member for Waikaia to get his movements advertised as widely as possible, and there is no harm in his saying that coal seams are his Victorian aim and object. Still, the amount of coalmining going on in Melbourne during the Cup week is not so overwhelming, perhaps, that we might expect it to attract the most enthusiastic student of mineralogy, and induce energetic and public spirited M.H.R.’s to voyage across a thousand miles of ocean. Hitherto, it has not been widely supposed that the coal seams of Australia are to be most easily and advantageously studied in the City of Booms. Still, we live and learn, and if Mr Valentine’s researches should reveal to the astonished eyes of Australia a valuable outcrop somewhere in the neighbourhood of Memington Racecourse, we shall be the first to congratulate him on the rich reward his enterprise will assuredly reap. Meanwhile, leaving Mr Valentine to sally forth as. a prospector to Flemington, armed with the veil, field-glass, and note book, which all exploring geologists carry in those parts during the month of November, we return to the Press Association. We beg to offer to that august institution a hint or two as to possible explanatory addenda to its forthcoming messages chronicling departures for Melbourne. An opportunity was missed the other day, when we got a mere bald paragraph telling us “Mr Richard Reeves, M.H.R., sailed for Melbourne to-day with his Haka Troupe.” Why was there not added to this, “Mr Reeves proposes to interest Bishop Groe, and the clergy and laity of the Melbourne Diocese, in the moral, sanitary, and religious condition of the Maori race.” Seeing, however, that the Association has wasted most of its opportunities of giving a kindly “ send off ” to those of our fellow colonists who are choosing the present opportune juncture to study the social and industrial institutions of Victoria, might we suggest that a series of telegrams from Melbourne, telling us how our absent friends are progressing with their useful studies, would prove of immense interest ? For instance, we might read; “ The Hon G-. Fisher has been examining the system of betting as pursued by leading bookmakers here. He expresses himself satisfied from personal experiment that the evil effects of ring betting greatly outweigh those attributed to the totalisator. He looks upon the latter as a valuable factor in teaching arithmetic to the rising generation of New Zealanders.” A day or two later we should read with delight “ The Hon T. Fergus, Minister for Justice, New Zealand, spent the night of the Cup Day in a cell in the Police Station, investigating the Victorian system of treating persons detained before trial. The hon gentleman is not entirely satisfied, but preserves a reticence on the subject.” Nor is there any reason why such enthralling intelligence should be confined to Ministers of the Crown. We have, or shall have, in Melbourne worthy citizens quite as interesting;* aa- any politicians, We,

are sure that a telegram stating that “Mr F. Hobbs, of the firm of Hobbs and Co., Merchant Tailors, has submitted the costumes on the Lawn at PJemington to a careful professional scrutiny. Mr Hobbs considers that there is an excellent opening in New Zealand for. a man-milliner, id la Worth.” Now that the Press Association has begun to cultivate humour, albeit of the grave character, there is no knowing how pleasant and amusing our cable messages may become. But the thing should be done systematically. It will not be fair for Mr Valentine to be the only subject for telegraphic fun. As for that gentleman, trusting that he may not see too much of the “ seamy side ” of mining, or anything else in Melbourne, we wish him and his fellow-tourist a very pleasant holiday.