THE BOTTLE-HOLDER AND THE BOTTLE CONJUROR.

Lyttelton Times, Volume III, Issue 121, 30 April 1853, Page 4

THE BOTTLE-HOLDER AND THE BOTTLE CONJUROR.

AN ECLOGUE, BT THEOCRITUS PUNCHOVIUS. [From " Punch."] Scene— Pall Mall. Enter the Lord of Broadlands (Hants). To him the Lord of Hugueuden (Bucks). Lord of H.: Is it thou, O Palmerston of the Pleasant Presence ? And what dost thou in London, whilst the pheasant spreads his wings, courting the pellet? Thou, happily free from the chains of red tape? Natbeless, well met! Lord of B. (modestly) : Have not the men . of Tiverton sent me, all unworthy as I am? Did I not rejoice their souls with jokes, and discomfit that Rowcliffej trampling him in the mire of scorn, as I have trampled many. The Times reporter had ears, and a swift pen, and thou canst read, O son of the Curiosities of Literature. , Lord of H.: Nay, I know thy feats, O feared among the Kaisers, and reverence thy skill in arms. Would (insinuatingly) that we fought side by side .' Lord of B. (Aside): I dare say. (To him.) —Is anything impossible, O Asiatic Mystery Man, in these days of marvels, when a Crystal Palace springs up like a dream, when nations are linked by a whispering wire, and when a Malmesbury is the Foreign Minister of England ? Lord of H.: I take thy hint, most judicious of bottle-holders. ■ Conceive that third and greatest marvel no longer existing. Lord op B.:. -It might be so, and with small wail among men, O Mosaic Arabian. But our talk hath now reached a point, where it, must either utterly stop, or proceed in a groove. Or, if thou wilt, there is a third course. Let us speak of the sweet singers, and the Houris of the dance. Will Lumley of yonder pile reopen its gates ? What of the Warbling Wagner ? Lord of H.: Misjudge me not, O Jaunty one. When have I spoken without a meaning —to such as thou, at least, for I count not as speech the sounds that soothe the territorial dunderheads ? I accept the groove. Lord of B.: Then "answer me, O Adjuster of Burdens.—Does the cliivalric noble, the horse- j taming Derby, ratify thy wordstorne ? | Lord of H.: Airy Viscount, paries: vous Francais? Lord of B.: Many to whom this question is addressed will reply, I can read, write, and understand it, but I cannot speak it. lam not one of the many. Lord of H.: Then take thy answer, accomplished diplomat. L'Etat c'est moi. Lord of B.: It is well, 0 Political Biographer. And thy offer? Must I correct the grammer of the sagacious Malmesbury, teach the sportive Walpole that jest is not earnest, or fill the seat of the modest Pakington, while he departs to whip the little hoys at Quarter Sessions ? ... I Lord of H.: Kone joke so well as thou ; yet joke not, Terror of the insolvent Greeks. Thou hast but to name thy office, and its present humble warming-pan warms it no more. I see 4 my groom—shall he take Malmesbury a message that he is now our .Consul in Bulgaria ? Lord of B.: Festina lente, 0 Vivian Grey, and mark me. Reasonably pliable—for this is a world of change—l have that which men call character. I may have it to lose, but I don't mean to lose it. The Ministry that has me has a policy. And your's is ? Lord of H. •. Of course—can you doubt it, Queller of the Yelpers ? Are we not pledged to constitutional principles, to just and necessary measures, and to a strict adherence to that course which shall seem best calculated to promote the benefit of all classes of Her Majesty's subjects ? Lord of B.: Am./a territorial dunderhead, Benjamin of the Mess, that thou shouldst n-ive me thy sonorous because hollow words? Keep them for thy bumpkins, and answer me categorically. The nation has willed Free-Trade. So have I. Are you pledged not to oppose our will ? Lord of H.: Personally, O Smasher of TJrquharts and Cochranes, neither I nor our chief

dream of assailing Free Trade. But there be such poor things as Christophers and Granbys and Bookers ; and if a few speeches—and what are speeches ? —soothe those souls, and secure those votes, his heart is harder than thine, kindly Viscount, who would refuse them that futile consolation. Thou twiggest ? II faut vivre. Lord of B.: Jene vois pas la necessite, Gladatorial Benjamin. However, let us get through the groove. An Unconditional pledge to Free Trade—that is my lowest figure, and no abatement at this shop. D'ye buy ? Lord of H.: On credit, yes, ancient and judicious one. Come to us now— tide us over this session—and in 1854 we will discover Free Trade was expressly provided by Magna Charta. Is not that constitutional ? Lord of B.: Tick is unconstitutional when principle is at stake, thou Revolutionary Epictetus. Mend your bid. Ready money. Lord of H. (Earnestly) : Wouldn't I, but for Lord of B. (Smiling) : For whom ? L'Etat c'est vous. Lord of H.; But for circumstances. I'm afraid I can't do a bit of business with you this morning, O patron of Pacifico. Lord of B.: Be not spiteful, Deputy-Lieu-tenant of Bucks, seeing that we may yet sit at the same council-table. Thou hast that in thee which will not long brook servitude to boors whom thou scornest, and thy scorning propensities will anon break out in a fresh place, leaving thee without any place at all. In that day, Coningsby, come to my side, and the sevenfold shield of Ajax shall screen thee, arrowdarting Teucer, against all the bumpkin Hectors—for I like thy pluck. Meantime, look to thy Budget, and see that corn, and not chaff, be found in Benjamin's sack. Au revdir, unless you'll have some Punch a la Romaine, at Grange's. Lord of H.: I love Punch intensely, but if I take it a la Romaine, and Walpole hears of it, he will tell Derby that I am a Protestant, which would be shocking. Adieu, Palmerston of the Pleasant Presence. Lord of B. -. Adieu, Disraeli of the Doubtful Destiny. Lord of H. (Aside) : Artful dodger! Lord of B. (Aside :) Specious cove. [Exeunt.

Lady Lovelace.—On November 27th, the Lady Ada Augusta, rendered famous by Byron's well-known lines-^-Ada ! sole daughter of my house and heart! expired, after a lingering illness of more than one year's duration. She was born in 1816, and was, like her illustrious father, in the 37th year of her age when she died. My daughter, with thy name this song began, My daughter, with thy name thus much shall end. I see thee not; I hear thee not; but none Can be so wrapt in thee. Thou art the friend To whom the shadows of far years extend. My voice shall with thy future visions blend, And reach into thy heart when mine is cold— A token and a tone even from thy father's mould. Onthe Bth July, 1835, the poet's daughter was united to Lord King, subsequently (in 1838) created Earl of Lovelace, a connexion by which the lineage of John Locke was blended with that of Byron. Much of the interest which attaches to the daughters of Milton and Shakespeare was felt in the deceased lady wherever the English language is spoken, and to a large circle of private friends her death will be a source of sincere sorrow. Highly gifted and endowed with a large share of her father's temperament, she delighted in intellectual as well as benevolent and kindly pursuits. Not only by right of her own great parentage, but by right, also, of her unusual accomplishments in Science, she deserves a notice. Those who moved within her circle know how good a mathematician she was, and how clear and decisive her grasp of scientific generalities; to those without that circle it is enough to say, that for a long time she was credited as the writer of perhaps the most remarkable phir losophic work which has been produced for many years in science, The Vestiges of Creation; a work which sneered at by hundreds every way incompetent to apprehend its real scope and value, it is, nevertheless, a considerable honour to be credited with—and Lady Lovelace had that honour.- — Times.