Humour

Lake County Press, Issue 2789, 12 June 1919, Page 2

Humour

* I THE WAY ABOUT. = ' J He: "I'd like to take your photof graph, Edie. Really, you're 6weet (enough to eat." She: "I see, and that's why you want to put me on a plate." a ' ~~ y EVIDENCE NOT CONVINCING. it If A man was being tried on a charge l- of selling impure whisky. The whisky ;s was offered in evidence. Jury retired :e to try the evidence. is Judge (presently): "What is the ver- - diet!-" i- Foreman of the thirsty jury: "Your t honor, we want more evidence." i i THOUGHTFUL WILLIE. I There was a piece of cold pudding 3 on the lunch table, and mamma di--3 vided it between Willie and Elsie. I Willie looked at his mother' 6 empty " plate. "•Mamma," he said, earnestly, 'i ', can't enjoy my pudding when you , haven't any. Take Elsie's." A CATCH. "Supposin gyou had a basin of water and six lead bullets." "Well, supposing I had?" "If you dropped all the bullets into the water, what would the last one become?" "I don't know. What?" "Wet; ho—ha!" WHAT HE EXPECTEDD. "Mr. Buggins," said the attending ! phsician gravely. "I am afraid your wife's mind is gone." 1 "Well, I'm not surprised," replied Mr. B. "She's been giving me a piece of it every day for twnty-three years, and she didn't have a whole lot to start on." JOHNNY'S DEFINITION. The class was having lessons in Natural History, and the teacher asked: "Sow, is there anybody here can tell me what a zebra is?" Johnnv: "Yes, sir, I can. Teacher: "Well, Johnny, what is a zebra?" Johnny: "Please, sir, a zebra is a donkey with a football suit on." MORE SUBSTANTIAL. A well-kno[wn Judge fell down a (light el' stairs, recording his passage by" a bump on every step until he reached the bottom. A servant ran tohis assistance, and, raising him up, said "I hope your honour is not hurt? ' "No," said'tlie Judge sternly, "my lonour is not hurt, but my head is." ONE STAGE EXCEPTED. Tramp: "Madam, in giving me food on help an actor who has been on the principal stages of the world." Madam : "Be the look of yer, I think bore's one stage yer missed." Tramp: "Name it. madam." Madam : "The bathiwj stage."