EXTRACTS FROM "PUNCH."

Lyttelton Times, Volume VI, Issue 371, 24 May 1856, Page 5

EXTRACTS FROM "PUNCH."

THE AUTHORS OF WAR AND THEIR WORKS,

The crippled heroes at Chatham have received no small consolation for the loss of their limbs: that is, as much as the Queen herself could afford them. Her Majesty visited the sick and wounded in the military hospital of that place lately. Among the galiant sufferers, says the " Times" reporter —

" Another special object of Royal sympathy was Robert Chxios, SSth Regiment, only nineteen years okl, who lost both eyes in the attack on the Quarry Pits. After being engaged an hour, a ball entered oae eye, passed uuder the bridge of the nose and out at the other eye, entirely depriving him of sight."'

Thus doe* War tear out human eyes —yet nion--scers. who involve mankind in this misery, the with, their own eyeballs glaring whole in their sockets ! Read on:—

'■ The case of Thomas Doxoghax. 14th Regiment, twenty years old, was also pointed out. While sharp-snooting >:l the trenches he received a ball throug ) che upprfrlip, which after carryiug away all the teeth oa oue siiU' of the upper jaw, broke the lower one so completely as to be wedged into the fracture. It had to be pulled out by forceps."

Here is another small fraction of the vast sum of human agony and wretchedness meant by War. But brutes who are the wilful cause ot" such an atrocity expire with their fangs entire iti their unbroken jaws. Bei.r with one more horror:— *' Another most extraordinary case was lh:it of William Clarke, of the SStli Regiuu'ui, who while t:i^;.^fd in the trenches on the 9th of July, was wounded by a biill which entered the right side of the noto, passed completely, through the }>uhUe of the mouth, frsieiuriaj; both uppyr and lower jaw, ami iiuully passed out at the back of hU neck.No retributive bullet, however,smashed the nose and the mouth of the tyrant who sets balls living by thousands and tens ot" thousands- The wretch departed this life grinning with all his teeth. He departed this life—and then ? Well: that is for the demons to consider who initiate these horrors in the holiest name, with psalms in their mouths, crosses in their gripe, and tongues in their cheeks.

But we are not to use sucli language as this in talking about Princes. It is " bad taste." They are " august personages," and " it is wrong of us to speak evil of our enemies." Yes, you canting noodles ; but it is not wrong to express loathing and detestation of the enemies of our common race. It is not wrong to execrate the Memory of Greenacre ; there is one sufficient reason why it is not: tbere are, perhaps a million of reasons as strong, many of them s.ronger, for execrating the memory of the Emperor Nicholas, and for doing all that poor pen and ink can do to rouse the wrath of mankind against the fello.v who has succeeded him, and whose avowed intention it is to act out his father's crime. De mortuis nil ?iisi bonum. Yes, indeed. Add no epitaph to the roses on Nero's tomb ; record nothing of Judas Iscariot, except that he was an Apostle! Nay. Think of the torn-out eyes, the shattered jaws', for which the world is indebted to your " august personages." Bah ! Pursue such curses of the earth as wild beasts while living: hang them up for scarecrows when dead.

§ Christm As'Waits.—The king of Prussia is seeing what turn, events ia Europe take before he ventures to decide for one side or the other. Austria is also waiting to see which way the European cat jumps. Cardinal "Wiseman is waiting for the happy day when England—thanks to the puseyites ; —will sign a concordat with the Pope. Mr. Cobden is waiting for the sheet of paper, by means of which he intends showing the way in which Russia should be crumbled up. Lord John is waiting for a new place.

A New Kind of Head Dress.— Mistress. — " Jane, are you sure it was Mrs. Smithers who called ? Come, tell me now, how was she dressed? " — Jane. —" "\VTiy, if you please, Mum, she was agoing to the Theayter, or a Ball, and she had on her 'cad a great biar Turbot, Mum, and there was a Whale over that, Mum.

Habits of Great Men.—Lord Robert Grosvenor stops all his watches and clocks on a Sunday. Benjamin Disraeli, Esq., generally sharpens his razor on a Joe Miller. Mr. Bright sleeps in a cotton nightcap. His socks, shirts, and sheets are all of cotton- He carries his passion for cotton to such an excess, that, when he goes to an evening party, he will wear none but Berlin gloves. Mr. Frederick: Peel, insists upon his tailor always measuring him with red tape. Sir James Graham, ■when he receives a letter, cannot help peeping into it first. Mr-Gladstone cannot eat a prawn without endeavouring to divide it into three heads. Lord John talks of his children sometimes as Schedule A, B, C, &c.