Short Story

Lake County Press, Issue 2697, 30 August 1917, Page 7

Short Story

PUBLISHED BY SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT. THE INTERVENERS. A Complefo Story by F. E. Baily.

When Mr. Conrad Pixton banded Miss Lucy Creed out of a taxi into the Restaurant Maguifiquo, lie had only twenty pounds in the world, and she had only five, but they might have been the Prince and Princess of Bayswater in their own car. They had the manner of those born to the purple. Lucy's very perfect frock clung about her as though it loved her, and in the dress" clothes of Conrad. Conduit Street was justified of its children. When a man and a girl dine out together splendidly on the eve of a financial tragedy, the dinner is not dull. So it was only with the coffee that Conrad became aware of a distinguished looking elderly man who. watched them from a neighbouring table. Ho was tall, grey-haired and stately. could see at a glanco that his aii- • eestors had fought on the Royalist side, and said, "Gentlemen of the French Guard, fire first!" and were, bucks of the Regency, and that his great-great-grandfather had been a five-bottle man. and that his family had gone to the same tailor for ten generations. A waiter materialised at Conrad's side, bearing a card on a salver. He announced in what he fondly imagined to bo English that the card's owner begged to be allowed to present himself. It bore the legend:—"The Earl of Battersea."

"I beg," remarked the distinguished voice at Conrad's elbow," "that you will not consider me the intrusive meddler I may appear." Conrad rose and bowed.

"That," he returned courteously, "is impossible."

"I am come," pursued the Earl almost sepulchrally, "to cast myself upon your"— at this point he bowed to each of them in turn—"your compassion. I am in sore straits; I feel you could help me if you would. Believe me," and his nostrils quivered with emotion, "one does not adopt these extreme measures lightly." "May I introduce the Earl of Battersea?" inquired Conrad of Lucy, with massive politeness. He was very cross at the interruption. The Earl bowed courteously to Lucy. "Let me," he resumed, "come to the reason for my intrusion. As you may knoAV, I possess a daughter, Lady Dulcinea Blois. It is of her that I Avish to speak. I need not ask you to treat the revelations which I shall make confidentially." Lucy looked at the Earl with almost a mother's eyes. "J think you may trust us," she breathed rather than said. "My daughter is engaged to Lord liollo Angevin. For six months they appeared to find the greatest happiness in one another's society, but recently there occurred a most regrettable estrangement. Unfortunately my daughter has no mother to guide her." "Ah!" exclaimed Conrad, as if that explained, everything. "Dulcinea," continued her father. "I can only imagine .to annoy her betrothed, became a follower of the disgusting cult of vegetarianism. She also adopted horrible garments, for the most t part neutral in colour, on the plea of ' health, although she has never had a day's ijlness in her life. Imagine the scandal that resulted. "Lord Rollo for a time bore these events with fortitude, pretending to laugh at them. Presently, however, he began to take them seriously. Finally, he informed me, to my horror, that he had decided to become a vegetarian also.

"At Present they are both at Bat- ■ tersea Park, my Oxfordshire seat, an eyesore to everyone, and objects of ridicule to the servants—old and welltrained as these are. Yet at the moment I am powerless to act." He extended his hands in a gesture of dignified helplessness. "My dear Lord Battersea," said Conrad, "we are sincerely touched. We feel our inability to he of assistance most acutely.V The Earl took a deep draught of black coffee, noiselessly, with distinction, as becomes a nobleman. "Sir," he replied, "there you do Miss Creed and yourself an injustice. You can help me, if you will. And I implore you to think carefully before declining. Remember"—the noble voice vibrated with feeling—"remember the circumstances."

Lucy kicked Conrad under the table.

"What do you want us to do?" he inquired. The Earl spread out thin, agreeably kept hands. "One must meet guile with guile, I suppose," he declared suavely. "If Miss Creed and you would honour me with your company at Battersea Park, if Miss Creed would draw Lord Rollo from my daughter, and you would lure my daughter from Lord Rollo, the two young people ought to be yearning for one another within a week." "My dear Lord Battersea," said Conrad frankly, "nothing would give us greater pleasure, but we simply can't afford it." The Earl glanced eloquently at the remains of the feast. His eye roved over the frock of Lucy, the clothes of Conrad. His expression conveyed the request—"Tell me another!" What ho actually said was:— "I am exceedingly grieved to hear this."

Conrad lit a cigarette carefully, producing it from a gold case. "I will tell you all about it," he began. "Miss Creed has been trying unsuccessfully to get a job on the stage. I am trying to, be a journalist, and can't. We are unable to support ourselves any longer. I am about to enlist in the Gold Hussars, and Miss Creed will become a governess or a domestic servant. She refuses to marry me. Sg we are enjoj'ing a farewell bust. I had twenty pounds at the beginning of the evening, and I may have ten at the end. You will see that for us to accept your very kind invitation is impossible." "Creed?" breathed the Earl musingly. "Creed? Not by any chance one of the Creeds of Caiingochan ?" "Dear old Cairngoehan!" exclaimed Lucy, with a meaning glance at Conrad. "I remember so well staying with my grandmother as a little girl." "And you," pursued Lord Battersoa turning to Conrad, "are perhaps ono o' the Rutlandshire Pixtons?" Conrad grinned. "Perhaps T am. but in the circum ■stances " "Sir," asserted the Earl magnificent, ly, "that is enough for me. Mr. Lions, the Minister for the Interior, requires a secretary at a salary of £6OO a year I have influence—the post is yours

Meanwhile, you must let me ho your bunker tor the moment it is a privilege to be of service to a Rutlandshire I'ixton."

The eves of Lucv and Conrad met. She turned to Lord Battersea with a smile that made Conrad jealous. •'How perfectly delightful of you! Of course, we'll be only too glad to do anything—anything!" she exclaimed.

The Kail rose. "I am due at Buckingham Palace at nine o'clock." ho announced. "If you will lunch with me at my place in Park Street to-morrow at twelve-thirty, I will motor you down to Oxfordshire. My man shall see to your luggage." Ho took leave of them, and withdrew.

Even the alien waiters were impressed.

Cunningly shaded• lights shone over

the ancestral dining-room of Battersea Paik. It was from that very chamber that good King YVanceslas went forth on tin- feast of St. Stephen, and from its mullioned window the seventeenth Earl, grandfather of the present holder of the title, had solemnly cursed the j first railway train to run on the track I visible six miles away, declaring that ! it would spoil scent and ruin the hunting. Conrad and Lucy dined there with the Ea«J, his daughter, and Lord Polio Angevin. The dinner served was of the best, but Lady Dulcinea and her fiance merely toyed with the braised filberts a la liordelaise and macerated .nectar' ines. Afterwards in the mauve drawingroom Lucy sang, while Lord Hollo turned over the music for her with musicianly sympathy. She sang "Violets," the most vegetarian ballad she could think of, following it with "The Last Rose of Summer." "I suppose," she said to Lord Rollo finally, with a maternal glance, "you aren't very strong. Those funny clothes, I mean"—she pointed to his hygienic dress suit—"and the special diet. I always feel so sorry for invalids." Lord Rollo snorted. "Tell you the truth," he blurted out. "I'm simply pinin' for a steak, and some decent togs again." Lucy smiled, and her head drooped. The line of her throat represented one of her greatest assets. She began to spea"k to Lord Rollo in low. urgent

tones. "Are vou genuinely fond of Lady Dulcinea', and very fed up with this vegetarian nonsense?" she asked. "Pretty gone on Dulcinea. but I can't stand this new freak lately. I pretended to please her, and I. hoped she'd get sick of it, but she won't. ' "Vou must elope with me," declared Lucy firmly. "No, hush!—it will only be make-believe. Conrad and I have come down to help you." "Jolly decent of you, I'm sure!" exclaimed the gratified nobleman. "I'll speak to tho Earl on my way up to bed. I've got the whole plan worked out. Now listen." And between the intervals of song she explained the procedure. Far off, at tho opposite end of the mauve drawing-room, Conrad, sitting upright in his chair, hold an improving conversation with Lady Dulcinea. In hisv study the Earl of Battersea wrote another chapter of his monumental work, "Some Experiences of an M.F.H. in the Crossing of the British' Field Spaniel with '-the Rumelian Schweinhund," and chuckled. Later, Conrad, on his way to bed, kissed Lucy with that quiet affection which so appeals to the average girl.

Tho next morning, quite early, about 7.30 a.m., to bo exact, a merry purr proceeded from the Earl's garage, as the 30 h.p. Daimler, with two-seater body, throbbed gently to the music of her engine. No one stirred save Lord Rollo, draped from head to foot in a dust-coloured rainproof. Presently, with a pitter-patter of little brownbooted feet, Lucy strolled up, similarly rainproofed and wearing a dainty leather hat. She flung a small luncheon basket into the car, and nodded goodmorning. "That's breakfast," she announced. we couldn't have it in the house, because the servants would know.' The Earl himself packed it last night, burglariously entering his butler's domain to do so. Have you left tho letter addressed to Lady Dulcinea on vour dressiug-tahle?" Lord Rollo nodded. ' "Hope overythiiig'll come off all right!" he prayed anxiously. "Pooh! Of course it will. Let's be moving before anyone comes. You're not a very feverish abductor, are you ? They got into the car, and he steered her out of the drive into the road, turning her bonnet south. The morning airrevived him, and soon Lucy had him in the best of spirits. After threequarters of an hour they drew near to the town of Oxford, and paused just north of Woodstock to breakfast happily by the roadside. "We've nothing to do, and all day to do it in," reflected tho abducted lady in satisfied tones, a slab of game pie on its way to her mouth. "Have you any plans, daring abductor of young women?" ~ . ~ "H'm " replied Lord Rollo thoughtfully. "Lunch at Henley, I think, and then work round in a circle to the right through Reading and Wallingford have tea in Oxford, and so home to dinner. Climb up, pretty lady, and we will go on." . . , And the abduction proceeded. Meanwhile affairs progressed at Battersea Park. Tho Earl awoke to find one of his best cars gone, and two of his guests missing. A servant brought to Ladv Dulcinea at breakfast, in the midst of a summing up unfavourable to the absent ones, a letter discovered on Lord Rollo's dressing-table. "Perhaps he has an explanation, she said almost hopefully to Conrad, who showed a mournful face opposite her He shook his head. . "Fatal mistake trying to explain. Alwavs liable to be misunderstood, he declared, watching her closely as she re V faint pallor overspread her fe *<He eS savs," she exclaimed, a little breathless;" "he can't stand my fads, and he's eloped with Miss Creed My dear Mr Pixton, 1 can hardly believe

'* Conrad pointed a disillusioned hand down the table. ~ , "Empty seats-mute witnesses! he said leavilv. "Your father tells me the 30-horse Daimler has gone. Excuse mv natural emotion Lucy and I—"I understand." broke m Lady DulCi TheS'entered. His face appeared lined and drawn, and he was even more correctly .garbed than nroal. "This is sad news. Mi. rixton, n« i a n "Naturally lam much upset. Of course, vou are not in the least to blame 1 'doubt the wisdom of Lord RouVs and Miss Creed's action but m one thing I am determined-there ls be no public scandal. I am on my av now to consult my lawyer. I have seldom felt so moved since the pheasant shooting failed in 1877." He l>asscd out in his stately fashion. It was then that Dulcinea displayed a human touch for the first time in many weeks.

"Mr. Pixton," she exclaimed, almost tearfully, "we are both of us in a bereaved condition. You are a man of the world. Advise me—what am T to do?"

His considering eyes rested on her changed countenance. . - "Are you wise to consult me, Lady Dulcinea? I am also bereft, as you observed. Perhaps I have never told you that Lucy and 1 " He gazed out of the window. "Yes, yes," retorted Lady Dulcinea, a little, crossly, "but von are a man.

She was only one among many. I am a woman, and we do things one at a time. What do you suggest P" The wounded bird manner fell from Conrad instantly. His tones became perceptibly brisk. "You must drop all this patent food, natural wool farce. A man wants a woman because he knows every other man wants her too, not because she wears flannel next her «kin. You have. frightened poor Angevin away—and, ah! at what cost to me. Never mind! Exchange is no robbery. Have you a decent frock left ?" "I believe I have somewhere. Victorine cries over them occasionally." "Put on the best and brightest, curl the hair, and gladden the eye. Bring the roses of youth back to that pale face. Oct them naturally, if you can, but better out of a bottle than not at all."

Conrad rose to his feet ; she stared at him with bulging eyes. "My dear Lady Dulcinea, be a pretty woman again. Come up to town with me and select the most ravishing clothes money can buy. Lunch with me at the Savoy, and spend the afternoon at Ranelagh, or anywhere else charming. Sparkle, sparkle, little thing!" She stood awe-struck. Then, hurrying to the door, she paused. "I'll do it!" she exclaimed, with a touch of Conrad's exaltation. "Goodness knows, they aren't married yet, and may never be. If they are, I'll grin at them, and if they aren't, I'll make him jealous, jealous, jealous. Wait half an hour." And she was gone. Left alone, Conrad smoked a cigarette in the hall with exquisite relish. "It will he a glorious day," he told himself. "I hope Lucy is having as good a time? Ah, these little hearts on the rebound! How they flutter against the first available shoulder! How nice to be the shoulder!" He sighed luxuriously. No one would have recognised the tall, handsome girl, clad from hat to shoe in two shades of old rose, Avho floated down the staircase to Conrad as the Lady Dulcinea. of the night before Boker, the old butler, born during ' the siege of Lucknow, shed a tear of happiness as she passed. Conrad forgot all about Lucy. Ht swam in a sea of pleasantries and flirtation all day long; the lunch, tinshopping, the afternoon—all were per feet. The shades of night fell softly at they re-entered the hall of the Earl's ancestral home. Garbed in conven tional evening dress, Lucy and Rollo sat on opposite sides of it. The atmos phere appeared likely to be chargee with electricity.

Lady Dulcinea approached the great fireplace with that naive slouch which is the product of heraldic ancestry and the hobble skirt combined. She pose? gracefully with one foot on the fender and glanced back under her eyelids at his Lordship. "Hullo, Rollo! Any sport?" she drawled. .. Lord Rollo crouched in his chair without replying. Lucy rose and flung out appealing arms, one foot advanced, and her head thrown back, according to Sandow's eighty-fifth exercise. "Ladv Dulcinea," she exclaimed -n a tragic contralto. "I have a confession to make. I. lured Lord Rollo away. Ah! I was niahd—mahd." Her voice broke. "And now I am humiliated, and you will pity me—because you need not ho angry. ' His .love for you conquered everything. He . . . Wo . . . we aie back." Her head drooped, and she took a stumbling step forward. "Well", Rollo?" said Lady Dulcinea. Her- eyes were half-closed. tehe drawled the words in a slow, seductive purr. Her head leant back a little. One could see her throat was very beautiful.

Suddenly Lord Rollo became, aware that Lucy' and Conrad were not there. He made'two strides to Lady Dulcinea, and literally snatched her to him. "So—you' love mo after—all?" she gasped presently between his kisses.

The Earl of Battersea conveyed to Lucy and Conrad his stately thanks. Their married life has been idyllic, owing to the generous salary paid to Conrad by the providential Mr. Lions. Twice a year they assist at Lady Angevin's At' Homes.